001

[pocketpal]

Who: ELN-1470
Broadcast: Yes!
Action: On the Marsiva
When: 2/21

This is ELN-1470, reporting for duty. [ A woman looms over the communicator's camera. It's filming from close to her feet, and she looks large - except, no, that's definitely just a trick of perspective. She's on top of a table. She is tiny, peering down at the communications device, tiny hands on tiny hips. ]

It appears that my prior duties have been canceled, due to the catastrophic disappearance SISC0117. Which, I may add, not only contained my duties, but my dwelling and all of my possessions.

[ Someone’s not pleased. ]

Please inform me of my updated schedule.

I’m sure it will be a pleasure to serve. [ To turn off the communicator, she stomps on a button. ]

Comments

[alwayscomeback]

Well, you definitely haven't got a people skills augment.

[pocketpal]

Is there such a thing?

[alwayscomeback]

There's a personnel one, which is pretty much therapist, so I guess so?

[pocketpal]

That sounds like a waste of time.

[alwayscomeback]

Maybe they think we need someone to talk to about our feelings?

[pocketpal]

I don't have feelings.

[alwayscomeback]

Everyone has feelings.

[pocketpal]

Shut up!

[alwayscomeback]

You know, you remind me of a friend of mine.

It's okay to have them. It's not like you're going to have an allergic reaction to feelings.

[pocketpal]

I'm not your friend, and ELNs aren't supposed to have feelings beyond specification.

[alwayscomeback]

Well, no. You're not an angry blind girl from the Earth Kingdom by a long shot.

Is that what you are? An ELN?

[pocketpal]

Of course it is.

[alwayscomeback]

So...what's that about? Other than being super tiny?

[pocketpal]

The function of an ELN is to provide repair, maintenance and inhabiting population to Sentient Interstellar Ships.

[alwayscomeback]

OH, so you're an nerving? What species are you, though?

[pocketpal]

I am an ELN!

[alwayscomeback]

But that's your job, not your species. Like I'm a human.

[pocketpal]

My species was designed for this job.

[alwayscomeback]

You...

[His augment fires up, throwing in words he'd never know, otherwise.]

You're an AI?

[pocketpal]

No. I'm biological.

[alwayscomeback]

But you were...created?

[pocketpal]

Are you slow? My genome was refined to create the perfect balance between size and variability of function.

[alwayscomeback]

We don't have people like you where I come from, seesh, moody.

[pocketpal]

Obviously.

Do you have genetic engineering?

[alwayscomeback]

Uh...no.

I was made the regular way.