video | sponsored video | everyone please be careful don't become me

[collegedropout]

Who: Sam and you.
Broadcast: Encrypted to everyone Fleetwide
Action: Red Fish
When: Today

[Sam has been the busiest little bee in all the land. After getting Katie to heal his injuries (oh so begrudgingly, but he really, really needs his writing hand for his work), he went straight to work trying to dig through every faucet of the network. Anyone who's been around him on the Red Fish or the Iskaulit will find him nose-deep in the comm, barely paying much attention, working at his station for the comms. Communications is a pretty useful augment, now that he's thinking about it.

And after what's been happening... the de-aging, the malfunctions, the Winter glitch... He's got to risk it and play a little catch-up.

He starts up a connection, encrypted as best he can to the ship rosters currently on board. He figures they might see it anyway, but it never hurts to be thorough. Someone who looks tired and like he's been living off coffee he bought off the moon -- busy bee, alright, the network is a very vast and annoying thing.]

[Video.]

Well, I haven't found anything yet, but I'm kind of working on navigating the deeper, older parts of the communications devices you got here. It keeps record pretty far back -- and it's got a lot of media connected to a lot of people here. But knowing you guys, I'm sure you found the, uh, weird music and television they have from your worlds.

This crap is way more complicated than an FBI database or a credit card company's files, I'll tell you that much. But I think with a little work and a lotta caffeine, maybe I can get into more stuff; it seems like lately, there's been more augment malfunctions. Now, I know it's possible some of it is accidental, but I'm thinking maybe this is for some kind of, I don't know, boost in--

[He stops mid-word, his expression twitching, and then goes oddly still for a few moments.

And then suddenly he speaks again...

WITH ENTHUSIASM!!!!!!! AND THERE IS A MELODY PLAYING ALL AROUND HIM. A JINGLE JANGLE ONE WOULD FIND IN A COMMERCIAL. ARE YOU READY GUYS? HE PUTS HIS HANDS ON HIS HIPS, ABRUPTLY STEPFORD WIDE STATUS, A SMILE PLASTERED ON HIS FACE.]

Hey, guys! This is Sam Winchester, one of your favorites from the good ol' Drift Fleet - sponsored by the Atroma, the best in televised drama and innovation.

Now, what do I like more than a daily dose of our regularly scheduled program? Should be an easy enough answer, and it sure isn't hunting wendigos or fighting angels and demons.

[Sam's face:



Are you even surprised?

Also --

LAUGH TRACK]

It's your favorite new line of television dinners, based off our hit series! Don't like what your significant other made you for second dinner? Have no fear -- while you're enjoying your favorite brand of cereal in the morning, you can take a look at our galaxies-famous meal; just add water, and you'll be all set! Whether it's the Pirate Potluck or the Hunter Helper, we've got you covered. Check out the Marvelous Hero Platter for your chance to win a free trip to --

[Sam slaps himself hard on the face, panting tiredly.]

What the fu--

[AND HE'S BACK TO STANDING STRAIGHT AND PROUD.]

-- just remember, we're here for you 24/7, ready to listen in.

CALL NOW AND SAVE ON OUR BUNDLE PACKS.

And maybe get yourself a free autograph from yours truly.

Just remember, when it comes to Drift Fleet's name-brand dinners...



[LAUGH TRACK.

SMILE SMILE SMILE

... t-twitch]

((ooc: Sam will have a (potentially 1-2 week) glitch where he may burst out into infomercial mode for the atroma randomly. he also is incapable of saying anything but positive things to his fellow drift fleeters about the atroma and the drift fleet show. see, it's nice, because instead of getting winter's rampage pt. 2, he's going to kill you with creepy infomercial vibes. LMFAO SORRY.))

Comments

Video

[save_the_souls]

- AH!

[Allen was watching to see if this guy had figured out anything about the files. But when he started doing that? It was enough to make him yell in surprise and drop his communicator]

W-What was that?!

