driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Everybody who hates this moon! And a few that don't!
Broadcast: Nope
Action: The Good Ship Iskaulit
When: Throughout the Toxic Moon event

[Y'all, Misty can't be the only one who hates this place, so let's all gather on the Iskaulit, safe from all that dark and rot down on the polluted moon and have ourselves a good time!

(Or at least, a pollution-free time).

A list of establishments on the Iskaulit can be found here!]

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[He nods. Yup, up to a point. A very shitty point.

It's crazy to think about how much rested on their shoulders. To just separate meant a friggin apocalypse. And nowadays, Sam can't help but wonder how involved they should be anymore - and yet somehow, like magic, they're cast right into the middle of some seriously messed up shit. He's been exhausted for the last decade, Kitty.]

I was, um, fortunate enough to have Cas here first. He's from the same timeline as Dean.

It's just... It sucks, having another life in another world go so badly, but there's nothing you can do to fix it, y'know? Not yet, anyway. I wish I could do something to make it up to them; even if it wasn't me... it was still kind of me.

It's not your life to fix. It's that Sam's life. [She can only imagine how she'd react if another Kitty decided to fix her, but it wouldn't be pretty.]

You're a different person. You shouldn't be judged for what someone else does or is. [But.] It's hard to look into a face you know and not see the person you want or expect to see there. [She has a lot of experience with X-Men that aren't her X-Men.]

[He shakes his head.]

I've told myself that. And I know. It's just... It's easier said than done, right now. Because regardless of who I am — who I know I am — that's not what Dean sees. But the person he does see, it could have easily been me. The split in our timeline... it's just one thing, one thing that separated me from that Sam. One choice.

It's hard to separate myself from that.

And it's - even harder to tell them that, when the differences are so... few.

That's...a pretty thin difference. [The realities she has experience with are more sweepingly different. Then again, her world and another departed at the life of just one man. He died and then everything cascaded after that. But she wasn't alive for that change so it would be harder to see as one thing.]

Must have been a big choice. [At least big enough to put him and a version of his brother on the outs.]

[He nods, having gone quiet.]

One of the biggest. I, um. I'd let something... evil take over me.

Something I was fated for.

[He breathes out through his nose.]

I wish I knew... I don't know what I was thinking... how it happened. They don't really know either, I think. We separated in my world and his, but... in my timeline, we decided we were better together than apart. Maybe I'd been tricked, or maybe my plan to fight it failed, or maybe... hell, I probably just -- lost the faith.

[He glances back toward the worship area, slowly moving to sit on one of the benches allotted.]

Doesn't matter how it happened, I guess. Just that it did. For them.

[She listens quietly taking it in and trying to get a picture of what happened. "Evil" is a pretty big word and while she's used it before she really just meant someone horrible—maybe a psychopathic sadist. There were plenty of those living large back where she came from. She doesn't know a ton about Sam and Dean's world, but what she does know makes her think he may actually mean evil. It's an easier concept to digest a year into multi-dimensional joyrides.]

Were you tempted to make the same choice?

[No, Dean was actually the one who almost made the choice. But he's not about to throw Dean under the tires for it — past is in the past, and in the end, Dean put his faith in Sam. And Sam will always be grateful for that, no matter how fucked up things have gotten between them. Hey, not much has gotten worse than their relationship during that period of their lives. Maybe the Mark comes up a close second. Once it involves Dean trying to kill him or letting him die, that kind of toes the line, eh?

He shrugs.]

Not exactly. In the end, I did make the same choice. Um, but... It was on purpose, between all of us. A plan we all agreed on. [Fuck, that's hard to explain without going into stormy seas. He bites his lip.] I, um. It's complicated, I guess. But I had them with me, so I was able to wrestle control back with their support, and we avoided the... bad end, you could say.

[It is a lot to follow and she's happy enough to take in the broad strokes for now which are clear enough.]

So maybe other you was trying to do the same thing, but it didn't work out so well without the support? It always helps to know who you're fighting for. [The masses can get a little abstract, but team is family.]

[He sighs, glancing back at the place he'd been praying.]

I hope so. Nobody knows, I think. Nobody but me and the person who used me.

... Probably'll never know.

But -- I'd like to think I really tried.

[She watches him thoughtfully. And hears the way he uses "I" for the other Sam. He really must be taking it to heart, which she can understand. Her double was such a very different person, but there was still a connection there and if she'd heard about someone more similar who had made some huge mistake it would be hard.]

You did at least. Can't be easy to just have the people another version of you failed around. No one from your timeline?

[He shakes his head.]

Just them.

But... uh. I have good friends here. They know me pretty well -- saw enough about me.

I have that much, so I don't have too much room to complain, right?

Saw? Oh, the calibrations? [Beverly had told her about that.]

Who am I to stop anyone from complaining? But focusing on the good things sounds like one of those things healthy people do. [She smiles a little.]

[He smiles back.

Though...]

Actually, I haven't gone through any of that yet. The calibrations.

But there are people here who knew me in the last place I was trapped in; they came in with those memories, and that place... well, it really did a number on us. This place really isn't too bad in comparison, I hate to admit it.

I haven't seen anyone from my last place. At least no one who remembers being there. [Since obviously she remembers Sam and Dean.] What was your last place?

A place called Adstringendum. Same song, a little different in the dance.

Scientists there messed up their technology, made rips in the universe there that let us all accidentally fall in. My friend there figured out a ritual to get us all back home, but at that point the omnipresent spirits in charge made things a pain in the ass.

Hmm, I remember a time when I was very young and that could have sounded strange to me. Or I guess it would have sounded cool to me like a book I would have wanted to read.

So, did the ritual work? Did you get home before being dragged here?

Actually, it did. Eventually. We had to, um, destroy a giant evil cloud god that was killing the land and murdering the residents, but we pulled through. It was... something alright. Maybe I'll write down the tale on the network sometime, keep it on record.

Wow, I can't tell you how many times I've had to destroy and evil cloud god. They are the worst. [Never. It was never times. She smiles though.]

Yeah, good thing to have a record of. That's probably the hardest part of these places. Just trying to gather, store, and disseminate information with people coming and going and forgetting. Makes it hard to get anything done.

[He grins right back.]

Who knows how much information has slipped through the cracks.

I wish there was some way to get things more properly recorded. I think the likely issue is that whoever's working on it might disappear, and even if someone takes it over, it'll probably fall to the wayside after a while. And then nobody will even know the data exists in the first place.

Maybe it's something the library could house. Granted, that has it's own turn over I'm sure, but if everyone knew to take their information to archive there it might help consolidate it.

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