driftfleet | (no subject)

[his brows furrow when he catches her staring, but he welcomes the kiss and returns it, just as soft. His exhaustion is bone deep, the kind he hasn't felt in months, not with the threat of competitions and lives being put on the line long behind him. In an odd way those experiences prepared him better for this than their own world, because he doesn't think he would've handled everything as well as he did.

Of course, having Raven here as well helped a great deal. Far more than she realizes.

He makes a noise and smiles a bit, lopsided] I know better than to argue that again.

[he has a feeling that he'd be too tired to react properly; hell, someone could wander this way right now and see them both piled on the floor and he wouldn't care]

I know you do. [how could he not? But he frowns a little and leans forward to kiss her forehead]

You don't have to be, not here. Remember - I promised it was safe here? I meant that.

[ Hank might never truly understand just how important he is to her, but she thinks that might be okay. He must know, by now, how important he is to so many people - Charles, Erik, the kids that she's sure were at the school, Alex, too, and Sean before the worst happened - and what kind of influence he's had on their little world. There's something incredible about people like Hank, and Raven thinks, absently, that she wishes she was a little more like him, a little more understanding.

Life might be a bit easier if she was more like Hank and less like Erik.

Still, she shakes her head, tilting herself up so she can hook her chin over Hank's shoulder, resting against him gently and doing her best not to let on the fact that she's still trying to come down from the high of anger and despair that had claimed her and exhausted her so quickly.

They're together. All four of them. That's what counts.

At least she can smile, closing her eyes. ]

I know. That doesn't mean my brain can accept it just like that.

[ She's just too used to being on edge; she wonders if it'll ever really go away. ]

When they're resting I think we'll be able to rest too.

[it isn't so much understanding as he doesn't think his impact on anything is that great. And honestly, he would never be able to think himself so important - hell, he doesn't even go by "doctor" or anything like that, always preferring to just be Hank and nothing else. Years of the way he was raised back home is responsible for that, and it's not something he'll change anytime soon.

Not that he minds. As long as he's doing something for those he cares about, he doesn't want nor need the recognition.

She rests against him and he rubs her back, slow, soothing up and down motions because they're both stressed and tired, both coming down from all the emotions that ran through them when they saw the state Erik and Charles were in. Even now, it wouldn't be all that hard to get fired up about it all again.

He shifts just a little so he's leaning more against the wall and sighs out, slow]

I know. [he wishes he could prove it was safe somehow, but this is still better than nothing. She was still resting, in a sense]

I still have to put a cast on Erik and then we have to get them into our room so they can get some real rest. [either that or he'll just shove the cots together for them. He didn't want to think about their relationship sometimes, but that didn't mean he wasn't considerate of it, either]

If it's too hard for them to move then we can adjust the beds and shove some things together. I know if the roles were reversed I wouldn't want to be too far away from you at a time like this.

[ Though, she doesn't want to imagine their roles being in reverse. All four of them could take care of themselves, of course, could defend themselves and one another, but the idea of there being more pain, or of someone going out of their way to hurt Hank... It made her blood boil. These people were the only people she had in the world, the only people she would ever be able to admit to loving, and Raven would never let anyone get away with hurting them. If that meant she had to rise up and risk herself to do it then she would - she would do anything to keep them safe.

It's obvious, she thinks, too, that she's been coming to terms with what Charles and Erik share. It might not have made sense to her before now, but with hindsight and with more knowledge given to her from Erik and his soft words... She can accept it. It's not even a matter or her liking it or not liking it, because it's not that simple; love never is, considering how silly and complex it can be, and the fact that she's sprawled across Hank the way she is right now is proof of that. If someone had told her a handful of months ago that she would have been given the chance to tell him she loved him...

Well, she would have laughed in their faces.

Now she can make a soft noise, turning her head and leaning close, just enjoying the touch to her back and the warmth of her boyfriend, feeling at peace and oddly happy, content and freed despite her warring emotions. ]

I'm sure we can find some tea for Charles somewhere too. He'd appreciate it.

[he can't help but smile a little] I was thinking the same thing. Ah - pushing the cots together, not - the other part. But I wouldn't want to be far from you either.

[that might even be the better option, and they can work at making it as comfortable as possible. He didn't like the idea of moving them so soon anyway, not when they were born worn down from their fights and injuries. And keeping them in the lab would be convenient for all of them, too. He'd have to ask them how they felt, though - not everyone liked sleeping in a lab like Hank did.

