(no subject)

[theboogieman]

Who: Zhas
Broadcast: Video
Action: N/A
When: Nebulous now-time

-----

[for once, Zhas is not wearing a full face of skull makeup.

so for all intents and purposes, this looks like a video feed of a pretty normal guy propping up his communicator on something so that he doesn't have to hold it. as he steps back, his eyes go a little glowy in the dim light of the Red Fish's cargo bay--but that's not the focus, here.

his expression stays blank, but he brings his hands up to sign, in very clear ASL:] 'Who understands sign language?'

Comments

video.

[paraclete]

[If Kaworu weren't naturally so pale, his blanching would be noticeable. But since he is chalk-white, his unease shows instead in the momentarily tight line of his mouth, the bit of a wrinkle between his eyebrows. He doesn't like what he sees Zhas say.]

I did not know about leaving and returning.

[His thoughts are too uncomfortable to leave him with any focus for signing creatively: this time, the sentence is just spelled again.]

video.

[theboogieman]

[if he wanted connection, here it is. this has been bothering him since his arrival on the Marsiva, and maybe even before that.]

It is confusing... [his fingers trail off, until he decides to show him the sign for it. "the one he picks is a good word to know, and he mouths it even though no sound comes out.]

I was looking-- [pretty easy, pointing from his eyes to elsewhere in space.] --for other people who have left and returned. There is something I cannot remember.

[after spelling "remember", he just taps his temple. there was another sign for it, once, but he and Coil wound up shortening it a long time ago. his expression has barely changed over the course of this whole conversation, but here his eyes narrow in thought, and his frown deepens again.]

video.

[paraclete]

I knew that people leave... [He trails off, here, hands idling, not even a "but" to help the pause a long. It draws out, and his eyes glance away from the screen for a moment while something close to a grimace creeps onto his face.

Then, with his attention back on Zhas, he spells: ] So it can alter what you remember. [This pause is only the length of a heartbeat, before he touches his own temple in imitation. He lowers his eyes once more, and hums out loud — hmmm, most likely for his own benefit, more force of habit than an actual contribution to the conversation — before bringing his uneasy stare back to the camera.] Are you all right?

video.

[theboogieman]

[he doesn't want to believe that what he experienced was just a fleeting dream, because all of his work with the supernatural and the paranormal have taught him better than that. but the thought of his memories being tampered with isn't a soothing alternative.

and unlike most people, he was never conditioned to reply with an automatic "yes" to things like "how are you" and "are you okay". he's silent for seconds too long, eyes aimed at the ground, genuinely searching for an answer within his own murky depths.

'are you all right?' of course he isn't. he feels like screaming.

finally looking up again, he shakes his head and spells out steadily:] I am angry.

video.

[paraclete]

[It's scary. Kaworu thinks so — he doesn't feel that way about a whole lot, but it's scary, the idea of meddling with a mind, destroying memory and maybe more... And what of Zhas' capacity for choice? Has that been affected? Kaworu's core temperature feels like it's dropping, although he never otherwise cares about the cold. Zhas isn't the only person Kaworu knows who's had his memories betrayed; but that almost makes it worse. The other instance Kaworu knows of this was undoubtedly nefarious. It's not easy to try and put it in a positive light.

When Kaworu nods at Zhas to show his understanding, those deep red eyes of his are heavy with a very genuine sympathy. His hands are raised, poised in the air to say something, but he doesn't seem to know which words to use. Shinji had told him, "You know everything." Kaworu thinks about that a lot. He thinks about it all the time, because all he knows is a fraction of what there is, of what he could say...

Finally, he goes with a little more honesty than he usually reveals.] I am angry for you. [He uses the signs for 'I', for 'you', but 'angry' is spelled out, crystal clear in its lettering. If he really is angry, he looks awfully solemn for it.]

video.

[theboogieman]

[he is scared too, even if he doesn't recognize it yet. anger is a secondary emotion, after all--an instinctual defense against feeling hurt.

he trusts Kaworu's hands more than his face (he's always been better at reading body language than facial expressions--maybe that's why he took so well to signing), and so believes that the boy really is angry on his behalf. and that is... a very encouraging thought, in a strange way that neither stirs up nor settles the howling in his chest.

what he does know is that validation is hard to find--so with another small nod, he touches his chin and pulls his flat hand away. "thank you", at least in American sign.]