driftfleet | Heron May mingle

[Five minutes of privacy. Seriously. Is that too much to ask? Just which deity does Shinji have to beg for a favor from so he can get five minutes to himself to investigate his own potentially infected blood? He looks over his shoulder, bleary-eyed. He has all the symptoms of chronic insomnia and not getting enough sunlight.]

Hello.

[At least he's willing to look sheepish about this trespass.]

I was just, uh... looking for some stuff.

I can see that.

[ He raises an eyebrow at him - giving Shinji the distinct impression of a schoolmaster or a teacher. ]

May I ask what you might be looking for?

[That distinct impression is distinctly familiar. Shinji hasn't thought all that much about his guardian, who could be very stern like that.]

The stuff to... [...] To draw my blood. And something to look at it, or scan it. I'm just curious.

[ People rarely draw blood for the sake of curiosity. Charles breaks his rule to look deeper into Shinji's mind for the real reason. ]

Well, then you only need a little. Let's take a prick and check it under the microscope.

[--an I trust him? I don't know. I don't know if I can trust any of these people. Shinji is confused, too, on top of being suspicious of everyone. He still remembers when his guardian--an older woman with dark hair--would draw his blood and spin it around in a centrifuge to check for nasty things. That's what she said, anyway. "Nasty things." He had a rough, often sickly early childhood that kept him inside the house.

Back to the matter at hand:]

Oh, okay...

[He's worried that he's gotten sick again. Or that he's somehow changed, fundamentally, from within.]

Are you a doctor or something?

I'm a professor, but I have some training in that area.

[ Charles wheels over to get a small needle. He only needed a pinprick. ]

Are there any doctors in the Fleet you trust? It might be easier to go straight to them for an analysis.

Oh.

[Shinji considers that question, searching through the people he's come across, before he shakes his head.]

I don't think I've even met a doctor... and I'm not about to ask the network for volunteers. It's probably nothing. I just wanted to... check... [He fidgets nervously. He shifts his weight from foot to foot.] But, thank you for the help. I'm, uh... I'm Shinji. We haven't talked before now, have we? [His fault. He's usually hiding in his room, avoiding the Heron's constant churn.]

No, I believe we have not. My name is Charles Xavier.

[ He takes out a small needle. ]

I don't think we need to draw a large amount just to check the state of your blood. Is there anything you're looking for in particular?

[Shinji rolls up the cuff of his long-sleeved shirt--navy blue, unremarkable, just a few sizes too large on him--with a slight frown. He wiggles his fingers, as if testing them out. He looks perfectly normal, which makes him doubt his own sanity when it comes to how he feels.]

Uh... I'm looking for... anything out of the ordinary? Like if there's too many red blood cells, or... not enough... [He winces. This sounds less and less like passing curiosity.] I've been kind of worried about my blood pressure.

[ Charles raises an eyebrow. ]

There are easier methods to checking blood pressure without drawing blood. What are you really afraid of?

[Shinji glances at the door to the medical bay. He could leave. It wouldn't have to be suspicious--he could say something else has come up. Maybe he could claim he's going to ask around for an actual doctor. Nothing wrong with listening to advice. Nothing.

But the problem with lying constantly is that it gets tiresome eventually.]

... If I tell you, you're going to think I'm crazy.

You'd be surprised how little I find crazy after being kidnapped on the Fleet.

[ And Charles would be able to tell the difference. ] I promise I won't dismiss your concerns out of hand.

Fair point.

[But a promise doesn't make it any easier for Shinji to confess certain things. Clearly nervous as hell, he looks down at his feet and rubs at the side of his neck.] But I don't... really know where to start... [Trying to save Ayanami? Piloting Eva? His childhood? Way too much exposition that no one has time for.] I guess... like half a year ago, I, uh... I manifested... [Is that the word he wants to use? He tries not to mumble too much when he says,] ... some weird symptoms.

[A nice euphemism for supernatural powers.

More quickly, now:]

Th-They went away for a while, but recently they've been showing up again. And I just want to make sure it isn't due to a disease or--or--or something bad, you know? That's all I want to make sure of.

[ Charles hums lightly, taking this into account. ]

Can you describe the symptoms for me?

[Hesitation. Even more hesitation. Shinji struggles to find the words that won't make him sound delusional.]

When I get... really emotional, uhm... things... happen. Things I can't explain. My chest will feel hot, and my eyes, and... [He finishes in a rush, just getting it out there:] I can do things with my mind. Impossible things.