He's resolutely not thinking about their positions being reversed, though. Not with anger and everything else ebbing away. Later, likely when he's by himself, it'll all come flooding back and he'll find a way to take it out on something, but for now, it's fine being shoved deep down, where it won't overtake him.

He makes a noise of agreement, smile widening] I think we still have some. And Erik would appreciate it too, I think.

I can bring the pillows from my room here, too, if they decide to sleep in the lab. Otherwise they can have mine and I'll sleep on you.

[ As it is, right now, she has bracketed Charles with a handful of pillows to try and make things feel a bit easier for him, and she's loathe to take those away. If anything she wants to smother him in pillows and blankets and duvets so that he feels safe and protected even if she and Hank are down the hall, out of sight (though not entirely out of mind in his case). The lab wasn't the most comfortable place in the world, true, but she had grown quite fond of it after the nights she had spent there sleeping alongside Hank, and she thinks that Charles and Erik would like it since they could be together.

Both of them, her and Hank, are moving forward and trying to ignore their pain, even if it settles around them and aches a little. It's going to come back and Raven is sure she'll end up breaking again - hell, Hank might too, since he had been strong for her - but they'd help each other. They'd push their shattered pieces back together and they would make it work, because they loved each other and cared about each other and wouldn't let anyone ruin that.

Humming against his neck, Raven considers. ] If only there was some decent food I could steal for them.

You say that as if you don't already sleep on me. [he makes an amused noise] We'll make them comfortable.

[honestly, if it was possible to drag one of the mattresses into the lab, he'd do that too. He might even consider it later, knowing full well neither of them will want to be far from the lab if that's where they end up staying. He can bother with the specifics later, once the other two decide where they want to go, and what else can be done to make this all as easy for them as possible.

He hums thoughtfully, one hand trailing up her back to tangle in her hair, running his fingers through it] I don't think there is. Kate's pretty good with what's available, though. They'll both need to eat something eventually.

You make a very handsome pillow, Hank. [ She shakes her head, closing her eyes and leaning against him for a moment, basking. ] Though I don't think Erik would necessarily agree with me.

[ Raven knows they'd both do anything they could to make Charles and Erik a little more comfortable, and it's amazing and frightening all at once. She was still finding her place again, after all, but the familiar devotion comes back to her as easily as it had left - and it is scary. It's scary how much they mean to her, as her friends, her family, the people she loves, and coming close to losing them, even if they were never close to dying - that terrifies her.

She's lost quite enough already; she's going to fight for this for the rest of her life.

At least Hank's touch is soothing and gentle and Raven feels a little catlike as she leans into it, making a little fond noise before she breathes out. ] I'm very good at making Charles eat. You should have seen him when he was writing his thesis.

Please don't bring Erik into this when we're talking about me being a pillow.

[just . . . no.

He still has concerns and worries, both as a doctor and because he worries regardless, but it's easy enough to push them aside and focus more on Raven, focus on better things like what they were going to do for Erik and Charles, or just helping her calm down and relax. It was better than letting himself dwell on things, especially when he was planning on doing all of that later, when he had his own bit of privacy to air out the feelings that just won't go away with talking.

He laughs a bit, a faint huff of noise] I can imagine. Especially considering I don't think I even slept while writing mine.

I suppose neither of you would appreciate the situation.

[ At least they're able to laugh now, which means something. Not too long ago Raven was sure she was going to break, was absolutely certain that she was going to end up losing her mind, and somehow she had been brought back. Somehow, Hank had wrapped himself around her and saved her from the disaster of her own mind - at least for now. It was all on pause and she felt better about it, felt calmer, and she could breathe. It might not ever all be okay, it might never all be better, but at least they were getting there. At least they were proving their strength, on becoming something that no one could take down.

Shaking her head, she leans back and presses a careful little kiss against the tip of his nose. ]

I hope you know I'll never let anything like that happen again.

It would be incredibly awkward and we'd bicker the whole time.

[and, after a considering pause] We had to share a blanket once.

[it had been for a quest, if he remembers correctly, right in the middle of Charles' terrible quest. He won't mention those details, of course - not his place, and he was trying to keep everything lighter, now. Silly mentions like that were fair game.

He wrinkles his nose at the kiss, then huffs out a noise, lips quirking]

What, a thesis? I had no plans on writing another one.

Really? How did that go?

[ Raven doesn't press for too many details - a lot of the time that the three of them spent together in the other world wasn't exactly pleasant, and she knows that. She knows that it isn't good, or safe, and it's not something any of them want to talk about (even if Erik pushed her to ask question after question that would near enough break her heart) but all the tidbits she learns are enough for her, at least for now. She doesn't want to ask for too much.

