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Who: Wrath
Broadcast: Video broadcast to the fleet
Action: On the Iskaulit, near Wrath's mural, or later on the Windrose
When: May 30

[Wrath's just finished another part of her mural; it's visible behind her, the rolling fields and the starscape blending together somehow. For those her know her, she seems a bit more sober than normal, more thoughtful, pink hair and all. But this is something she's been thinking about for a while, as she's begun to unwind and consider things in a nominally safer environment.]

Hi everyone. This is lieutenant Wrath, of the Windrose. And...

I think there are a lot of people around like me. Soldiers and former soldiers, I mean. Active duty or discharged with honors or turfed out on medical, it doesn't matter. We were all soldiers and... we still are, maybe, because it's not something that just goes away with the uniform.

I think it would be good for us to talk some time. Just casual stuff. Maybe meet up on the Iskaulit for beer or coffee or hot chocolate for people who can't have alcohol or caffeine. [Like her.] Because... there are things about our lives that no one but us, but people like us, can really understand. And it's important to have someone who understands you, and what it's like to be in the shit, and what it's like to have your squad at your back.

Also, I just finished this phase of my mural, and I think next I want to do something that's for... us. Because we have people we should remember, and things we shouldn't forget. So I'm going to start working on the concept sketches for the next big panel, and I'd like to hear feedback and ideas from my fellow soldiers.

And everyone else, this doesn't mean that you're less special, or the rest of the mural is any less for you, or you're not allowed. I still care about all of you, too.

[But. It's not the same. She's not really sure how to put it, though, so she gives the camera a firm nod, and ends the video.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

being in the army is the only thing i remember until i got turfed out on medical so i understand some though i'm sure you've got some different shit going on from what i did but finn i know i've done some fucked up things even if i don't remember them well and

[Hm. Okay. Circumspect for once in her life.]

i know some other people in situations kind of on the spectrum from mine to yours so i think it is important we all get to talk because it's important to talk about but i wouldn't trust just any civilian with this shit there's so much stuff they don't understand so i want you to feel safe because safe is important we both know there aren't a hell of a lot of safe places even if they look safe

some things are the same no matter where you are i think part of that is getting a good co like i have now but you dont always have a choice about that in fact most of the time you dont but i got lucky this time

yeah its really important and theres a lot that might scare people i dont want to scare my new friends im not scary at least i dont want to be but if they knew theyd probably never talk to me again it would be nice to have a place to talk about it without worrying about that

having a good co really helps the co for my division was always really good so i got lucky in that way and i'm glad you have a good captain now that can be helpful i think i wish i could say you wouldn't scare your friends but it's hard to tell like all the civilians i've talked to here have been very nice and kind and try to be understanding but that also means they ask questions that are really kind of dumb and frustrating and then i feel bad about being irritated because they don't get it so i get wanting to be cautious and hell i'll tell people some shit but the really bad shit i've only told like the two other soldiers i know who really understand it and then my captain because he asked and i trust him and charles xavier because he's trying to help my brain be less broken and he doesn't judge but i think if you're not sure talking to your brother soldiers is the best because they will understand and have your back

yeah captain dany is pretty good it could be a lot worse im glad you trust your captain too that can make a huge difference like i trust poe and i know i can ask him questions about how to fit in and he wont think less of me but its a little different cause he was an officer and a pilot and im just a rank and file trooper and besides i dont want to dump it all on him all the time thats not fair

yeah i get that because it feels like you got a lot of stuff and you don't wanna just offload it on someone when it's rough i think don't worry so much about the enlisted versus officer divide for this kind of thing because we were all soldiers in the end but i also get that it'd be good to talk to another enlisted guy i was enlisted for a bit but got a field promotion really early i think we gotta find some resources for figuring out how the fuck to civilian because this shit isn't easy and the civilians seem to think it is so it's super frustrating

yeah i dont want to lean too hard on him if i dont have to but a guide on how to civilian would be damn helpful im sure im doing it wrong at least if anything is too weird i can pretend its part of my culture or something thats one advantage to not being from earth nobody knows whats normal for me or not

anyway yeah its a great idea just let me know where and when should i bring something pinkie pie says youre supposed to bring food to a gathering but shes a pony see im already having trouble being a civilian

