driftfleet | (no subject)

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(no subject)

Who: Everyone messed up by the dragon plot, and visitors
Broadcast: N/A
Action: Blue Fish's clinic!
When: All throughout the Solrius dragon plot and through the space flight to the next destination.

[So several RPG characters, a dragon, and two messianic figures walk into a planet.

Everything is suffering and tears, there's a lot of dead people, there's no punchline. But, hey, for the survivors, the Blue Fish's clinic is treating wounds and generally being a decent place to rest and recover and pray you don't see a dragon again. And for those who weren't involved, there's enough people bedridden here that there may just be someone you want to visit.]

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[Well, yeah, being scared that he'll fall again is a huge part of it, but more than anything else he's frightened of moving forward without Mikleo.

It's just a feeling he hasn't put to words yet, he can't put to words yet. Or ever. Stepping back into a winding path that he once shared with Mikleo, without him, doing the same thing he'd done before he destroyed what they all had together?

He can't do that. He simply cannot do that.]

...you're right, [he murmurs instead,] but I can't think about that right now.

....I'd imagine not, no.

[He offers him a sympathetic smile]

Take your time. You should decide things when you're ready. It's your life, after all.

Mm. Lailah says that a lot; says that a halfhearted Shepherd is much more dangerous than none. Though I guess we've seen the effects of that already.

[Sorey rubs his hands together again, as if they're cold.] I didn't get a chance to try and do anything for the planet. I saw Clay's call to action; do you think there's anything that can be done now? Even though we've already left?

Yeah...I can understand her reasoning. [Especially after...all that] I like Lailah, she's really nice!

[At that question he frowns and thinks]

Well...we're probably too far away now to send anything back. Why? Are you looking for something to do?

[Everyone likes Lailah, because she's wonderful. Puns notwithstanding.]

No, more that, [scratches the back of his head,] I feel awful doing that to those people, and not even being able to offer anything to the relief efforts. I don't- [Swallows hard.] I don't...think...I killed anyone. [And he really doesn't know for sure. He's very scared that his memories aren't completely there; there's a lot of blank spots. If he killed someone, just outright murdered them-]

[....

Honestly Allen isn't sure if he did or not for sure. It was too chaotic and too much space to check over every spot. And even if he did know...well, he'd probably be real tempted to keep it from Sorey for his sake]

...Right, I'm sorry. I don't know.

But- maybe you could ask Clay? He's an astronaut and he's really smart. Maybe he could think of a way to get at least something back to them.

[Sorey doesn't realize he'd been holding his breath until he's let it out. Had he been expecting Allen to know? Hasn't Allen already done enough for them?]

Right. Of course, yeah; I'll ask him. He, um. [He rubs his nose, trying desperately to steer his mind away from maybe you did.] He left me a pretty long message actually, telling me to never do this again. But in Clay sort of way. Said a lot of things I needed to hear.

Edited 2016-09-15 15:19 (UTC)

Did he? [His expression softens] That sounds like something he'd do alright. He's been really worried about you.

Mm.

[Picks at his clothes.]

I'm...glad he didn't have to see me like that. [Clay's a normal human; a lot like all the villagers Sorey meets back home. Well, from a place that already does space travel, anyway, but the principle is the same. Sorey is never very fond of the times when normal humans look at him differently because they see something they don't understand.] And I'm glad he's here in the Fleet. He takes good care of people.

Yeah. I'd be much worse off without him, that's for sure.

[ Clay kept him sane, kept him grounded. Even though Allen was the one with the powers, Clay was the one who made him feel less afraid. The last year in his life with Clay has been the happiest he's ever been, or at least since...

Since...

... ]

Sorey...

There's something I should tell you.

[Run, whispers Sorey's heart at the tone of Allen's voice, and it reflects in how he stiffens in the chair, as if to burst from it and bolt.]

...what is it?

[He notices Sorey stiffening up in his chair. Almost like a terrified rabbit, ready to flee if it's a predator.]

