03 - video

[winn]

Who: Winn Schott, Cisco Ramon, and you!
Broadcast: yes!
Action: Iskaulit
When: now!

[ Today, Winn's broadcast comes live -- from in front of a door. it's a plain door, one of the Iskaulit's, as it happens - and on it is a plaque reading 'Discovery 1'. He clears his throat and offers the camera a little wave ]

Greetings, fellow Fleeters! Did -- we decide on Fleeters? [ He mimes at someone off screen, frowning at whatever reply he gets ]

Drifters, we said - Drifters. Drifting in Spacer. Oh! Wait for it - wait for it - Realitynauts. You know because we’re reality show starts and astro - never mind.

[ Cisco Ramon’s face, no longer a girl, is shoved inside the frame. He is clearly talking while eating some version of space sandwich ]

Is this thing recording? Hi guys.

[ Winn scrunches his nose at the terms ] Dude, ‘Drifters’ makes us sound like a New Age boyband. [ He shakes his head and looks back at the camera - oh yeah, it’s rolling. ] You’d think I’d learn to rehearse first by now -- hi, whatever we call ourselves! If you’re new, that’s Cisco, I’m Winn, and we are proud to finally open the Iskaulit’s brand new lecture hall for business!

[ Hold on hold on he prepared for this - he pulls a party popper out of his pocket, and pops it at the camera!! Colorful confetti everywhere! ]

Dude my hair - anyway, we will be adding a document of the lectures to come and we want to remind a few unruly members of the Realitynauts - I’m looking at you Hank - to give us the titles for your lectures. Pronto. ASAP or I’ll be forced to tell awkward stories about you to the whole network even if they’re not true!

You really have a fixation on ~nauts, you know that? [ It never sounds good. Ever. Especially now, when he’s bringing it up. Why did he bring it up? He’s regretting all his life choices. ]

Anyway yeah, hurry up and tell us what you’re talking about, and if you weren’t around for it last time and wanna sign up you’re always welcome to, just hit up either Cisco or myself, and we’ll work it out! Lectures are gonna be Every Thursday at 8 PM, because of a very scientific selection process - but if our kindly lecturers are up for it - we were hoping people working on series will continue them on a day and time of their choosing so people don’t have to wait too long between installments. Admittance is first come first serve, but don’t worry - everything is gonna be filmed and uploaded for you!

Oh my God, do you get the paradox of us filming ourselves while we’re already being filmed by tacky aliens? It’ll break your brain if you try to figure it out. Anyway, to more important business.

[ Have a line face, network ]

It has come to my attention that different people here on the fleet are trying to convince others in various, unholy ways that their world makes the best pizza. Which is a crime since everyone knows Central City has the best pizza of the entire multiverse.

No one knows that because it’s a dirty heinous lie - National City pride!! [ Winn pumps a fist in the air; completely invested in this fight. If you’ve never met him, you might think he really is treating it like a life-or-death issue. ]

As you can see, this disagreement risks friendships and lives and so we have decided to solve this once and for all. Since we can’t actually have any world’s version of pizza here because space sucks, we are going to do battle, the winner will win everlasting honor for his city as the city where the best pizza of the multiverse can be found. And since we’re nerds we have decided the battle shall be based on -

[ wait for it ]

Song. Yes, you heard it! We are going head to head in the ultimate karaokebowl! Winn. Show them the machine.

[ Winn pulls what appears to be a small screen on a tripod into the camera’s view. Holding it in one hand, he gestures towards the various parts of it as he speaks in a Shopping Network voice. ] This is a state-of-the-art Winsco original Sound Weaver 9001 [ Because of course it had to be OVER 9000!!!! ] with a sound quality you have to hear to believe! Easy to connect to with all your network communicators or bluetooth devices!

The perfect war machine of our ultimate-once-in-a-lifetime-karaokebowl in the name of Pizza, the Flash and heroics. And just to give you a little example of what’s going to happen, me and Winn the Traitor here are going to do the first round using a song we found on the comms which is only the most please-get-out-of-my-head song. So, karaokebowl first round, Cisco Ramon representing Team Flash and Central City against -

[ Winn unzips his hoodie to reveal his custom made t-shirt underneath ] Winn Schott, representing Team Supergirl and National City!

[ Hitting the play button, the music starts playing ]

[ enjoy, Space, as you view the surprisingly-good-voice-wise-but-otherwise-absurd karaoke version of Let it Go by these two morons, complete with Cisco untying his hair dramatically in the middle. When it ends and just before the feed ends too, he will lean close to the camera ]

Pause for applause - other pretenders to the throne of the best pizza of the mutltiverse, you have been challenged!