i wish i had that kind of guide i wonder if some of the guys who have actually adjusted somewhat could help out with something like that like tell us how the fuck money works and stuff like that hahaha i just smile all the time finn so if i do something weird i think people just assume i'm mentally deficient which i guess is better than the alternative okay but i don't know anything about ponies but you don't have to bring something i'll make sure there's stuff to drink like hot chocolate and maybe some coffee if i can scare it up but don't worry about it you just need to show up

well i get how money works i think they pay us to be on the show and then we use that to buy stuff i couldnt tell you more than that though mostly i just pretend i know whats going on it seems to work

see thats just it im not sure if its a pony thing or a civilian thing but if theres drinks that should be okay we can always eat before or after i dont really know how snacks work anyway oh we have a ration of coffee grounds on the caprine though i can bring some and some powered synthmilk and synthsweet if you want

oh that's good i'm glad you understand money i don't know i try but the numbers don't make sense to me so i end up just having to get help from one of my friends so yeah the fake it til you make it method is good that's a great strategy um snacks are like having little ration bars i guess or crackers or whatever you saved as a treat my captain actually makes these super tasty kelp snacks but anyway let's just stick to drinks cause otherwise it's too complicated and i don't want people to worry about stuff simple is better but oh man if you don't mind bringing coffee that would be great i never have any of that cause i'm not allowed to have caffeine so i appreciate that thank you

fake it till you make it sounds about right i just hope it doesnt crash and burn too badly i feel like it might but im going to put it off as long as i can yeah i can definitely bring coffee i still dont really get snacks though like are you not supposed to eat the whole bowl or is it there for everybody first come first serve that sounds like a test to me its tough

the most important thing is don't lie because lying is bad and you have to keep track of all the lies and they eventually fall apart okay just remember that oh so snacks you're just only supposed to take a little at a time cause you're sharing with everyone cause it's there to just like eat for fun and not to fill you up if you're hungry i guess it's kind of weird

no i cant tell general kenobi i was on the wrong side hell know i was a traitor

i don't know who general kenobi is but if he's a dick to you i will kick the shit out of him

hes not a dick i just dont want to disappoint him he would be so disappointed in me

if he's disappointed in you when you're doing your best he's a fucking dick

well hes not yet but its complicated im from his future well the future compared to him and the others and its really bad what happens but i cant tell any of them it wouldnt do any good it would only hurt them this timeline stuff is even more complicated than regular civilian life

stop running yourself in circles if bad shit is gonna happen you gotta tell people and if you're worried about bad shit you're a good person so if this general isn't a dick he'll listen

well he's not a dick

i guess id be ashamed to tell them

ok so the problem isn't the general the problem is you feel bad look finn it's okay to have some bad feelings about shit you've done but you have to be careful to not like project those feelings on other people like it's better to give them a chance and then if they're going to be dicks that's on them but people will surprise you i think though on the other hand i have only told like two people who aren't brother soldiers what went on with me and that is also okay because we're not anyone's entertainment or story or redemption narrative or whatever i guess the thing you have to ask yourself is if the information you can pass on to this general that might help him is worth you talking about stuff you don't want to talk about and that's your call to make and the other thing to keep in mind is like we cannot change the past no matter how much we want to and thinking about it too much will make you crazy you can only keep moving forward from where you are today and do what you know is right with the time and tools you have you are not the same person as you were yesterday hell depending on your particular situation that might be very literal instead of metaphorical

Edited 2016-06-04 15:59 (UTC)

[There's a delay as Finn thinks about this.]

well part of it is that its not relevant to them now but if it got to be relevant you bet id catch them up like if someone showed up here that was from my time and might be a threat id tell them everything i know but if not do they really want to hear about how everything they fought for failed and there was darkness for a whole generation i wouldnt want to hear about that if it was me but that brings up a good point you cant change the past but for them its their future this is why timelines are confusing

yeah that shit is like all way above my paygrade i don't know how it works i guess if someone could tell me that everything i'd worked for goes to shit in the future i'd like still want to know because maybe there's something i could do to make it better so it wouldn't all fall apart but i don't know it's weird and complicated and i don't get it either

do you think it would help i mean they say you dont remember this place when you leave but i guess we cant really tell if thats true can we its hard to tell

i guess the question is if there is even a chance it might help is it your duty to try because okay if you tell people stuff and nothing comes of it you just wasted everyone's time a little but there's plenty of time here but if you did tell and they did remember would it maybe make stuff better

yeah

yeah its not like im wasting valuable time we sure have a lot of it

ill think about it anyway

ok do your best

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forcesensitive - 2016-06-13 14:27 (UTC) - Expand

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