⚛ 02: why this edition; video

[beathach]

Who: Hank and you!
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: The Blameless
When: now!

[when the feed flips on, it focuses on a crate on the smaller side, but clearly yet another sponsor drop. Only this time, it appears to be full of brushes, of all shapes and colors and sizes. There's also a note attached on top:

"Because normal brushes are just infuriating. Keep that blue fur shiny with these purrfect alternatives!"

there's a heavy sigh from behind the camera and a mutter, just audible enough to be picked up by the microphone]

Someone thinks they're being funny.

[another sigh, and the camera turns around, focusing on a woman's face. Reluctantly, it seems, because she looks incredibly awkward and uncomfortable]

Anyway - I know some people have pets on the fleet, so if you'd like a brush for their fur, feel free to come over to the Blameless and pick one up. I certainly won't be keeping them.

[she goes to turn the feed off, then pauses]

Also, Winn? This is your fault. Get over here so I can blame you properly.

[and with that, the feed disconnects]

Comments

action;

[unbearablynaive]

[Visit the Blameless? Why not? Between Officer Snuggles, Jellybean, and the fluff slugs and Kurt, the maintenance bots could probably use a break from cleaning up all the shed fur themselves. So after docking a shuttle, he enters the cargo bay.]

Did they really think you'd need this many of them?

[beathach]

[he glances down into the cargo box and makes a face]

I'm surprised they thought I needed one, let alone all these. My fur isn't really long enough to warrant one.

[unbearablynaive]

I can't say I'm qualified to judge. [He hasn't even seen Hank with fur yet.] Though if it's as short as Kurt's, it would be overkill. Does it have a brand name on the box?

[beathach]

I think it's a little bit longer than Kurt's, but not by much. [face-fur excluded. He leans over to peer at the side of the box]

"Groomingdales". [deadpan] Another pun, wonderful.

[unbearablynaive]

[He's trying not to be too amused at Hank's expense, but it's hard not to quirk his lips in a smile.]

I'll take two of them off your hands, then. The arctic foxes can get very long fur, and I'd hate to see it matted up.

[beathach]

[he's secretly a little amused by the puns, don't let him fool you]

Mm, go right ahead. I was thinking of leaving what was left over near the fox park anyway - they'll certainly get more use out of them than I will.

[unbearablynaive]

That's a very good idea.

--Not to address the elephant in the room, but how are you faring?

[beathach]

I'm - mostly fine? I mean, there's nothing wrong, it's just - very strange.

[unbearablynaive]

No doubt the shift in center of gravity alone would give you that feeling, and that's without the associated physiological changes. Does your regular clothing fit, at least?

[beathach]

[he nods, looking wry] It's a little big, but it's not . . . too bad. I'm not drowning in my clothes, anyway.

[unbearablynaive]

Good. I'd offer you some of mine, but--

[His clothes shift from his standard Fleet wear - the blue-and-gold "superhero" outfit - to a collared sweater that looks like it came from Brooks Brothers.]

--they're not technically clothing, but rather a part of my body.

[beathach]

[he blinks in surprise at the change]

Whoa. [then he grins a little wider] It's alright. I've already had a few offers to borrow clothes. I'm just a little stubborn about accepting.

[unbearablynaive]

Understandably so. As long as it fits relatively well, I don't see why you couldn't continue to use your own.

[Suddenly expressing a different shape shouldn't change his clothing preferences at all, should it?]

[beathach]

My thoughts exactly. It wouldn't be too hard to pin things in place anyway, if it's necessary. It isn't as though I'm not used to doing that in the first place.

[unbearablynaive]

Indeed.

I'll get back to my ship, then, unless there's anything you might need?

[beathach]

I'm good, but thank you. If you know anyone else who might want to a brush, feel free to send them over.

[unbearablynaive]

Certainly. And, er. Good luck.

,small>[And he'll head back.]

[beathach]

Hah - thanks, Vision. I'll see you around.