driftfleet | First ♣ Video + Action

Who: Allen Walker
Broadcast: Network, video.
Action: Fellow members of the SS Tourist
When: A few days after the initial arrival

[It takes several days for Allen to accept that this is possibly not something Paradisa created. The lack of journals, the stories that he had left, the fact it's been half a week and none of them have died yet (or anything noteworthy happening really!)- it seemed more and more like he really wasn't in that world anymore. Which...he really didn't know how to feel about that. The more he thought on it, the more complicated it got.]

[Which after awhile, Allen decided to give up thinking and decided to actually get stuff done. So the feed will open up with him in the SS Tourist's cargo bay, sitting on some boxes by their treadmill.]

Ah- is this on? oh it-

Hello everyone! Um, my name's Allen Walker. If we haven't met, it seems I'm the lab support on the SS Tourist. It's nice to meet you all, despite the circumstances.

Anyway...I was wondering if anyone has noticed that...any of their abilities seem to be- limited? It's just they aren't completely gone- but my inno- [correcting himself, since rather avoid those dozens of question and innuendos] my powers seem to barely work at all. [Muttered] Then again, that might be a blessing considering the food...

[Oh right. it's rude to mutter stuff while addressing crowds] - I mean, I'm simply wondering if it's happened for anyone else and what it could mean. As in...on one hand it could be something they did intentionally to control us and prevent us from breaking their ships - but on the other hand it it also could be a possible unintended side effect to their tampering of our nervous systems. Although I'm not sure which one would be worse...

[Oh. Oops. Muttering again!] - Oh! Sorry!

And finally, I was wondering...has anyone see a golem flying around their ships? He looks like a golden ball with wings and a tail- and there's a pale cross on his face. His name's Timcanpy- and I'd really like to know if he's here.

Ah- thank you everyone!

[And the feed cuts out]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's blackmail, that is. Straight up.

[he could argue it's more like bribery, but, honestly-]

...That's what you're choosing to be affronted about...?

[THEY'VE KIDNAPPED US AND TAMPERED WITH OUR BRAINS. PRIORITIES CROWLEY. PRIORITIES.]

I think it's an important thing to be affronted about.

[ALCOHOL IS TOTALLY A PRIORITY, HE CAN GET A NEW BRAIN GOSH.]

[There may be a slight eyeroll here] If you say so, Crowley.

I do say so, it's very important.

[Whaaatever. But the conversation reminds him of an idea]

Maybe we'll find some later.

But hey, I don't suppose you can create money, can you?

[Okay, so he may already be considering ways to cheat the system. Sue him]

I certainly hope so.

Hmmm, that's a good question, actually. [Give him a second.] OH COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can't?!

[NO FAIR!!]

What about jewels?! Gold? Valuables we can pawn off?!

[Long pause.]

Seriously, why give me my abilities back if I can't manifest anything I want, it's just plain cruel.

[He groans] Bastards.

[So unfair. How are they supposed to cheat the system]

Maybe we'll get lucky and some planets will find stuff you can create valuable.

You can say that again.

[Totally unfair, really.]

Hmm, I'm sure there's some stupid world out there where something like a toaster can be valuable.

I...wouldn't be surprised! Toasters are handy.

[At least to Allen. Especially the four slot ones!!]

[Allen no, that's greedy.]

Also great for dispatching people in bathtubs, I hear.

If you're a sort of bathtub assassin sort.

[HIS OWN VIEWS ON KILLING ASIDE-]

....That's the stupidest assassination method I've ever heard.

It's usually used for more revenge killings than proper above-board assassinations.

But-

Who keeps a toaster in their bathroom? Even I'm not that bad!

No- No. Allen, they take the toaster from the kitchen to the bathroom.

They do?

But wouldn't it be easier to use a hair-drier- or some other electronic thing in the bathroom?

They do.

Well, I'm sure some lazier, less traditional people might use hair dryers.

[He scoffs!]

Throwing toasters into a bathtub is not a traditional method of revenge killing!

Yes it is. It totally is.

It happens in loads of murder mysteries.

No it's not! What kind of stupid mystery would that be?

[Very poorly mimicking an American accent]

"Gee! I wonder how he died! It can't have anything to do with this toaster shooting sparks in the tub, can it? Ya think it was an accident?!"

[He makes a "bah" sound]

The mystery isn't about how he died, it's about who did the murder.

It'd be whoever they know that's absurd enough to use the toaster instead of the hair-drier.

Unless the person knew they'd be looking for such a dumbass and used the toaster to throw the cops off their scent.

Video

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