what if i lose it all?

[nedstarksbastard]

Who: Jon "perpetual frowner except around siblings" Snow and Arya "give me my goddamn sword back" Stark
Broadcast: nope!
Action: planetside, giving tree.
When: backdated to about--yesterday?

Wait up, Arya.

[The better part of a day has come and gone, spent walking from the village to the forest where this tree is supposed to be. They're close now, he can see the twisted white trunks and the red leaves of the giving tree (a heart tree, all the way out here), but first:]

At least let me finish putting up a camp.

[He's not walking back to the inn after nightfall in a dark forest on an unfamiliar planet, are you kidding him?]

Comments

[aliased]

[ When his memory is shared, one of hers comes at him in return: Jon giving her Needle, and the way he felt upon receiving Longclaw is how she felt getting Needle except there was more excitement on her part. Another memory collides soon after, of Father looking at the sword, asking who gave it to her and her not answering.

And soon after a third memory comes, one she didn't want Jon to see. Needle being plunged into the chest of a boy, fear racing through her as she does, fear of being caught and killed.]

[nedstarksbastard]

[Don't tell Sansa, they'd said, once upon a time, and now Jon sees that Arya kept that promise--kept silent, in fact, even when their lord father had asked for it. Something warm blooms in Jon's chest.

Then the next one crashes in. Oh, Arya, he thinks, grieving quietly for what his sister had to do, to keep herself safe. (Another memory slips across, just then, unbidden: Qhorin Halfhand, the blood pouring from the slash in his neck, dripping from Longclaw's point. Sharp, he'd said, and Jon feels lost, numb and in shock, you must not balk--)]

--oh. [Soft, sad, not aware of what else might have been seen. He'll have to work on that, probably.] Oh, Arya, I'm sorry.

[aliased]

[ Her fingers grip his tighter as the memories of death, of murder pass between them. It washes away whatever warmth that came before it, to closes a vise grip around her heart. Jon had killed too. Of course he had. He was a man of the Night's Watch.

She lets out a soft sound as death hits her like a dead weight, making her eyes close for a moment. Then he says her name, brings her back to them, to this, to the moment.]

I didn't want to.

[nedstarksbastard]

Neither did I. [He didn't think it would come to that--didn't think he would have to kill the Halfhand to earn the wildlings' trust. And, oh, Arya--he can't help the grief that wells within him, for his little sister and the things she had to do to survive.] But you needed to survive, and sometimes, to do that, we have to do things we don't want to.

headcanon time

[aliased]

[ She holds his hands tighter, her brow furrowing as she nods. Another flash comes at her now, of a storm raging outside and she can't be more than four or five, climbing into his bed with him, curling close and hiding from the fear of the sounds of the storm outside. He will protect you. He'll always protect you.]

[nedstarksbastard]

[He held her close then, solid and steady and warm, as he holds her now. An image steals across before he can call it back: a rolled-up parchment sealed with hot pink wax, Roose Bolton summons all leal lords to Barrowton, to affirm their loyalty to the Iron Throne and celebrate his son's wedding to--

He lets go of her hands, abruptly breaking the connection. This is one secret he can't tell Arya, not now, not as she is. She's already been through enough.]

I--[I'm sorry, I couldn't keep you safe, I'm so sorry]--I think that's enough.

[aliased]

[ He lets go of her hands before she can see the end. And she doesn't know what it means, what it meant. At first, she thinks Sansa, that this is about Sansa. But it doesn't make sense. Sansa was to marry Joffrey. And Roose Bolton had no sons that Arya knew of... (Bran was better with knowing the houses and their lords) except she remembered hearing one of her father's men speak of Roose's crazy bastard. ]

What? [ was that? what did it mean? ]