iii - action - open

[survivalistcookbook]

Who: Eugene Woods and Ravi Chakrabarti
Broadcast: None
Action: the Three Twins
When: Monday morning

[All right. The pizza rush has died down, a fresh week's work of rations has been supplied, and Eugene's proofread and edited his little manuscript-in-progress of The Survivalist Cookbook: Lost in Space Edition enough to feel reasonably comfortable with the thought of another human looking at it. He calls ahead so that Ravi can keep an eye out for him, bundles into a short-range shuttle, and makes his way to the new ship with a quiet hope that the oven is repaired and won't need to be repaired again by the end of the day.]

[He spends most of the day in the kitchen, where any members of the crew or visiting fleetmates can find the two cooks working through a crash course of soups and stews, breads, casseroles, and some protein concoctions that are hopefully foolproof. The goal is to at least help prepare enough food and food-related strategies in advance that, even without him there to hang over anyone's shoulder, they can eat pretty well for several days. Fingers crossed nothing catches fire or ends up on the ceiling.]

Comments

[takingkarabusiness]

[ Kara doesn't even go here. She's never been on Three Twins before, but her new friend Ravi got shuffled onto it and she's not one for letting someone go too long without a welcoming committee of her. She comes bearing a papercraft lollipop, but as soon as she smells the food cooking, she finds herself drawn, inexplicably, to the kitchen. almost before she realizes it, she's there, knocking sheepishly ]

I hope being a near-stranger surprise visitor is okay?

[arfvader]

[Ravi grins when he sees who it is and waves her into the kitchen.]

Kara, hi! Welcome to Chez Chakrabarti: where the food will hopefully soon be edible!

[takingkarabusiness]

Hi! I hope this isn't too much of an intrusion.

I got bored and wanted to see what was up with other people. So hi, other people! What's up?

[arfvader]

"Other people"? Is that really how it's going to be?

[But his tone is one of teasing!]

[takingkarabusiness]

Well, you're not Tourists!

Also, I'll have you know I'm an excellent taste-tester. Stomach of steel.

[arfvader]

Eugene's cooking should be safe. I'm thinking of applying a warning label to mine, at the moment.

[takingkarabusiness]

It can't be that bad.

[arfvader]

It could stand to be better, which is exactly why he's kindly agreed to come and tutor me today.

Is someone in charge of the cooking on your ship as well?

[takingkarabusiness]

Actually it's kind of a free-for-all.

[arfvader]

And how has cooking gone for you so far?

[survivalistcookbook]

[Don't mind Eugene - he was in the middle of chopping protein when their visitor walked in, and now he's just watching the back-and-forth banter bemusedly. Far be it from him to interrupt a good patter. He will give a little wave once he's noticed, though.]

[takingkarabusiness]

[ she brightens and waves back him ]

Well, I approximated pudding? But that's about as far as I got. I'm really good at reheating things, though.

[arfvader]

Is that part of your whole [he wiggles his fingers a little] alien thing?

[He turns to Eugene, realizing he's utterly failed at making proper introductions.]

By the way, this is Kara. Kara, Eugene!

[survivalistcookbook]

[Eugene thinks maybe they talked over the communicators? Once? Which isn't close to the same as actually seeing someone face to face, anyway, so he takes the introduction happily.]

Hey. Don't listen to him. Everything he's made today has been totally edible. [Even if there had been some last-minute salvage of a few efforts.]

[takingkarabusiness]

I think we talked once, but like, forever ago. So, it's good to meet you!

And yeah, Ravi. I'm kind of invincible.

[arfvader]

You're invincible.

[He rounds on Eugene in his excitement, waving jazz hands in Kara's direction.]

She's invincible!

[Aaaand he turns his attention back to Kara.]

We are absolutely having a pow-wow later where I will hopefully get to hear everything about it!

[survivalistcookbook]

Hey, good to meet you too. I'd love to hear about alien invincibility.

[Whatever 'alien' means when they're all from dozens of different worlds and in space together. He gives a quirk of a smile, gesturing at the kitchen.]

Do you, uh. Want to hear about kitchen stuff? I was just about to take mercy on Ravi and show him how easy it is to make bootleg frappucinos.

[takingkarabusiness]

I would love to know how easy it is to make bootleg, non-copyrighted frappucinos!

[arfvader]

Please tell me there is some actual caffeine in this knock-off-frappuccino concoction.

[arfvader]

[Ravi is struggling with his attempt at dough, which is currently resembling cement.]

Am I supposed to feel like my joints are on the verge of breaking while I'm kneading this? Because Nigella Lawson always made it look much easier than this.

[survivalistcookbook]

But alas for our baking and our ratings, we are not Nigella Lawson.

[Eugene leans in over his shoulder, taking a poke at the dough and frowning.]

Also, that needs more water. Don't be afraid to let it get a little sticky.

[arfvader]

Please, I handle viscera on a daily basis! Sticky things are very low on my list of things to fear!

[Ravi obligingly adds more water and starts attempt number 2 at kneading.]

As for our ratings, you've got the culinary talent and I've got the excellent hair, so I'm sure we'll be fine.

[survivalistcookbook]

All that and a touch of appetizing viscera talk. How could I have ever doubted.

[arfvader]

Don't tell me you're squeamish! I feel like if you can stomach a certain TV show [he raises his eyebrows meaningfully], you should certainly be able to handle some talk of viscera.

