driftfleet | (Open)

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Who: Maedhros & Open
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Yes! On the planet~
When: The 17th.

(There is a tall Elf amongst the wreckage, a gun at his side. His eyes are unfocused and there is a strain to his features as if he is listening to something hard to distinguish.)

I do not like the Song of this world. Have others noticed it? (Elven ears are sensitive to such things and this Song is one of...calling? Summoning?

It wishes to keep us. The thought comes unprovoked and his grip tightens on his gun.)

I would not spend overlong looking amongst the wreckage. I cannot say if it is possible for you to forget you are part of the fleet, but -

(It is not impossible and that concerns him. Leaving anyone behind brings back bad memories.)

I stand ready to guard anyone who wishes to explore, however. Tell me of your arrival and I will meet you.

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Atar was never easy on you; there was so little I could do to convince him otherwise. (Another regret.) You were never cruel to him, though. I have been cruel to Kano and he to me. This will remind him of that, I fear.

All I ask is that you be there for him when we return.

It wasn't your place to deal with your father. [Finwe hated that the grandchildren were put in the middle of the conflicts between Feanor and Fingolfin.]

I will be here, I will not go anywhere else.

You love him though, I never doubted that.

Perhaps not, but he needed to be dealt with and far sooner than anyone dared. (His lips tighten in a thin line.)

Love and hate are not so different.

I know. That was my failing though and I will not have you to take that on, Maitimo. Let my failure be mine alone to bear. You were his son, you loved him, and I should have never put you in the position to have to rein him in because I failed as a parent.

[And that's what hurts most of all. He failed and put so much on his grandchildren because he had turned a way when his children had needed him.]

Both are strong emotions and come from the same place but they aren't the same. There is only one who deserves our hate. Please don't turn that on each other.

His spirit is not like yours or anyone else's besides his sons. I do not know where he inherited his fire nor do I understand why it blazed out of control. I feel we all have had a hand in it, however he himself is the one who should be blamed the most. He chose to shut you out and to give into his lust for beauty and perfection.

We both watched him fall, Grandfather, and I love you too much to let you bear that burden alone.

(He falls quiet and looks away, expression troubled.)

I was mad by the end. I could only see the Silmarils and how they continually eluded us. I killed...mercilessly...but I did far worse than that to Kano. I forced him to stay at my side; I shackled him. I wove guilt and bitter regret into a cord that I put around his neck.

Now that I am sane again, I can see how cruel that was.

You did nothing wrong in regards to your father. Maitimo- when your grandmother died I neglected him in my grief. I was alone, I felt as if a part of me had died. I wasn't prepared to care for him as well.

[This was painful to speak of, no matter how long it had been he would always grieve his first wife.]

By the time I pulled out of my fog of grief, he was grown and angry. When I remarried- I was not as considerate as I could have been. I should have seen the signs sooner.

How you all don't hate me for this failure, I will never know. I was selfish and I allowed your father to do what he wanted because I felt guilty that I failed him. And in doing so, he dragged you all down.

(He feels terrible for Finwë; to lose one's heart in such a sudden and unexpected manner is more painful than being stabbed repeatedly.)

You were alone. Our people are not perfect; we are not skilled in every facet of life. You carried your grief, your loneliness and he carried his. If someone had intervened, it might have gone better.

(Frowning, Maedhros gives his head a sharp shake.)

I will be visiting you soon, Grandfather, with no hate in my heart.

And I will welcome you with love in my heart.

[Always so much love. He will always love his children and grandchildren to the end of time and beyond. Eru and Manwe above couldn't stop him.]

As you always do. (Later, after he leaves a very unhappy Kano in his room, Maedhros knocks on Finwë's door, face pale.)

[And Finwe is there to answer it, pulling his grandson into his room for a hug. He knows when his grandchildren just need love and support.]

Fingon gave me some cakes and dumplings. Will you join me?

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