[open!]

[pneumo]

Who: YOU! And Sascha...kind of.
Broadcast: n/a
Action: Various places
When: now!

Bloodsport

[ When Sascha wakes at his usual time of "when everyone sensible has gone to bed", it isn't really Sascha that wakes up per say. It's still his body, his memories and feelings and experiences are still there...but there's also more. Much more. The one who opens his eyes slowly and finds himself under the paw of an oversized wolf isn't the forgetful and over-affectionate creature who thinks himself a vampire, but someone else entirely.

Someone he used to be. Is? The conflicting memories and thoughts that assault him are disorienting enough that he defaults to autopilot as he pulls himself from beneath Bigby's limbs, giving his fur a habitual pat--but he's quick to leave after that. Those habits aren't his and the wolf, not his companion. He has never shared the company of anyone while he's slept. Predators don't lie with their prey, they don't socialize with them and befriend them as he...no, Sascha, apparently has.

He doesn't stumble into the halls nor show any other telltale signs of distress, but the way he carries himself and moves with a much calmer, more solemn demeanour doesn't fit the goofball vampire who normally roams the halls so late at night. There's definitely a different feel to him now.

It's not Sascha's habit but one entirely his own that drives him to pass by the rooms of each of his crew mates one by one, effectively stalking them and getting a sense of the real versus his memories. So, Bloodsport. The question here is are you awake, and do you have the heeb-jeebs yet? ]

Iskaulit + Other ships

[ There's an immense feeling of discord that comes from waking with the thoughts and memories of someone you've never been as though you were placed on top of an already considerably sizable amount. It's kind of like waking up one day and suddenly remembering hundreds upon hundreds of lives you've never actually lived even though it feels like you have. The creature that would be Sascha is experiencing that now: he knows the Fleet and doesn't. He's met the strange humans and mutants and others here, but hasn't. He can remember that each evening Sascha wakes he hops from ship to ship to check on certain individuals--a habit he breaks immediately when he heads to the Iskaulit instead after scoping out the Bloodsport.

It's irritating. Strange. He's not sure what he'd expected to happen once he had given into hunger and desperation and devoured himself all those years ago...but it certainly wasn't this. To remember who and what he is, why Sascha's never known any of that, and why he now chooses to keep more to himself than seek out his 'usuals.'

And of course by keeping to himself, I mean he's been straying downwind of the fox area, silently staring and stalking as he debates the point of hunting any of them when he knows it will do nothing to abate his hunger. The same goes for the others aboard the Iskaulit...they make for a much more tempting meal.

Heck, so does everyone else aboard the Atroma's fleet. So if your character happens to be unlucky enough to be wandering alone at this late hour they might just get the sense of being followed. Or hunted, depending on how good that sixth sense is.

Or you could just run into him on the Iskaulit being aloof and creepy. That works too. ]



[ ooc; for those not on my plurk SASCHA IS AUGMENT GLITCHING BACK THE MEMORIES AND PERSONALITY HE USED TO HAVE before he actually became "Sascha." Which means he's old and tired and he eats humans in his spare time so clearly this means you should come on by.

feel free to hit me up on plurk @ owlits/PM me if you wanna plot anything! ]

Comments

[pneumo]

No... [ He chuckles, the sound not entirely mirthful. ]

Because I am Sheol. I am a creature which kills and eats all others.

[passingthrough]

[She wasn't expecting that, but she knows the word. At least she knows it in Hebrew. Hell, more or less, but not the Christian understanding of it.

But linguistics aside is he telling her he can or that he does or that he will?]

Sascha doesn't want to hurt anyone. [Probing.]

[pneumo]

[ He knows what she's doing, and he approves. Someone unused to the tactic would fall right along into it, and that's just the sort of clever woman he recalls. ]

No, he doesn't. He would rather suffer rejection and hatred for what he is than what he could do.

[passingthrough]

He and I have that in common.

You don't see yourself as Sascha, do you? [But its not that simple either. The way he reacts to her is informed by Sascha, isn't it? She's nearly sure.]

[pneumo]

It's...difficult to say. I do not wish to, but he has seen and felt so much more than I ever did. He has...sentiment. Attachment. I remember it all, but I remember me and every other one I've ever been since me.

It is...disorienting. And irritating. But also...fascinating. I cannot say with any certainty that I am at all him, because he knew nothing and I know everything. [ And he doesn't want to leave false impressions, beliefs, or hopes when he can't guarantee anything. ] I remember myself as me, and as him. But I don't rightly act like either.

[passingthrough]

A few hundred...thousand? years old and its time to find yourself again. That must be kind of overwhelming. A surprise at least.

Do you like the sentiment and attachment? [He is still holding her hand.]

[pneumo]

[ He is, and every moment sends a throb through his chest that he's starting to get used to. Sort of. He still wishes he could have kept his hand on her neck, held her close and kept taking in her scent from much closer. ]

Tens of thousands of years. [ he corrects. ] And I have...not decided. It causes me regret and repulsion, but also incredible fondness for creatures I would otherwise think nothing of.

Like you. [ He looks down at their hands, and then slowly back up to her face. ] Were it just me, I could eat you. But even saying it aloud makes me so filled with repulsion and remorse it's impossible. I am...fond of you. Even though "I" have never rightly met you.

[passingthrough]

[Tens of thousands. Definitely a change of perspective and that makes Sascha the tiniest, if most recent, point in all of that. Though apparently still significant—different—and also, he's the one in familiar surroundings here where the ships and crew will trigger the most memories and associations.