Instead, she draws herself closer, kissing him gently, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead against Hank's.

Caring hurts, she knows, and caring for Hank - it's a good kind of hurt, one that makes her feel a little bit alive, and she has to breathe in and breathe out to make sure she doesn't lose herself in it. ]

No, staying up for hours and hours. I get lonely, you know.

It wasn't too bad. It was for a quest he was doing - and it was only five minutes.

[if she wanted him to, he'd tell her all the details she wanted to hear - and all the details he thought he could tell her. Of the three, he had the easiest time, especially considering he hadn't gone to the world before Kyriakos. All of his experiences had been there. It hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows, though, and the parallels he was making earlier spring back to mind, the terrible games in which he came out feeling helpless and on the urge of breaking, only to shove it aside for everyone else.

He'd fine-tuned that particular "skill" there; he'd had no choice.

Huffing a little, he shuts his eyes and tightens his arms a little around her]

You've been making sure I don't do that.

Five minutes is tolerable, then.

[ There's no need to push for more right now - it's the same as it was with Charles, she thinks. She knew where he was talking about, what place would have urged him to share something with Erik, and now isn't the time. Raven knows that both of them - all three of them, really - would tell her things once she asked, but right now... None of them could shoulder it. Right now they needed to relax, to give themselves a few moments to actually come to terms with what's happened today, and thinking about the cruelties of their history wouldn't help them at all. It would just exhaust them more, and Raven wants to avoid that for as long as possible.

Instead, she focusses on touching him, leaning into his embrace and feeling the tightness of his arms, basking in it without hesitation.

This is where she's meant to be, she thinks, quietly to herself. Here, with her boys, with her boyfriend and her brother and her friend, helping them, supporting them, loving them. There's nowhere else she would ever want to be, and she's sure of it.

Smile soft, she kisses him again, unable to resist. ]

Someone has to take care of you, you know.

Mm, we talked the whole time. [dryly] It was warm.

[it's probably for the best, to leave it for a time where they weren't already so worn down. Where he could be ready to comfort her if she got upset, and not get as upset himself. With Kyriakos came both good and bad memories, and the good ones hurt in a bittersweet sort of way - he didn't miss the place and never would, but the people? Especially two girls who he considered family? Talking about them made his heart ache and reminded him that he still had to find a way back, to get them out. Either that or find a way to the one's world to rescue her from an apocalyptic backdrop. Even thinking about them makes him ache, and he has to faintly shake his head to clear his mind.

He rests his head against hers and makes a faint noise, amused but trying not to be. She did take care of him, more than he was used to. Back home, he was scolded now and then for falling asleep in the lab but for the most part, he was left to all of his bad habits]

Is that part of the girlfriend agreement too?

It must have been a magical moment for the both of you.

[ It's easier to tease than it is to ask questions, to push and prod at sore wounds she's not sure about. It's bad enough with Charles where they're prone to bicker and argue a little more than most, given their tangled and messed up history, but it feels like cruelty to do it to Hank, to say something or suggest something that might end up reminding him of something he would rather forget. It's not as if she's being careful, not really, but she is watching her words, waiting for the right time to ask about it all, to discover everything that happened.

Besides, there are some things she thinks she doesn't want to know the answers to.

They're pressed close together right now and, of course, there's not much she enjoys more on the Atroma. She could spend her days curled up with Hank, just talking to him, being around him, and she would be happy to do it - she is happy, being in his arms and feeling him around her, basking in having him at her side. ]

It is. It's the boyfriend agreement too, just in case I need to be taken care of.

[ Which won't happen, considering she never admits her problems, but still. ]

Something like that.

[it had been before they'd remember most of the drama in their world, Cuba barely even mentioned. It had worked in their favor, of course; if Hank had remembered things differently, he doubts he would be looking at Erik the same way he did now - as a friend and ally, as opposed to however he viewed him before that. Hell, even his views on Charles changed. He certainly didn't miss the place, but the simplicity of some of it - their world's worries distant and as faded as their memories . . . he did miss that. It didn't make it easier, not when the realm they were in was dangerous on a weekly basis, but -

He stops the thought there. One day, he could explain that much to her. When she was ready and finally asked, and he was ready to sit down and tell her. On her terms, not his, because if she was waiting for him she'd be waiting a long time. If only because he knew how much of it would upset her.

So instead he focuses on her leaning against him, the way her hair tickles his cheek and he sighs out, exhausted but content. For now]

I don't need an agreement to do that. I've been doing it.

