(no subject)

[outstandingbalance]

Who: Natasha Romanoff & You
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: 6/24

Video

[Transmission starts at the same moment the woman laying in fram shifts from unconsciousness to tense stillness—her eyes open, darting, and she goes tense, but otherwise there's no movement from her for the first four or five seconds. That seems to be how long it takes her to process that she's in an unfamiliar space with no memory of how she came to be lying there. Then one hand balls consciously into a fist. Her eyes flutter. Jaw tightens.

Natasha takes a deep breath and forces her body to relax muscle by muscle.

Seems like spies don't make for great entertainment when they first wake up. Not unless you find tension and veiled suspicious looks riveting. The first minute or two isn't much more than that. She wakes up. She sits up. She swings her legs over the edge of her cot and stretches her back, trying to flex the adrenaline out of her muscles.

She looks directly into the camera at one point, her expression flat, lips tightening in a frown. She taps the edge of the lens experimentally.]

You know, if you're gonna kidnap a girl you could at least buy her dinner first.

[Her voice is just a touch to defiant to be neutral as she speaks.

Then she hauls herself to her feet. The last thing caught on camera before the broadcast ends is a shot of her catsuited figure walking away.]

Comments

[outstandingbalance]

I'm getting that.

[Natasha gives a mall, tight sigh, willing her training to assert itself. She doesn't exactly like the idea that dozens of people—and who even knows how many aliens—can see her frustration.]

Thank you. And thank you for the welcome. I appreciate your help in this.

[She sounds more professional as she says it. More in control.]

[pain_train]

No problem. You were always super nice to me before, so it's a pleasure to help you out now, sir.

[outstandingbalance]

I appreciate it.

[It's a little strange to hear. Natasha's had plenty of people in her debt before, but rarely for being super nice.]

Turns out, I can use a little help.

[pain_train]

What do you need help with?

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha spreads her hands a little, making an inclusive gesture to the Marsiva, maybe the fleet in general.]

Call it a state of the union.

[pain_train]

Okay. The short sitrep is that you've been abducted to be on a reality vidshow. No one knows why or how, and no one knows how to leave either, even if people randomly disappear. You're stuck on the Marsiva for several days and then you'll be randomly assigned a ship.

The only ship I have any kind of beef with is the Blameless, because there's a seagull there who calls himself the Stalker and threatened to kill one of my crewmen. But Captain McCoy says he's dealing with it, and so far he has.

The Bluefish has the best medical personnel. The Caprine seems to have the best parties because of Pinkie. The biggest ship that isn't the Marsiva is called the Iskaulit, and that's a common place for everyone to go. There are bars and a garden and all sorts of things there.

[outstandingbalance]

Wild guess—those bars get a lot of business.

[pain_train]

You know... I don't actually know? I'm still not allowed to drink because it fucks with my chems. But I know there are people around in the Iskaulit all the time when I go there to work on my mural.

[outstandingbalance]

You paint? [Natasha's not inclined to let the conversation stall on what Wrath doesn't do.] Or am I taking that wrong?

[pain_train]

That's right. I paint. And do drawings too. Most of what I work on is digital, but I like getting to work with real paint when I can.

[outstandingbalance]

Nice you got the opportunity then.

I imagine there are hobbies that could be hard to keep up with... here.

[pain_train]

Yeah, and no one minds me doing a big piece on the Iskaulit, so...

Probably? But like I know Vision has lots of plants in the cargo hold. And there's some pretty awesome gym setups on the Iskaulit too, that I'm looking forward to getting to try maybe at some point. And it's easy enough to get laid.

[outstandingbalance]

[Making a mental note to check out the Iskaulit. She'd already planned on it, but it seems to be where most of the interesting things are.]

Does getting laid really count as a hobby?

[pain_train]

Why not? It's a fun thing you can do in your free time, and it's good exercise. Kind of like being in a crossball league!

[outstandingbalance]

It wasn't a complaint. I've been known to have some fun that way in my free time, it's true.

[pain_train]

Well yeah! It's just that everyone asks that question. It's weird.

[outstandingbalance]

Maybe it is, now that you mention it.

[pain_train]

Maybe that's just how it is in the time you came from? No one in Proles thinks sex is a weird hobby even if they're not into it. At least no one I can remember.

[outstandingbalance]

It's not that I think it's a weird hobby, it's that I think it's weird to call it a hobby.

[Important distinction.]

[pain_train]

[Squint.]

I don't understand.

[outstandingbalance]

Guess it's the sort of the same way I wouldn't call eating a hobby. You do it. You enjoy it. But it's not exactly building toy trains.

[pain_train]

But sometimes people do have eating as a hobby. They either do like... contests? Or they eat really fancy stuff.

[outstandingbalance]

True. But most of us are just getting by with whatever's in the kitchen.

[pain_train]

Well, yeah. Nothing wrong with that. Like sometimes, you're fucking starving and a sandwich is good enough. Or rat bars, or whatever.

[She may have slightly lost track of what this conversation is actually about.]

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha laughs at that. It doesn't really matter too much how they got here.]

Let's hope it doesn't come to rat bars, or whatever the equivalent might be.