[ Winn points to his eyes - and then points to the camera before ending the feed. As promised, the broadcast has a text attachment at the bottom with the lecture schedule:

2016: A Space-Time Odyssey Lecture Schedule

1. Loki - The Golden Skein - the science of magic
2. Tyrion Lannister - Follow up lecture on Westeros (1 of 2)
3. Beverly Crusher - Adjusting to Life in Space (1st in a series of medicine related lectures)
4. Maglor - a Concert
5. Winn Schott - Byte me: the Digital Age Unveiled
6. Jim Kirk - Self Defense (1st in a series)
7. Cisco Ramon - The Amazing, Awesome, Absolutely Terrifying Physics of the Multiverse
8. Hermione Granger - Home World/ Life in Another Pocket Dimension/ Magic
9. Kara Danvers - A Brief History of Earth Feminism
10. Hank McCoy - genetics
11. Kitty Pryde - Genocide (Spoiler alert: It's bad)
12. Charles Xavier - TBD - offering history, biology, chemistry, genetics, English literature - cast your vote maybe he’ll make a decision!
* Online Only Lecture - nightingale - what you need to know about the fleet - Unbound to schedule ]

Comments

[ladybro]

My battles are your battles. [ low blow!! okay, she's (mostly) teasing. because she doesn't want to sing either. ]

[uprightness]

So it's a duet now?

[ smiling. look, if you're roping him into this, you're going too ]

[ladybro]

[ wow, cap. you weren't supposed to call her on her bluff.

WITH EXTREME TREPIDATION: ] Y-yes?

[uprightness]

I don't know many songs.

[ smiling. your face right now, hawkeye. ]

But if it's our fight, then it's our fight.

[ladybro]

[ you sweet precious man, too kind and obliging for this or any world. ]

-- For New York, right? [ ... ] For Brooklyn and Manhattan.

[ she's from the nice side of the train tracks, sorry. ]

[uprightness]

-- You're from Manhattan?

[ look at this uptown girl ]

For Brooklyn and Manhattan, yes.

[ladybro]

Born and raised. [ with about three different silver spoons in her mouth, but that's neither here nor there. ]

I don't care much for modern music. What's something you like? Something classy.

[uprightness]

[ he might look more than a little loss. Classy is really not his forte, it's entirely Peggy's but asking her would mean he would have to explain and how do you even begin to explain a singing competition?

alright. you can do this, Rogers. ]

Sinatra?

[ladybro]

And Fitzgerald. [ her smile is lop-sided. ] The Lady is a Tramp?

[ finally someone with good taste in music. anything published in her own lifetime is such trash, in her mind. ] ]

[uprightness]

I know that one.

[ it's a good one. if you're capable that is. ]

I hope you realize it means we have to win.

[ HE IS NOT GOING THROUGH WITH THIS TO LOSE. ]

[ladybro]

Did you hear them? Their taste in music is crap, but their pitch is good. [ ... ] Can you sing?

[uprightness]

I can tell you in all certainty that I've never tried.

[ the need just never came up in between the war, loki and ultron. ]

[ladybro]

We're boned.

[uprightness]

Well, we can't forfeit. I guess I've faced tougher odds. You did too.

[ we're Avengers, Kate, we got this. kinda, maybe. ]

[ladybro]

[ kate considers herself a sub-par singer. but then again, she's comparing herself to the vocal soloists she's accompanied with her cello. in truth, she's good a good sense of pitch. she knows notes. she understands music.

but against these two, that might not be enough.

even so: ] Oh, we're so not forfeiting. It's not every day you get to go shoulder-to-shoulder with Captain America.

[uprightness]

You'll have to teach me. Do you remember all the words?

[ he can recall some of them but certainly not all of them ]

Do you think they'll make do this publicly?

[ may god help them. ]

[ladybro]

Why? [ ... ] Suffer from stage fright?

[ she doesn't want to do this any more than you do, cap. but at least she isn't easily embarrassed. ]

[uprightness]

it's been a while.

[ a small smile ]

They'd write the words for me back then.

[ladybro]

Alright, alright. I'll make sure you have a cheat sheet.

[uprightness]

Thank you.

[ if he's going to get dragged into this, he might as well get the words right ]

...I admit when I thought of fighting side by side with you for the sake of our world, I didn't imagine it'd involve music.

[ladybro]

Look at it this way: there's likely going to be far less collateral damage.