driftfleet | Open mingle for the First Breath

"You have babies?" She asks not in disbelief so much as surprise, then she shakes her head. "You didn't. But that explains all the cooking. I suspected you were used to preparing meals for more people than just yourself."

She falls quiet for a moment though, then adds on softly:

"You're not invisible to me."

"It's different here." His way of giving an apology, acknowledging her words, thanking her, even if he can't come out and say it quite yet.

"I have two daughters," he says. "Brinna is the elder; she's nine years, already drawn her first blood in combat." He is proud of her. "Viere is younger, only four."

Cecil isn't one to hold a grudge over something like this. She sympathizes with him, really, and she remembers some of the things that happened to her in Court that make his reaction earlier make a little more sense to her.

"Pretty names for strong, pretty girls, I'm sure," she remarks. "And you're right— things are different here. Most look at women, even those like myself, the way you are used to people looking at you."

Edited (Inappropriate icon eeeek) 2015-02-20 03:26 (UTC)

"As someone beautiful, and helpless."

He lets out a breath.

"I'm sorry I reacted that way," he says. "I didn't expect it." He's calmer, now. Whatever it was, it's gone back under the surface.

"I know," she says softly, "It's all right. No harm done."

Well, that's not entirely true; it did sting a little to be rebuked by him like that. Still, she does believe he didn't do it intentionally and she forgives him.

"You know... if you ever want to just talk to someone about it, I'll listen."

"It's the past," he says, after a long pause. "I didn't fit right. I missed my chance to be happy. That's all." He'd been honestly resigned to living the rest of his life the way he is now, unattached, earning his own money - in the name of his daughters, of course. Loving them, and making that most of who he was.

"Do you want something to eat?" he asks. "I thought I might try a new combination of flavors tonight."

She hesitates. She wants to hug him, shake him, tell him that, no, he hasn't missed his chance to be happy. Just because he doesn't have what his society's idea of happiness for him is doesn't mean he can't be happy...

But she can tell he wants to move on from the topic and so she bites down on her lower lip to stifle her disagreements and simply lets him steer the conversation away from the scars he doesn't want to talk about.

"We do have a new crewmate to welcome," she says, "I think he's going to be a picky eater, honestly."

"He doesn't eat meat," says Malak, dryly. And Malak doesn't particularly like him, though that's not something he'll come out and say. It's probably visible in his expression, though.

"What? Really?" This is obviously an unheard of practice to her. "Well... why not?"

Cecil kind of commiserates with Malak's feelings towards their newest addition. She's trying to keep an open mind about Jordan, but she's not quite sure what to think of him. His obsession with his... partner or whatever it is they've going on and how he refers to the other man simply as "his" doesn't sit well with her.

"I didn't ask," he says. It does give a convenient shortcut: if he doesn't want Jordan touching some dish, he can put it next to something with meat in it, on the same plate. "When I did ask questions, things only got worse."

She gives him a sympathetic smile, obviously understanding entirely what he means. "What did you ask?"

"About the person he refers to as 'his'." This is somewhat sour.

"Ah." She definitely knows what he means. "He's quite... possessive." She makes a bit of a face herself, uncomfortable suddenly just thinking about it all over and wondering what that could mean for all of them as people who have to live in close quarters with each other.

That sort of possessiveness can scare Malak, sometimes.

"You don't like it, either," he says.

Cecil too.

She titters a little, smiling sheepishly though that smile pretty quickly fades into a frown. "Perhaps it's none of my business what he does with people from his own world, but I... No, I can't say I'm comfortable with it. I find it... dangerous and bordering on... unhealthy, honestly."

A tight shrug. "Some people like being possessed." He sounds doubtful. "What do you mean by unhealthy?"

She presses her lips into a tight, thin line for a moment, her countenance growing surprisingly grim for someone who rarely ever looks so stern like Cecil. "Some people don't have a choice in the matter," she says, her voice low and quiet. "It isn't right. If there aren't boundaries that are set and respected, it can very easily get out of hand and be emotionally and psychologically damaging to both parties, but primarily for the possessed half of the situation.

"It isn't always an arrangement born of mutual trust and I don't want Jordan flouncing about thinking he can get away with taking advantage of people's weaknesses or just plain disregarding their wishes by claiming others as his own personal property. People are not objects to be possessed. I don't care where you're from or what it's like there. Here, that right to dignity and freedom cannot be violated."

He's genuinely impressed. What Cecil has said puts something ephemeral, something he feels without knowing why, and puts it into words, exactly. Strong words.

"I think so too," he says.

She takes a breath and shifts a little uncomfortably on the floor beside him where she's seated. "Suffice to say, I'm worried," she admits. "I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I... I know I shouldn't. I would rather we not have to deal with it, but we don't have a choice. The rest of the fleet is not much better anyway."

"We'll see what his lover prefers," says Malak. "That, I think, is the most important matter."

As desire and the lack of desire can transform an encounter from willing to unwilling.

"Hmmph," is Cecil's only reply, a noncommittal noise of acknowledgement. It's not that she doesn't agree; she just has the strange feeling again that her emotions are a little stronger on this topic than they should be. Something missing from her memory again? It seems like it. "Yes, we'll see."

Open mingle for the First Breath

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