[Deep breaths, now. He's too scared to look at Charles directly.]

There's more to it than that, but...

Edited 2016-06-03 03:08 (UTC)

[ He nods with a deliberate look on his face. ]

If it helps, I have powers too. And it sounds like yours manifested over time, like mine did. It was . . . easily a very frightening experience.

[ It took him three years to figure out reality and sanity, to realize he wasn't mad. ]

And you think it's linked to your blood or DNA? I'm a geneticist so I can look into both.

[Oh. Huh. Shinji blinks a few times, now looking back up. He's met all sorts of people with abilities, some of them very weird, but he wasn't expecting this guy to confirm the same.]

Really? I mean, yeah, it's... it's pretty freaking scary...

[Having a geneticist helping him out is a good thing, but Shinji still quails a little.]

I don't know for sure. But... [Ritsuko's warning echoes in his mind: Shinji-kun, stop! You won't be able to return to human form! Was it Eva's fault? Did Eva do something to alter his DNA? The Curse of Eva, after all... Or was he "different" before he stepped foot inside Eva?] If I had to guess, it'll show up in my blood, or my DNA, or both. I think I'm most afraid of--not being me anymore.

[ Gently. ]

I think that's a fear we all come to have when we are gifted with strange powers. But our powers don't define us unless we want them to. The only way you can stop being you is when you choose not to be.

Whatever shows up won't change who you are.

[That...

Oh, man.

That sounds like the uplifting sort of thing Kaworu would say to him. That's pretty reassuring, really, but it makes him wonder if he should just confront Kaworu about this bullshit. Kaworu would probably know what's going on with him without doing any tests at all.

Confrontation just isn't Shinji's strong suit, though. He takes a deep breath, and then he nods in the small, tentative way of a student on their first day of school.]

The thing is... I don't know if these powers can be called a "gift." They can be... destructive, if they get out of control. [That's putting it so lightly that he feels like he's lying through his teeth. Damn it.] I don't want to cause trouble for anyone, especially not when we're stranded in space.

Then perhaps we can teach you to control them. My powers are destructive in a different way. So are many people I know. But if you learn control, then they can be protective as well. Helping people you care about.

It doesn't have to lead down a terrible path.

[ He pauses. ] It's what I do. I train people with powers.

Training...? That's possible? [Shinji has been so scared of himself, his powers, that he never thought about trying to control them. It seems like a recipe for disaster, even though this guy says he has experience training people with powers. The ability to turn reality inside out is way too extreme.

But Shinji learned how to pilot an Evangelion, which seemed impossible at first, too. He looks down at his open palm, then squeezes his fingers in, tight and tighter. His heart is too watery for determination, but he hasn't backed down yet.]

Someone... [He goes quiet, tasting bitterness, before trying again:] Someone put this... collar on me, once, saying I couldn't be trusted, that I had to be contained, like a wild animal. [The DSS Choker is gone now, but every so often he swears he can feel it there, digging into his throat.] If this is really something I can control... it would be such a relief, sir.

Edited 2016-06-05 06:41 (UTC)

[ A collar. Barbaric. Charles doesn't let his anger show. ]

I believe it's possible. I've taught someone who could shoot kinetic energy from his chest. There are many people out there with many different kinds of abilities, but the truth is we all need a little help in understanding and controlling our powers.

Why don't we find out together?

[Shooting kinetic energy from their chest...? That's a pretty far cry from causing an Impact, but Shinji can't deny the flicker of hope in his heart. Sometimes, all someone needs is an impartial third party who isn't going to condemn them instantaneously.]

Well...

[He smiles, and then he frowns, and then he settles on something inscrutable: a weak, wry, almost self-aware smirk.]

If you're willing to put up with me, then... please, look after me. I don't think I can do this on my own.

[ His expression softens. He's met students like Shinji. People. All of them are dead now, lost to the Vietnam War. Charles never expected to reignite that part of himself, that ability to help others. He had thought he lost it completely. ]

None of us can. So I would be honoured to help you out.

[Honored? Really? Shinji feels a little bit like he's dreaming, like none of this is happening. There are a million ways figuring out his powers can go horribly wrong. But, maybe there's at least one way it can go right.]

Okay. Okay, then... [Flustered, he looks down at his hands again. His face is too warm.] That sounds like a plan to me. So, do you want... my blood, to have a look at it...?

Heron May mingle

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