There's no fear or even surprise when he says "I could eat you". In fact, she leans in closer to him.] You could have tried. [Confident, maybe even slightly challenging, not that she wants him to try. It may even come off as arrogant, but it's not that she thinks she's impossible to beat. Far from it. But she's a fighter and she would not make it easy.

She leans back again.] But I'm also pretty adorable. I might have surprised former you. [There's a little smile.]

Like you said, you're all of you now. Sascha too. You aren't that person from before any more than you're just him. Why did Sascha forget?

[pneumo]

[ The eagerness and anticipation he feels when Kitty leans in is almost more than he can bear, but the disappointment when she pulls back all too soon is even worse. Perhaps using "fond" wasn't strong enough. He needs a better word for this, this want to be as close to her as humanly as possible.

Sheol don't feel that. Never have. ]

"Sascha" has yet to forget anything, actually. If you consider him as distinct as any who came before then he has only just begun and will not forget for some time by your standards. It is all of who I was before that who forgot.

But that is my fault. None of them could possibly know or understand what they were after I devoured myself.

[passingthrough]

Devoured yourself? What do you mean by that? [It can't be literal, right?]

[pneumo]

[ Oh it can and is, and he lifts the hand not entwined with her up to his mouth and puts his pinky finger between his front teeth, like he means to bite down and through it. ]

[passingthrough]

[She watches him before reaching up to pull his hand away.] Stop it! [No hurting yourself! Not ever! You know, unless it will save Winn's life later.]

[pneumo]

[ He will totally do that to save Winn later, he promises. And luckily here he actually stops because it's Kitty doing the stopping. He lets her grab his hand, lets her pull it away from his mouth, and by the end of it he's staring her evenly in the eyes, expression solemn. ]

You wanted to know.

[passingthrough]

I don't want you to hurt yourself. Why would you do that? [Softer] ...Why did you?

[pneumo]

Because I wish to die. [ He says it simply, like stating a fact as simple as water is wet or grass green. ] But since that is impossible, the best I can do is remove what makes me, "Me."

[passingthrough]

[What is with people too old to be her son who she looks after almost like a son being suicidal? In the prison Nathan tried to kill himself once before she met him and still fantasized about it.]

Why do you want to die? [She's touching him again as if he's Sascha even though she knows he's not now. Her hand brushes back his hair and skims protectively along the side of is face.] Did Sascha want that too?

[pneumo]

[ His first instinct is to lean into it, and for once the Sheol doesn't fight Sascha's inclination. If anything he revels in the warmth her skin produces and the way she treats something as dangerous and sturdy as him with such tenderness. ]

...I do not have any memories from him where he wished such a thing. [ Because he feels like he should offer that comfort at the very least. Sascha's never wanted to die, not even once. He'd just wanted to find people who wouldn't hate him. ]

I wish to die because I am old, tired, and the last of my kind. The others have all been laid to rest and I thought I could handle that. I was wrong.

[passingthrough]

Good. [It is a comfort to know Sascha isn't thinking that too. Especially when his life has been so hard and lonely. Like living all the worst parts of being a mutant without having the X-Men beside her.

It would be more comforting if the person speaking to her now was using past tense instead of sounding like he still wants it. Not surprising tens of thousands of years of memories would trump a hundred and change, but she doesn't want to lose Sascha whether this is temporary or permanent.]

If you can't die what happened to the others?

[pneumo]

I ate them.

[ Not against their will, of course. Sheol have no reason to hunt with one another or display aggression. If anything they were passive and patient hunters who had little need for conflict. Their very existences were a constant struggle against a never-ending hunger and an inability to grow old or die.

The only thing capable of ending the life of one Sheol is another. Which means eventually there would only be one left, unable to find any sort of relief. ]

None of wish to live like this for eternity. We Sheol suffer a terrible fate, in which no matter how much we eat or gorge ourselves we will always starve. We never feel relief from hunger and even our very presence feeds off of and kills those around us.

We do not grow old, tired, or sick. We cannot perish because our bodies heal. However...we discovered that the strength of our hunger is greater than our lives. So we could escape having to live if we devoured one another. [ He closes his eyes and leans into her again, exhaling softly through his nose with no real heaviness to his words. It's calm and factual, at peace with the reality of things. ]

I approached each of them one by one and offered them peace. They accepted.

[passingthrough]

[It's horrifying but also selfless. He was in a terrible position. They all were. She's not sure what to say when a more immediate concern does get a response.]

Wait, what do you mean your presence feeds off of others? [She's not even worried for herself. It's Winn and Kurt and everyone else Sascha is friends with.] I feel fine.

[pneumo]

I kill humans simply by being around them. [ he shrugs, not daring to open his eyes. He's reluctant to see what expression she must be making at him. ] It only takes a few months. Here though everyone appears fine. Maybe your "Atroma" have done something to protect you.

[ He doesn't mention that one incarnation of himself inadvertently killed his wife that way. It's an unnecessary detail. ]

[passingthrough]

[A few months? He's been here exactly as long as she has—six months—in close proximity to others on these ships. If something were happening it would have started already. She relaxes.] Probably bad for the show if the rest of us die.

I'm sorry. [It doesn't sound like anything he can control.] It sounds lonely. [Profoundly lonely.]

[pneumo]

Unbearably, [ he agrees, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He sinks deeper against her touch, shoulders relaxed. ]

Hence my desire to join the rest of my kind in release from this fate. And the reason you met your "Sascha."

[passingthrough]

[She rubs his cheek softly with her thumb before pulling her hand away again. The other is still holding his hand.] You mentioned others. Others between you and Sascha?

[pneumo]

[ It ends all too soon for his liking, and forced to support his head himself he opens his eyes again and nods. ]

Everyone few hundred years or so, sometimes less.