driftfleet | 004;;

Entry tags:

004;;

Who: Bucky & You!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Heron
When: 11/2

[ Hello, fleet! Today you get a message from someone who's been more than a little absent the past month. Some people may be more aware of it than others, but he's finally crawling out of the woodwork.

Waking up has been more than a little disorienting, because he didn't recall falling asleep, or when. It makes him uneasy, a solid weight sitting in his gut. The last time he couldn't remember things, it wasn't so great for the fleet. ]

What year is it?

Not sure how long I was out..Is everyone okay?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wouldn't know. I usually make do with a solid four to six hours.

[ she backs off ever so slightly. if only because the 'twenty years' comment gives her some real pause. did he just go back and live twenty years? or is he talking about...

kate frowns. ]

Do things feel different this time?

I make it a point not to sleep for long. An hour or two at a time.

[ The second text comes through after a few minutes. He really has to consider how things really feel. ]

Yes. It took me a little too long to remember where I was.

[ -- she's quick to lock their conversation down. for her sake, perhaps, as much as his. ]

Why? Did you do that thing where sometimes people remember...more? From home? [ she's had crewmates who've undergone that frustration and confusion. ] It kinda freaks me out.

[ she already knows enough; she's not certain she wants to know more. ]

No. I didn't remember anything else.

The feeling was too familiar for my liking.

[ It was cold, dim, and his limbs had felt heavy. The industrial setting had been unsettling, and for the briefest moment, Siberia crept into his head. ]

I'm sorry. That sounds futzed up.

More than I can put into words.

So it's a good thing you don't have to. Not with me, I mean. I don't need to know.

[ as aforementioned, she knows too much already. ]

Thank you. Most people want to pry.

Most people are dicks.

[ the truth is she once pried so hard she ended up ambushing her world's bucky barnes in a cemetery around christmas, only to intrude upon a personal moment of grief. she's learned her lesson. ]

Isn't that the truth..

[ After a moment, a second text comes through. ]

I remember more from home, but that was from before.

Edited 2016-11-08 18:37 (UTC)

Was it a lot? The captain on the Blameless woke up after remembering ten more years. Ten.

It feels like all of it has come back, but this can't be it.

[ He may have embellished somewhat to a certain few. Easier letting them think he remembers everything, right? ]

It's a long fucking time to have to remember.

[ she reads between those lines. frowns. ]

There are blanks? [ wait. ] The moment I cross the line into prying, btw, you're free to tell me off. I'm a big girl. I can take it.

Over ninety years is a long fucking time for anyone to remember.

[ Let alone someone who's had his brain put in a blender more than a few times. ]

I remember a lot.

[ Fake it 'til you make it, right? ]

...Do I you actually want to remember it all?

[ she wouldn't blame him for wanting some details to fall to the wayside. especially if his deal is anything like the winter soldier's 'career' back home. ]

It's not fair if I don't.

[ What he wants really isn't important in the grand scheme of things, is it? He has to atone for all of it eventually. However that means. ]

Fair is for playgrounds. Fair is -- fair is getting what we need, not striving for some sort of cosmic balance.

[ come on, katie. bucky barnes, of all people, doesn't need to hear this from you. ]

[ At least the self-loathing and brooding is the same in both universes, right? ]

Someone needs to remember the people I murdered.

Someone does. But it's entirely possible that someone shouldn't be you.

[ because, as far as she's concerned, it's not about him. and making it about him doesn't help anyone -- least of all the people he murdered. but she's still a newbie at this gig compared to some of the greats. and back home? back home, barnes carried the shield.

who is she to tell him how to live his life? ]

It's my responsibility.

[ In retrospect, it's HYDRA's responsibility, but it's easier for him to atone for it than getting what's left of HYDRA to answer for it. Not that he won't raze them to the ground when he can. ]

[ well! in for a pound, in for a penny -- and 'cause kate's tried to stay filtered a few times now and one can only go against their nature so often. ]

It's not about you. I get that you might want to carry that burden but -- it can't be about you. Your trauma is your own, sure, and you gotta own what you've done. But getting mired in your 'responsibility' for it all could be mistaken for selfishness.

[ could be. she isn't accusing him -- not completely. ]

If I don't make sure they're remembered and fought for, they'll be forgotten. They don't deserve to be lost to history.

Remembering them isn't on your shoulders alone. History isn't one guy, no matter what the outdated textbooks say.

Maybe not.

[ Doesn't mean he's not going to try and shoulder the entire burden. ]

Edited 2016-11-15 03:59 (UTC)

Hey.

[ sudden change of subject. 'cause why not? ]

Do you like cronuts?

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