[he doesn't need her to speak up for him to realize when something's wrong, after all]

[ I've been doing it - and she knows he has.

The thing is that, more often than not, Raven knows she doesn't quite realise when someone is taking care of her. It's little things that go unnoticed, like the things she realised once she was away from Charles. He used to make sure she had breakfast in the morning, and he would make sure they always spoke before bed, especially if they were angry. He would never really argue when she needed to drape on him and he abandoned so many nights out and chances with particular dates because she wanted to go or because she was upset. He did dozens of things that made her feel special and when it was gone... She realised that she had taken advantage of his love for her, sometimes.

She doesn't want that to happen with Hank.

Careful, she tilts her head up and brushes their mouths together again, her fingers stroking over his cheek, thumb pressing into the corner of his mouth where his smile would curve before she tilts her head back and breathes out. When she opens her eyes again her expression is soft, and vulnerable, and she doesn't want to think about what it means because she's already admitted so much - too much. ]

I know. [ She would make a joke about not being blind, but - ] And it's - it means a lot to me, Hank.

[he might not be good when it comes to words, to expressing how he feels without flustering or getting too upset, but he knows how to take care of people. Charles back home, and to an extent both him and Erik in Kyriakos, as well as his team. Sure, it wore him down and stressed him out, but that was his choice. He didn't have to, but he wanted to. Because there was so much he couldn't do that he was left with that, taking care of the people who mattered to him. And he just never stopped - there was no reason to, even if when it came to certain people, it changed when he got home.

No one could take that away, and no one could stop it. It was something that didn't require all the things he was bad at, and even if it was just making sure they knew he would, that was enough. Just like Charles, like Erik, like Raven, family was incredibly important to him.

You can't take advantage of something when he gives it so freely.

They've both admitted things and his eyes search her expression, head tilting just a little into her hand. They've both said the words but even then it wasn't enough, and he wonders if she realizes that. He does, sometimes. Like now, as he watches her with such an open expression it makes him warm all over]

I know. I'll always take care of you.

[even if this didn't work out, even if she left and never came back, that wouldn't change. She was as much his family as any of the others, and he'd take care of her no matter what]

Hank.

[ Sometimes, more often than not, really, she wonders how she came to deserve him. There's no way she would ever be good enough for someone like Hank, someone as kind and generous and sweet, and she feels out of place, as if she's trying to earn the relationship they've embarked on together. She knows, really, that's not how it works, not at all, and she feels ridiculous for thinking it, because it's not how it's meant to be. She shouldn't feel indebted to Hank because he cares about her, because he loves her, but she still cherishes it a little more than perhaps she ought to - still gives herself over to it a little more than she should have, because it feels like it's too good to be true.

Leaning up, she wraps an arm around his neck and kisses him, slowly and gently, not intending for it to go anywhere. It's just a kiss, but she offers herself freely, without hesitation, drawing him against her body and pushing her own close. There's nothing more to it than what it is - a kiss, plain and simple, her eyes closing as she basks in being this close, and when she draws back she knows there's something soft and gentle in her expression, speaking in silence what she has already given him aloud; proof of her love for him, something she can't take back and doesn't want to.

Pressing her forehead against his, Raven breathes out, soft and uncertain for a moment. ]

Thank you.

[ What else can she say? Always is a long, long time, and even if it isn't forever it still means something to her, the Raven that has been alone for so long and afraid for longer, really. ]

[he feels the same way, honestly, like he doesn't deserve her and yet here she is, close enough that he can say these silly little earnest things to her. That he can make up for ten years of nothing and a fateful night one moment at a time, show her he cares, that he loves her in so many ways that those three little words, despite hearing them minutes ago, aren't really necessary. It felt too good to be true when they first met - Raven was beautiful and he was this nerdy little scientist, and he could never understand what she saw in him, even with their shared feelings on their mutation, and even now he sometimes falls back on that. How could this brave, strong woman who saved the president ever feel the way she does for him, a man who hid away for years because he could no longer stand the world? She could have anyone she wants, he thinks, and yet she's chosen him again.

They're both too tired for the kiss to be anything more than that but he returns it just as gently, fingers tangling again in her hair. For all that the day has stressed them out, for all that they've stood everything thrown at them, he knows they both needed this. This quiet moment to find themselves again, to depend on each other to strengthen themselves before they head back in there and are reminded of what happened.

He doesn't say anything, he just lifts his free hand to push some hair out of her face and press a kiss to her forehead]