Not like that it's not. I can feel how relentless it was.
[She doesn't want to compare and contrast. And she doesn't bring it up with words, but it's hard for thoughts not to bubble up of memories where she would rescue people and be spat on for being a "filthy mutie." That was almost the best scenario. It hurt more to see people just shaking in fear around her—to know she was the monster in their nightmares when she was risking her life to make the world better for them. For everyone. There were exceptions—thank yous, hugs, or even simple neutral responses from people too weak and weary for anything more. But they felt slim in comparison.
She isn't thinking this outranks what happened to Winn in any way. For her it just makes her feel more connected to him. Like they have all this potential to just better understand each other on a deeper level which is something she craves. She loves him, but sometimes things feel almost shallow? Like she doesn't know him the way she would like to know him. And it's okay. Things are still new and it takes time.]
no subject
[She doesn't want to compare and contrast. And she doesn't bring it up with words, but it's hard for thoughts not to bubble up of memories where she would rescue people and be spat on for being a "filthy mutie." That was almost the best scenario. It hurt more to see people just shaking in fear around her—to know she was the monster in their nightmares when she was risking her life to make the world better for them. For everyone. There were exceptions—thank yous, hugs, or even simple neutral responses from people too weak and weary for anything more. But they felt slim in comparison.
She isn't thinking this outranks what happened to Winn in any way. For her it just makes her feel more connected to him. Like they have all this potential to just better understand each other on a deeper level which is something she craves. She loves him, but sometimes things feel almost shallow? Like she doesn't know him the way she would like to know him. And it's okay. Things are still new and it takes time.]
You have every right to your feelings.