driftfleet | video. i hate sponsors, they're too meta.

Who: Sam Winchester
Broadcast: fleetwide (WOO SPONSOR)
Action: Red Fish
When: Now

[Sam has had a pretty uneventful month... despite it being half spent as a toddler. But, look, none of his friends have died lately and his brother isn't trying to stab himself in the neck (recently? shut up we're being positive about this!), and, like. Space has been alright. No complaints. So that's probably why something happens right when he doesn't expect it. Or want to expect it. Sam appears on the feed, standing in the Red Fish's cargo bay, looking completely unhappy with the stack of books that are delivered to him.

They look like this, if you cock your head to the side and squint:

And Sam is totally not enthused by receiving crates of them. He reads the sponsor drop list in a hushed voice to himself.]

"From one of our sponsors — traveling across the galaxy, we bring you one of the top hits of Earth's many dimensions — Supernatural! Join the journey of two okay-looking brothers as they travel the country and somehow pass for law officials... The whole series is available... Free amulet... and anti-demon possession tattoo... with every purchase..."

[............ EHEM. MORE DIRECTLY —

Enjoy him glowering.]

... There's no laws against air-locking a bunch of crap, right? Or can I burn it somewhere?

[Feel free to accidentally get a copy or find one misplaced by the sponsor drop — the book is essentially the first episode of the show.

And it's depressing in the last chapter, but whatever.

Meta thug life, Sam lives it.]

This picture still doesn't look anything like us, for the record. This is clearly Fabio's evil twin, come on.

[He's learned to be so over this whole thing, mmkay. He wanders while still scrutinizing the book.]

And I don't fight ghosts shirtless. Who the hell would fight ghosts shirtless...?

[THIS IS ANARCHY, WINCHESTERS WEAR AT LEAST 30 LAYERS OF PLAID.]

God, if they have Supernatural book conventions somewhere out here in space, I'm going to airlock myself.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Fingerguns. ]

Got it in one. It was a complete ballache, to be honest.

What a sophisticated description.

[He's lighthearted, though, eyebrows raised.]

Well, uh. We could make a deal — I won't kill you unless you're trying to murder people and nobody has much choice in it. And you can do the same for me.

[Sam isn't thrilled about being around demons. For good reason.

But. He's learned a lot.]

I tend not to murder people, too messy. But given that the last place I was in liked to play with people's heads, can't hurt to have a bit of a safety net there. Deal.

Great... Good job, Sam, making deals with demons.

I can practically hear my brother cursing another world away.

He'd not take it well, no.

But I don't exactly come to collect on deals like other demons do, so you're safe.

That's good, because I'm not interested in kissing you.

No offense.

...

Okay no. I have to ask.

Kissing? What the fuck sort of demon collects kisses?

Well, aside from for bets anyway. But that was a different thing.

That's how demon deals work, back home.

You summon them at a crossroads, strike a deal with them for your soul, and seal the deal with a kiss.

[He's not a fan.]

[Crowley;s just going to...stare. For a while. ]

That's fucked up. Are you sure it's a demon thing and not just one demon who gets their jollies off macking on you guys?

Honestly, I'm not sure where it originated from. But I know a deal isn't complete without one. The contract calls for it — some sort of pact. Through kissing. Maybe it's just one more kick in the teeth before they rob you of your soul ten years later.

...

Yeah. That's definitely not a thing demons do where I come from. I mean, honestly, ninety per cent of us don't even make deals per-say anyway. We just pull the strings from behind the scenes.

Yeah. To be fair, demon deals are a crossroad demon's thing.

Regular demons are usually assholes with agendas. Twisted human souls squeegeed free of what made them remotely good.

To be fair, most demons where I come from are arseholes, too.

Buuut none of us were ever human. Humans just- well, their souls just go up or down, really. Maybe hang about in the Middle Place for a while. But they don't become anything else.

Huh.

Then... where do you come from, exactly?

Originally? Heaven. All demons used to be angels. Then there was the War on Heaven and off we went.

I stayed in Hell a short while, but I've lived on Earth for about six thousand years now. Give or take.

Talk about jumbled. Ours is pretty different.

Um.

How's... Earth been treating you?

[a+ casual talk

He's trying to be nice, okay. To make up for wanting to gank based on name and accent and species alone.]

[Wow so casual. Super casual. ]

...Well, I've been there for a rather long time, so you could say I enjoy it.

Sure. But I imagine some beings who are stuck on Earth wouldn't necessarily enjoy it.

Probably. Whenever the other demons come up for whatever they're sent up for, they tend to be pretty salty about it. Probably doesn't help they see humans as things rather than people. Without that, you're just on a planet crawling with commodities.

And what sets you apart from them?

You seem to not see people as things.

[Seem, anyway. Maybe you do.]

I rather like people, a lot. I've spent a long time living amongst you. I've grown...fond of your little ways. Existence is far more worthwhile with you lot in it than without. It's just unfortunate that most demons and angels don't see it that way.

Oh, great.

Do your angels call people hairless apes, too, or is that just a perk of our world?

Some of them probably do. The one I know best doesn't though. He's...rather fond of you lot, too.

But some angels are right bastards, so I wouldn't be surprised if that was a thing.

This nice one got a name?

Out of curiosity. All things considered, we seem to have a lot in common, world-wise.

Aziraphale.

He guarded the gates of Eden- if that draws any comparison.

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