⚛ 02: why this edition; video

[beathach]

Who: Hank and you!
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: The Blameless
When: now!

[when the feed flips on, it focuses on a crate on the smaller side, but clearly yet another sponsor drop. Only this time, it appears to be full of brushes, of all shapes and colors and sizes. There's also a note attached on top:

"Because normal brushes are just infuriating. Keep that blue fur shiny with these purrfect alternatives!"

there's a heavy sigh from behind the camera and a mutter, just audible enough to be picked up by the microphone]

Someone thinks they're being funny.

[another sigh, and the camera turns around, focusing on a woman's face. Reluctantly, it seems, because she looks incredibly awkward and uncomfortable]

Anyway - I know some people have pets on the fleet, so if you'd like a brush for their fur, feel free to come over to the Blameless and pick one up. I certainly won't be keeping them.

[she goes to turn the feed off, then pauses]

Also, Winn? This is your fault. Get over here so I can blame you properly.

[and with that, the feed disconnects]

Comments

[winn]

Wouldn't be human if you didn't but it couldn't have been that long - cuz I know when I last saw you as - you. Clearly if they want drama they have much better choices for this, people who'd throw public tantrums, accuse, lash out. Not embrace the teasing.

[beathach]

Of course, and it isn't as though I've not experienced something - well, along these lines elsewhere.

And I'm only embracing the teasing from a select few.

[winn]

[ tilting his head curiously ]

What do you mean?

[ oh but that last bit makes him smile. ] I'm honored.

[beathach]

I had to take a quest where I was physically a teenager for a few days, shortly before I left Kyriakos.

You should be. [a mock huff] Because I know I'll hear a lot of it.

[winn]

So you did experience a malfunction before. Did you keep your adult memories in a teenage body, like now, or were you fully teenager?

[ he refuses to call them 'glitches'. that's his code name the atroma can't have it! ]

Hey, ask Cisco - I wasn't that bad.

[beathach]

I kept my memories. By choice, because I had other quests I needed to do.

[he's been calling them effects in his head, he understands]

You're not the only one who's going to tease me, though. I have to worry about him, too.

[winn]

You were given a choice?

[ now that's definitely different. ]

Oh yeah, you're doomed. [ cisco is a terror. ] You know how he announced himself when he -- malfunctioned? He made me think he's my alternate future psycho ex girlfriend.

[ try saying that 3 times fast. ]

[beathach]

More like I requested it. It was after one of - those games I told you about.

[the ones with the death and the maiming]

. . . he's such a menace. [it's deadpan, but it sounds a little fond and exasperated, too] He pretended to be a girl I should have known, but didn't. Raven walked in right during the middle of it.

[it went from awkward to INCREDIBLY AWKWARD in record time]

[winn]

[ yeah. he's got more questions but he has some sensitivity to timing here. being a girl is hard enough to deal with without having someone dredge up your traumatic experiences. ]

So he gave me a heart attack and he wasn't even original about it?

[ wow, now he's offended. ]

[beathach]

I'd say it was original; I didn't just have a heart attack, I fled the damn ship for an hour. [because he used a certain word and then had a minor panic attack over it]

[winn]

No man, that's exactly what he did to me.

[ winn's head filled in the blanks with what's-her-name ]

Except no one walked in on us, so I got off easy. She took it that bad?

[beathach]

She didn't take bad at all, actually.

[he awkwardly rubs at the side of his neck] I, uh. I mean, we've never really put a word to . . . things, and I kind of - put a word to it for the first time?

And I don't . . . handle that sort of stuff - well.

[winn]

[ have a sympathetic pat on the arm ]

But it's good that you did. He did you a favor, unintentional as it may have been.

[ he was so happy when kitty started referring to him as her boyfriend, it's one of his most precious memories. ]

[beathach]

If you look at it that way, mm. And - well, it's obviously easier now.

. . . but I'm still going to get my revenge on him.

[winn]

Oh totally - what d'you got in mind?

[beathach]

Nothing? [sheepishly] I'm not - really the type to get revenge, even for pranks.

[winn]

I am deeply disappointed in you, other me.

[ shaking his head at him ]

[beathach]

[wow. just wow]

What? It isn't as though I'm used to being pranked like that.

[in the fun, friend kind of way, he means]

[winn]

Get used to it, cuz I doubt we've heard the last of Cisco.

[ male or female, the guy's a menace, he thinks in the fondest way possible. ]

[beathach]

[his nose wrinkles]

I'm not saying anything in response, because I might end up jinxing us again.

[and because Cisco could very easily overhear/see this, of course]

[winn]

[ he pats hank's arm, and gives him a sympathetic-but-get-it-together sort of look. ]

It's not a jinx when it's a fact.

[beathach]

Then I don't want to tempt him.

[but - in the time between Winn answering his post and arriving, he's found out something interesting. He nods towards his lab]

There's something I want to show you, which - may or may not be a good thing. I haven't decided yet.

[winn]

Show me -

[ instantly intrigued! and a tiny bit suspicious that given what they were just discussing this is a set up for a prank. but mostly intrigued! ]

[beathach]

[there is NO PRANK HERE he's not that cruel nor could he think up something that quickly.

but - considering what they've been discussing as of late, well. He leads the way into the lab, pulling something up on the communicator before handing it over to Winn to look at.

Specifically, this conversation he had with a very adorable Fox-girl]

I'm going to be tracking down everyone else who came from that place to find out if they know more.

[winn]

[ winn watches in silent concentration, frown deepening the more he hears ]

It does seem like the place most repeat kidnapees come from - I should've seen that. That's a clue.