closed » you're the horizon line -- i'm the last sunset

[mucked]

Who: Peggy Carter & Steve Rogers
Broadcast: Definitely not.
Action: Closed, aboard one of the occasional waypoint stations as the fleet drifts.
When: Mid-afternoon

[ today, peggy decides she's done with nudges and hypotheticals. done with veiled suggestions and unfulfilled promises. she and steve had danced around the concept of going steady; of being official; of committing. they danced around it without ever really dancing at all. he'd made overtures enough, even if his follow-through was rubbish. and she feels a concrete certainty about him, even though her overtures are shite. so, today, it changes. ]

...Steve? [ peggy rapsher knuckles loose against his bunk's doorway. she looks casual (by her standards) with her hair plaited and her sleeves rolled up. she watches him from the threshold, tilting her head with a flicker of affectionate admiration. ] Let's get out of here for the rest of the day. Just us.

[ although she doesn't use the word 'date', she decides it's been suggested often enough that she needn't so crassly underline her intentions in this very moment. to do so would surely insult his intelligence.

...right? ]

Comments

[mucked]

I'm what, Captain Rogers?

[ do fill in the blank, steve. ]

[uprightness]

[ oh this is walking on thin ice isn't it ]

I just meant, you're - you know, I never got to see it. I always knew you're strong and very fierce but I never got to see.

[ absolutely gesturing towards her again. ]

You're, [ there has to be a word. it's more than endearing but different than just charming ] cute.

[ please don't punch him. ]

[mucked]

[ the only proper way to describe her reaction is taken aback. she very nearly flinches. ]

Puppies are cute, [ she argues. and with conviction. ] Small children are -- by times -- cute. Edwin bloody Jarvis is cute but...

[ her? peggy grumbles. ] The 21st century has you all twisted 'round and confused, I'm afraid.

[uprightness]

[ he tries not to laugh and ends up clearing his throat a bit and he manages not to argue for most of the time but then - ]

see, there it is again.

[ that grumble. ]

it's cute.

[mucked]

You're an odd man. [ huff. ] With odd preferences.

[ she might as well have just accused him of 'fessing up to an unusual peccadillo. ]

[uprightness]

Thinking you're cute makes me odd?

[ yeah, there it is, he lets the laughter stumble out. ]

ya'know, I can't be the only person who thinks that.

[mucked]

I'll wager good money that you're the only one who thinks it so affectionately. [ she clears her throat. perhaps such sweet(ish) words have so often been used dismissively. cute, carter, but...

in its wake, she knows he doesn't mean it that way. and if she were to be honest, there might be a man or two who might agree with him. but it isn't as though she's about to make that clear. ]

[uprightness]

--- well I'm not going to complain over that.

[ just saying. ]

Besides, you know, if I'm odd, it gotta mean you're odd, too.

[mucked]

Am I? [ she doesn't outright deny this claim like she did the cuteness, however: ] This is one I'll have to hear your explain.

[uprightness]

Well that one is easy. odd man.

[ he gestures towards himself ]

woman who is dating odd man.

[ gesturing towards her ]

odd woman.

[ and what was the other thing? ]

with odd preferences.

[mucked]

However, the distinction is that I share my odd preference with most of the women of America. [ and some of the men, she suspects. ] If anything, you could call my preference to be downright common. Angie would agree.

[ and yet this -- sitting here, with him, so casually hand-in-hand feels anything but common. there's a lightness in her soul she hasn't felt in ages. ]

[uprightness]

No, you don't.

[ he downright makes a face at that]

You can't compare yourself to any woman in America, Angie included, they didn't even know me. They knew the posters and the movies and that weird radio program.

[ what was the name? never mind. ]

They don't really know I'm odd, do they? you do; so that makes you just as odd.

[ because for all that he is captain America, the image is still not quite the same as Steve Rogers. ]

[mucked]

[ he's right, of course. none of them understood the man behind the shield and the charismatic smile. to them, steve was a glimmering moment. he was camelot: ephemeral, fantastic, and larger than reality. and that's precisely why... ]

I can't even talk to any of them. Not about you. [ ... ] They wouldn't understand. The only one who does is Howard. [ because he feels the same emptiness that she does. a raw, horrible space where her hope used to live. ]

No. That's not fair. Dugan and the lads do too. But I don't get to see them as much. [ and suddenly this cute afternoon felt very heavy indeed. peggy scrunches her eyes shut and shakes her head. ]

Compared to the alternative, [ she smiles, though it's faded-like. closer to the smile she used to wear back home when she was still grieving for him. ] I suppose I'd rather be odd.