[survivalistcookbook]

Hey, handling it and liking it are two completely different things. [He gives a crooked smirk, heading to the protein dispenser to start extruding tasting portions of several of the flavors.] The Earth I come from came down with a bad case of zombie apocalypse, and trust me, there is no talking about viscera after that and not remembering the smell.

[arfvader]

Zombie apocalypse?

[This is enough to make Ravi abandon his kneading efforts momentarily. If Sokka had met someone from the future in his own world, that could definitely be possible in this situation too.]

... what were the zombies like? Romero? 28 Days Later? Shaun of the Dead?

[survivalistcookbook]

Oh- uh. [That's probably the most direct question about the subject he's gotten in awhile, and it takes him a second to sort his answer into something that feels both medical and pop-culture enough for the source.] More Shaun than anything? Flu-like illness, no cure, and most people go from 'tickle in the back of your throat' to shambling inside of 24 hours. It started in the UK and was popping up all over the world inside of a week, I think.

[arfvader]

[Ground zero's not Seattle and the clinical signs preceding the onset of zombiism aren't the same, so definitely a different world. Although...]

Don't suppose you know anyone by the name of Sam Yao?

[survivalistcookbook]

[That name is all that it takes for Eugene to light up like it's Christmas. Because regardless of where he's ended up, in so many ways, Abel still feels like home.

Plus, it's Sam]

Oh my god, Sam Yao! Yes, I know him. We both worked radio and communications at Abel Township. How do you know him?

[arfvader]

He was trapped in the same zombie summer camp that I was. Nice chap, even if he cheered for the wrong football team!

[He lowers his voice a little, just in case anyone is passing by or if there's any overeager viewers trying to listen in.]

Sam and I were actually comparing notes on our respective zombie situations.

[survivalistcookbook]

Wait- zombie summer camp?

[Eugene drops his voice too, though he's still struggling with that last detail.]

Okay, back up, you're going to need to explain 'zombie summer camp' to me before we keep going here.

[arfvader]

[He raises his voice back to normal volume, since he's not entirely fussed with anyone hearing about his time at The Camp With The Name That Requires Some Level of Censoring.]

Long story short, this isn't my first rodeo with interdimensional-kidnapping. I was trapped in a zombie summer camp somewhere in France with a bunch of other people. Sam Yao just happened to be one of them.

[survivalistcookbook]

. . . so this is the first universe you've been in that doesn't have zombies. That's what you're telling me.

[arfvader]

[Annnnd lowering his voice again to a whisper.]

That part's sort of on the down-low, but yes, that would be an accurate summation of the situation. But the zombies from your world and the zombie from my world are entirely different, so we suspected that they're different strains. Though - curiously - both came about as a result of the apparently deadly combination of an energy drink and recreational drug.

[Action] 1/3

[goldenglasses]

[Dododododdo~~~ Minding my own business! Saw a shuttle land for a crew mate! Hope they're having a good time! Dododododo! Just on my way to my room! Not bothering anyway! Lalalalaalala~~~ Walking past the kitchen. Dodododododo!]

[Action] 2/3

[goldenglasses]

[Was that people cooking in the kitchen?]

[Action] 3/3

[goldenglasses]

[With a snappy 180 degree turn and suddenly Vash is seated at the kitchen table with the biggest grin on his face.] So! When's lunch!

[arfvader]

I'd recommend trying anything made by Eugene. My creations aren't quite up to snuff yet, but at least it's a positive work-in-progress!

[survivalistcookbook]

[Woah. That's . . . Definitely an abrupt order. Eugene takes Ravi's complete lack of surprise as cue enough that this is pretty par for the course, and snorts at his artful deflection.]

Hey now, I think that soup-and-bread course is going to turn out pretty good. But, this is a great test. Hungry crewmate, wants something to eat and wants it quick. [He leans back against the counter, pointing at the newcomer.] Go ahead, name a few things you're in the mood for.

[goldenglasses]

[If you cook it; Vash will come. More so if the food is free. He rubs his hands together not at all embarrassed by his possible greed.] Perfect! I am an expert taste tester. I can even get you a reference here in the fleet if you need!

[As soon as the offer to name what he'd like to eat the answer come automatically. Almost before Eugene finishes asking the question.]

DONUTS!

[survivalistcookbook]

Okay! So-

[Turning to Ravi.]

First cornerstone of success as a cook - setting realistic expectations.

[Back to their new taste-tester.]

Good news - I am pretty sure I can make donuts. Bad news - it will take about twelve hours. What can we get you in the meantime?

[arfvader]

[To Eugene:]

I've been telling everyone to not expect anything edible for the next three weeks. How's that for realistic expectations?

[He turns to Vash with a grin.]

Well, Captain, I've personally prepared some lumpy stew and a casserole that probably shouldn't break any teeth, if you're willing to give it a try!

[goldenglasses]

[Vash smiles nods along as Eugene gives Ravi the sage advice of setting realistic expectations. Apparently finding it great advice, that is until he hears it will be twelve hours before he can have his favorite treat.]

Twelve hours! [You will believe a grown man can pout. Mostly because of the way Vash's lower lip sticks out in his pout.] Oh man, you really don't think you could make them any quicker than twelve hours?

[Ah well. At least there's some sort of food to be had in this situation. He didn't really expect to get donuts anyway.]

Not breaking my teeth is a pretty high recommendation. I'll go ahead and give the casserole a try.