mk. 06 (text)

[paraclete]

Who: Kaworu Nagisa and whomever else
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: he's in his quarters on the Vanquish.
When: 9/13, which is the anniversary of a horrible catastrophe on his planet!! also his birthday. but mostly the catastrophe thing.

I've gotten a sponsorship box, although I am still not entirely sure what that means. Anyway, it came with the assertion that I should have a wonderful day. But since I hope that you, the reader, will have a wonderful day, and because it would take me a very long time to eat all of this, I'm going to leave it out and let you come and take a cup full, if you'd like to.



It's sitting in the cargo hold of the Vanquish. There are other things there, as well, but you can find this particular box thanks to the glitter on the floor surrounding it. You can take more than a cup, too. I won't be monitoring it. I want to share any bounty I can with any creature I can. A debt is no good.

I do have one request, independent of boxes and cups. If you have the time, and if you feel nostalgic, would you tell me about your planet? It can be anything you want to say. Whatever details are most vivid as the memory of your home. Whatever hallmarks you consider to define your dwelling place. Thanks.

Don't you think it would be nice to go swimming?

Comments

[paraclete]

[Asuka's words are washing around inside Kaworu's head like water circling around a drain. What she says, and what her words imply, are coursing in and out of understanding. First he thinks, They both had opinions about what might be nice for me. Then he thinks, What?

He realizes he ought to have spoken by now. So: ] How nice. [It's tepid; he's still reeling. He also realizes, very belatedly, that Shinji said, It's going to be a great day. Kaworu feels like seawater. Real and healthy seawater, not the stuff Shinji and Asuka grew up with. He feels damp and dehydrating both; and he feels buoyant, but close to drowning. He also feels amazingly stupid. This is better than nice or any other lukewarm descriptor. This is... It's...] It's really nice. [Oh, now he really could drown.

And he's stupid, and he's always been stupid, but he has to get a grip on himself. He has to manage. Shinji is kind enough to bless Kaworu with both presence and privacy; Kaworu has to take the opportunity to compose himself. He clears his throat again and wills the wetness in his eyes to recede. When he thinks it's safe enough to look at either of his guests again, he lowers his fingers down to just his cheeks. First he peers at Shinji. It's ridiculous, but despite how many times he's seen Shinji, despite all the angles he's seen and the subtleties he knows, Kaworu cannot believe how beautiful his best friend is. His kindness is beyond any other Kaworu has known. Well... Except for...

Now he peeks past Shinji, tilting a little, over at Asuka, who is sitting on his bed. He looks at her with a dim but clear sort of wonder. Asuka said— Earlier, she had asked him about his preferences. She had a genuine interest in what he enjoyed. She helped. —you really like vanilla— She's got every right to hate him. There are so many reasons why she should. But her benevolence cuts cleanly through her surly posture, and he wants to admire it like a piece in a museum, something to be revered but not touched.

Looking at Shinji had kept Kaworu feeling overcome; but in the strangest way, looking at Asuka lets Kaworu shame himself into behaving properly. He needs to be better, and it's got to be painfully obvious to the both of them as well, but her eye in particular cows him, even though she doesn't seem angry with him. So he steels himself. He crawls out of the ocean and onto a shore, and steadies himself on his feet. When he's at last able to fully uncover his face, Kaworu doesn't yet let go of Shinji's hand. He squeezes it. For several tense, taxing seconds, Kaworu squeezes Shinji's hand like he needs it, fierce and overwhelmed. His touch has no intention to harm, but he almost can't help the strength of his grip. Still, this isn't the ferocity of an Angel; he doesn't crush or even bruise. It's just the anxiety of a teenage boy.

Then he lets go, out of respect to both Shinji and Asuka.] Blue is wonderful, [he says, and he sounds gentle, more like himself.] But green isn't any less wonderful. I love both of your choices. It's beautiful. Shinji-kun... Shikinami-san. This is all beautiful. [He's able at last to cross to the bed, and he sits at its edge, hands clasped loosely as his wrists are balanced over his knees. Like this, he can look up at Shinji, which feels right. But he can't stop himself from turning his head to stare at the cake again, too.] It doesn't need the sprinkles. It's already perfect. Both of you, I— [One more swell of emotion. He quells it well, though, only pausing to clear his throat.] Thank you.