[uprightness]

[ he feels the shift and responds to it at once, wrapping his free arm around her shoulders and tugging her closer. ]

I know.

[ in a way, he does. it's not exactly the same thing but how do you really discuss your long lost love with people who think of her as a grand detail in the history of the world. who's the girl? natasha asked once, faced with a faded old picture of her and Steve said nothing. what was there to say? ]

Don't worry.

[ he smiles, presses a gentle kiss to the edge of that smile, as if daring it to brighten ]

I always liked your oddness.

[mucked]

[ by habit, she is unyielding. but peggy yields today -- leaning her cheek against his shoulder, and taking refuge under his arm. dammit, what will she do when all of this is inevitably yanked out from under her? from under them? she inhales, and it's shaky, but in the end she doesn't break. ]

And I liked yours. [ like is such a weak word for what she feels. ] I still do.

[uprightness]

[ for a long moment he simply holds her, lets himself feel her there at his side. There will be no possible way for him to let her go at the end of - whatever game it is that the atroma are playing. He can't handle the thought of her becoming a memory, a shred of a dream, a picture in a compass.

In a weird way, it lifts a certain weight off his shoulders. He spent so long debating what's the right thing to do that even an impossible decision like not ever letting go is a comfort. It's one thing he knows for certain.

He doesn't move, keeps his hold of her but when he does speak, his tone is a little lighter. ]

Can I ask you something?

[mucked]

Of course you can.

[ -- whether she answers, of course, is another story entirely. peggy savours the pressure of her cheekbone against his shoulder. over time, the weight stings just a little. but she'd rather an ache than an absence of him. that's what stops her from adjusting the way she leans against steve. ]

Ask away.

[uprightness]

[ he calculates at least six different ways he could try and make her smile and once an option is decided upon he makes his tone very casual ]

For future reference, what's the procedure of dating someone who lives two doors down in a crowded spaceship? Is kissing you in the cargo bay the equivalent of kissing you at your door?

[mucked]

[ -- she's stunned, for a mere moment, and then peggy bursts into a round of chuckling. she loosens her fingers from his and gives his knee a stalwart squeeze. buck up, soldier. only it seems he's done a miracle for her morale, too. ]

Don't ask me. That lodging house I mentioned? Didn't allow men above the ground floor. It's been a damn long time since I've had to worry about that sort of protocol. [ ...peggy sits up straight and rubs the back of her neck while she thinks. ]

The door to my quarters, maybe. Or the door to yours. Whichever we pass first.

[uprightness]

[ if only there was a way to go for an air punch without her noticing. ]

Even if there are people present? No matter who they are?

[ does that include Max because. ]

[mucked]

[ much of the charm peels away when she begins to realize how much of a dork he's actually being. peggy puffs her cheeks with a sigh. ]

Mind you, it's always good to be able to read a room. [ and gauge the moment, so to speak, in case such a public display of affection is unwarranted. she very nearly begins once more with the grumbling. what stops her is... ]

But I have no desire to keep this -- [ she gestures gently at the space between their bodies ] -- a secret. We don't have to go a-shouting from the mountaintops, either, of course.

[ but there is no shame in loving him. not now that he is flesh and blood and not a ghost, locked up in memories. ]

[uprightness]

Huh.

[ he can't help it, it's right there. ]

Well there go my plans for tonight. Figured I could use the ship's intercoms for it, too.

[mucked]

[ pfft! peggy rolls her eyes. not bloody likely. ]

I'd sooner lock you out of the comms systems completely. I can do that, you know. [ well...maybe. she's not certain that's even possible. ]

[uprightness]

I don't doubt that.

[ not one bit, in fact - ]

So if my comm ever stops working, it's your door I should be knocking on?

[mucked]

I imagine so. Until we manage to recruit another communications officer. [ she's been pulling double duty as both captain and comms ever since the previous captain left. it's a pace she never used to mind, much. but now she finds there's so much more she wants to do with her free time. ]

And then you'll only have to hope that they are more sympathetic to your plight.