It's just...Look, I admit I don't know everything you're going through right now. Or how you got where you did. I'm not going to pretend I do.

But...I do know some of it. When I was younger, I turned my own father into an Akuma. That's how I got my curse and look the way I do. [You know, like an anime protagonist]

I'm not expecting to say anything right now. But, if you ever do need someone to listen...you're not alone.

[Oh. God, he'd thought Allen was going to give him more bad news. -okay, so that's not good news, hearing that happened to Allen, but it's not immediate bad news like "Dezel didn't make it" or "Zaveid asked me to tell you to never speak to him again" or something like that.

And- maybe it's designed to make him feel better, but that just makes him feel worse. Why do people have to suffer so much before things can change?]

...thanks. And I do hear you, I do. Not talking...is what caused all of this to happen. I won't make the same mistake again. [A lesson well-learned at a price too high.]

[There's a heavy pause as Allen watches Sorey, gauging his reaction. He sees that the guy just seems to look more depressed from what Allen said. Sure, he wasn't expecting it to be a happy reaction. It's not a happy story. But surprise? Confusion? Horror? Yeah, something along those lines. He'd even take anger, that someone who made an Akuma would dare continue as an Exorcist. It wouldn't be the first time he's heard something like that.

But no, instead Sorey just seems to get sadder. As if he just took the story, added it to his burdened shoulders and gave him a generic nice sounding line that Allen imagines he's given to a lot of people. Yeah, he can imagine there's probably a lot of people reaching out to Sorey. Allen knows he isn't the first, nor does he believe he'll be the last. The fleet was full of kind people. He understands Sorey placating him, giving him a generic line while planning to go to others.

What he's less understanding about is Sorey clearly taking his story to add to his burdens. To add to his sadness about the world and his wishes about how suffering this world was. He's seen that expression before. He hated that expression. It's one of the reasons he's usually so tight-lipped about his past. He was a survivor, a fighter - not a sad story.

It only sours him more that Sorey seems to be doing this about Mana. Mana was his responsibility, not Sorey's.

The longer the pause lasts, the more annoyed he feels. The residual anger from the past week showing up again. He knows he should keep controlling his temper, that Sorey is in a vulnerable spot and needs loving support. He didn't need anger. He doesn't need more guilt added on. Sorey was a lot more delicate, a lot more sensitive than his Exorcist comrades-]

- No you don't, you shithead!

[- Nope. Too late. Shit. He's going to be in trouble later]

I didn't tell you that to make you feel like you have to carry my pain. I see that expression there! I told you so you don't have to feel alone, that's it! It was a long time ago, I've learned to live with my past, okay?

[He makes a huff sound and the last part was more of a grumble.]

Then again I don't know why I expected any different. [From what Allen could tell? Sorey saw people as responsibilities, not equals.]

[Well, he's not wrong; Sorey had just kind of assimilated Allen's personal story right into his savior complex. It's just hard not to have a savior complex when literally everything you've done after leaving your village for the first time was geared to encourage it.

Allen's harsh tone makes him look up though, and Sorey bites his lip before scrubbing a hand through his hair. It's the first flash of an emotion other than 'sad and wearily beaten down,' which is probably a good sign even if getting angry or irritated makes him very visibly uncomfortable.]

I don't- I didn't mean to. It's automatic. [People tell the Shepherd sad things that happen to them so he can help them. If he can't help them because it's already happened, that's all on him. That's how it's supposed to go, right? ...but he's not the Shepherd to the people here, he's just Sorey. And hell, he's not even a Shepherd at all is he?]

What's that supposed to mean, you didn't expect anything different?

[Allen knows that it's probably a bad move to let his temper get the better of him. It won't help and it will probably get him in trouble. It will probably push Sorey even further from him. But...Allen was a fighter, it's what he did. As refined and poised as he tried to act, the scrappy hotheaded brat was never far beneath the surface.]