Video

[collegedropout]

[Hmm? Oh, he was just tidying up the table. Damn, he was making a mess.]

What was what?

Video

[save_the_souls]

That-!

You started- was that an ad?

[goldenglasses]

[He shouldn't laugh. He shouldn't laugh. This is very serious. Complete and utter breach of someone's very being. It should not be tolerated. It's deplorable. Completely and utterly inexcusable. He will not laugh. There is nothing funny about this in the slightest. This is absolutely terrible and-and-and-and-

Oh God. He can't stop it.]

Snort!

[collegedropout]

[He huffs.]

Glad you enjoyed. Too bad we can't buy our own dinner packs, huh?

Sounds better than the stuff we have on board -- [twitch] But I mean, all that's pretty great, too! I've kind of got too used to it, wouldn't want anything else.

video;

[angelherding]

[oh whatever Sam is talking nerdy stuff on the network—what. What is this. What are you doing.

...........................]

Billy Mays, is that you? [wait no even she knows Billy Mays is better than this]

What the fuck, Sam.

video;

[collegedropout]

Dude, language. Save it for the nighttime audiences.

Kids could be watching.

[oh my god

meg run]

text.

[paraclete]

[?????]

Dinner does sound nicer than those other things.

text.

[collegedropout]

It does sound pretty great, doesn't it.

Maybe if we do well enough, the Atroma'll send us some samples or something.

Keywords

[namisan]

[







There are no words.]

[collegedropout]

[God he's got such a plastic smile right now.]

What's with the look? I'm not even injured or causing trouble today.

video;

[universal_charm]

_{[ There's a lot of staring Sam. A lot. ]}

Right, I'm going to take that as a signal of how Atroma feels on the subject or... you're glitching.

_{[ Which may be purposefully because Atroma. ]}

video;

[collegedropout]

No way, dude. I feel fine.

The Atroma have been nothing but good to us anyway; I don't see where the sass comes from.

video

[interstices]

...

So what does the Hunter Helper taste like?

video

[collegedropout]

... I kinda really wanna know.

I hope not something... monster-y. I mean, I'm sure they'd never do that.

[BECAUSE THE ATROMA IS SO SUPER GREAT]

Maybe they've got gun-shaped nuggets and cookies with sigils on them or something.

video

[experiencepoints]

... I remember this effect. Need me to knock you out until it's over?

video

[collegedropout]

Effect? Don't know what you're talking about. I feel -- pretty great, actually.

What reason is there to complain? I've got all my means of living covered, and I get paid for it.

Video

[onlyanapple]

...Are you high?

[He knows it's probably a glitch but he feels it needs asking all the same. ]

Video

[collegedropout]

... Are you implying we have the potential for that around here?

I mean, we have meds, but...

[wait a darn minute here]

Not that I would; last time was college, and it was one time.

text;

[feathery]

holy shit
that is
definitely not what i was expecting
is this an infomercial channel now

text;

[collegedropout]

What, no way.

Infomercials are way more boring... Except maybe the one for snuggies? Because I got to admit, it's pretty funny looking.

action bc duh

[kickingand]

[ Oh, he is so over everything right now. Monumentally so. Granted, he never really stopped being over everything but that's not entirely the point. He's just over it, tired of being forced to find words to things he can't forgive or explain or undo. Cas, being here, being unable to cope with too many things at once and now this? This... whatever it is Sam is doing? Because really, what else is there to explain what this is apart from mind control, the obvious explanation to which is what has been shoved into their brains.

So excuse Dean if he waltzes on by to start rifling through the kitchen. Sharp objects, here he comes. ]

getting so much action

[collegedropout]

[....... And excuse Sam as he... wanders over to see what Dean is up to.

He squints. Umm.]

What's up?

[What's with the weird and sudden focus, Dean, bro.]

[c0nsequences]

I am confused. Does this constitute an appropriate use of your ship's communication systems?

[collegedropout]

... Sure? Why wouldn't it be?