Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
collegedropout) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-05-10 02:34 am
collegedropout) wrote in driftfleet2016-05-10 02:34 am
video.
Who: Sam Winchester
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Red Fish
When: Today-ish
[Sam's currently taking the time to heal after certain people we shall not name shot him in the arm; it's all good, it's all good. Pop some pain meds, keep the arm from getting worked too hard, it's going great. But now that he can't go do some work down on the moon, he's a bit more restless. Maybe he should tell Katie about his arm, have her work a little magic mojo...? Or should he just. Not tell the small child that someone shot him in the arm. Anyway.
He takes some time to voice some internal stuff. It was mostly spawned by Nightingale, and he can't help but speak up; it's utterly bizarre, he thinks, that he does that now. Speak up. He's still shitty at it, like, 60% of the time, but every percent counts. He compares it to the guy who was dying in a chapel not so long ago, and really, the amount of worth he's found in himself compared to then is staggering when he thinks about it.
Things change. He feels like he's been changing at a vicious pace for the last eleven years. But is that so surprising? Considering the friggin' circumstances, he supposes it only makes sense.]
Someone here asked me how to think positive.
More than that, how to be positive about yourself. And honestly? That's a work in progress. Don't get me wrong, you're talking to a hypocrite if I go... chiding you on healthy outlooks. But you know, someone from another world gave me a task, back when I was low — I mean, really low. She said... Even if it's only once a week, once a month, you should stop and remind yourself of something positive — about yourself. Some good thing you do, or some skill you have. Something that makes you you. Strengths. Foundations for others to work off of. Or hey, maybe you just like the way your nose looks.
If's kind of important, isn't it? Feeling like you're worth something in some way. I'd argue it's kind of a survival technique, right? Believing in your capabilities, they kind of help you get through rough situations. Help you be a better person, or contribute in a way that makes you feel like an important puzzle piece.
[He sweeps his hands though the air, palm-up, simply gestures that come with conversation. One arm is less lively than the other.]
And yeah, I can already hear some of you, telling me to pipe down on the armchair psychology, can it with the talk show advice. Kind of sappy, right? But I mean — hear me out, huh? Humor me.
What's something you guys like about yourselves?
...
And if you give some creepy, flippant, or otherwise wise-ass reply for some chuckles, we get it. You like how edgy you are.
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Red Fish
When: Today-ish
[Sam's currently taking the time to heal after certain people we shall not name shot him in the arm; it's all good, it's all good. Pop some pain meds, keep the arm from getting worked too hard, it's going great. But now that he can't go do some work down on the moon, he's a bit more restless. Maybe he should tell Katie about his arm, have her work a little magic mojo...? Or should he just. Not tell the small child that someone shot him in the arm. Anyway.
He takes some time to voice some internal stuff. It was mostly spawned by Nightingale, and he can't help but speak up; it's utterly bizarre, he thinks, that he does that now. Speak up. He's still shitty at it, like, 60% of the time, but every percent counts. He compares it to the guy who was dying in a chapel not so long ago, and really, the amount of worth he's found in himself compared to then is staggering when he thinks about it.
Things change. He feels like he's been changing at a vicious pace for the last eleven years. But is that so surprising? Considering the friggin' circumstances, he supposes it only makes sense.]
Someone here asked me how to think positive.
More than that, how to be positive about yourself. And honestly? That's a work in progress. Don't get me wrong, you're talking to a hypocrite if I go... chiding you on healthy outlooks. But you know, someone from another world gave me a task, back when I was low — I mean, really low. She said... Even if it's only once a week, once a month, you should stop and remind yourself of something positive — about yourself. Some good thing you do, or some skill you have. Something that makes you you. Strengths. Foundations for others to work off of. Or hey, maybe you just like the way your nose looks.
If's kind of important, isn't it? Feeling like you're worth something in some way. I'd argue it's kind of a survival technique, right? Believing in your capabilities, they kind of help you get through rough situations. Help you be a better person, or contribute in a way that makes you feel like an important puzzle piece.
[He sweeps his hands though the air, palm-up, simply gestures that come with conversation. One arm is less lively than the other.]
And yeah, I can already hear some of you, telling me to pipe down on the armchair psychology, can it with the talk show advice. Kind of sappy, right? But I mean — hear me out, huh? Humor me.
What's something you guys like about yourselves?
...
And if you give some creepy, flippant, or otherwise wise-ass reply for some chuckles, we get it. You like how edgy you are.
action;
You find something to hold onto.
action;
He needs to go be miserable whilst not being stared at and now more than ever, when the world is getting horridly misty, Dean could go for some privacy like nobody's business. ]
Not if there's nothing else.
action;
... There's always something else.
[Even when Sam doesn't want it, too. Even when he's ready to lay down and die. There was Ruby leading him toward darker things. There was Amelia leading him toward a moment's peace. There was Dean, pulling him back when he wanted the Trials to swallow him whole and spit out the bones. There's always something to fill that miserable kind of void.]
I can't say it'll be the thing you want. But. There is. That counts for here, too. [He reaches out to pat Dean's shoulder, stops and hovers there.] Just... consider that, okay? Think on that.
action;
There's Cas. There's been Cas ever since he lost you, and that's it. Dean's just grown used to that fact, which makes it infinitely easier to believe that there will never be anyone else. ]
Gonna have to agree to disagree.
action;
... Just takes some time.
You'll see. It'll get better.
action;
Because that's ever happened.
[ Can he slowly walk away now. Is that allowed. ] Anything else you want to add?
action;
[Sam's got faith. He's always had to have some of it, to get through the day. After a moment, he cocks his head to the side. Is quiet, as he mulls over Dean's words, his tone, the aura around him that screams escape. His lips curve, just slightly.]
... Let's go play darts later. I won't even dive into any feel-good movie speeches.
action;
So fine, this is something he can do. And potentially even enjoy. ]
Keep it off the Hallmark channel and we'll be fine.
action;
Sounds like a deal.
[And so, we've avoided any big arguments for the rest of the day.
And all was okay until Meg showed up.]