I mean you always treat everyone like they're responsibilities rather than people. The Seraphim, me, your friends- everyone you meet! You act like they're just burdens who should be treated like children!

Again and again I keep trying to reach out to you, as a comrade! Not as a saviour like you seem to think, I don't need that! You spend all this time feeling sad that people have pain- what good does that do?! You don't try to actually understand anyone, you just sulk that pain exists and act like some big martyr!

Well, get your head out of your arse, already! You're not Jesus and you never will be! No one here's even asking you to be! We're asking you to be our friend, our comrade, dammit!

Okay, okay, [Sorey says exasperatedly, holding up his hands. Stop yelling. You are gonna bring Beverly down on everybody's heads. Geez, who knew Allen could be so belligerent? Then again, most people stuck in a hospital and in pain are belligerent...] I hear you. I do. [He doesn't agree (because if anybody is a burden here it's him, but he's not stupid enough to say that aloud) but he hears him.] I promise you, I don't have any grand ideas of trying to save you or anything.

[Seriously. He doesn't have any grand ideas at all, at least not right now. But man, Allen, that 'martyr' business stings.]

[Well no, the injuries certainly aren't helping his mood. And from Allen's very annoyed look, it looks like Allen isn't really happy with that answer since it's about more than Sorey trying to save him or anything like that. In fact it sounds like he's about to go for another belligerent round]

That's not- [Except thank God, he's cut off by a large coughing fit. Turns out yelling and getting worked up when you still got a lot of injuries is sure to jostle something. He moves his one good arm to cover up his mouth as it sounds like he's coughing up either a cat or several cigarettes.

Though, the death glare that's still coming from Allen's face might make Sorey want to think twice about moving too close in]

Edited 2016-09-18 01:25 (UTC)

[Yeah no, not moving in. He will nudge that glass of water on Allen's nightstand a little closer though. ~~Defiantly.~~ Yell at him all you want, YOU CAN'T STOP HIM FROM CARING!!!]

[WAY TO SHOW YOUR DEFIANCE SOREY.

Good news! He's still coughing so he can't yell. Hell, he'll eye that glass of water instead of Sorey. But with his good arm covering his mouth? Completely out of habit, he moves his left Innocence arm to grab it. But unfortunately with all the painkillers in his body, movement in that arm still isn't good. Instead it moves in a very stiff fashion and knocks the glass off the nightstand by accident as his wrist and fingers fail to move properly.]

Shi- [Yeah back to more coughing]

Edited 2016-09-18 02:15 (UTC)

[Sorey manages to snag the glass before it hits the ground, though there's still water everywhere. He jumps up to fetch a towel and comes back with a fresh glass of water as well. Throwing the towel down he decides to hazard his own health and lean over the bed.]

Look, can I help you drink at least?

[Luckily for Sorey, at this point the coughing has gone on long enough that Allen's finding that he's losing a notable amount of oxygen, and that's admittedly a worse problem than Sorey being in his personal space so.]

[That might look like a nod. Maybe. Venture at your own risk]

[Risks are made to be taken! Or something like that.

Sorey helps Allen drink, pausing for him to cough and clear up his throat before thunking the glass back down so he can lean over and mop up this water mess. Not too inclined to start conversation though, considering how well that's going. At least Allen's in relatively good health?]

[Not wanting to die from a cough (that'd be embarrassing), he'll drink down the water until his throat is clear. When he's down, he lies back down fully onto the bed, letting his head sink into the pillow. Ugh. This sucks. He hates being an invalid like this.

He takes a few moments to catch his breath, before he mutters:]

Thanks.

No problem. [Hesitates to sit back down before he just decides to go for it. That little coughing fit probably wore him out; he might need some assistance, and until someone else visits Sorey should stick around until they get here and free Beverly up for the other patients.]

...mind if I read? [Because the talking isn't working out but he's not going anywhere.]

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save_the_souls - 2016-09-18 20:58 (UTC) - Expand

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