Sam Winchester (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
collegedropout) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
driftfleet2016-11-02 08:46 pm
collegedropout) wrote in driftfleet2016-11-02 08:46 pm
text/action. we aaaall are living in a dreaaam but life ain't what it seeems
Who: Sam Winchester
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Red Fish / Iskaulit Bar
When: November 2nd (or somewhere abouts, if you need a different day)
Warnings: post might deal with mental illness-related talk, potential darker themes like conversations regarding non-consensual icky hallucinations, memory/mention of torture, etc. It's possible that it'll be a pretty light post and none of this comes up depending on how threads go, but I wanted to put out a blanket warning in case I forget. This is a heavier post from Sam! No happy augment glitches today or alien chicks with pancakes, sorry buddies. :(
[ACTION]
Sometimes augment updates happen in pretty unextraordinary ways. Sam laid down to sleep on the 30th, and woke up the 31st to find that he had a vast array of new memories and scars — but not quite so simple. He remembers being bound by his ankles and wrists to the chair in a sodden, dark basement. He remembers the hallucinations, vivid and painful. He remembers the knife cutting skin, the smell of his own flesh seared by a blowtorch. When he wakes up on the ship, he does so disoriented and pale with shock, sweat drenching his pillow.
It almost all feels like a dream.
Almost.
The image of Toni Bevell feels impossible to scrub from his mind. But this... This place — the fleet... he hasn't seen it in many months. It's as he remembers, but with the augment update, there's a sensation of falseness. Is this even real? How is he supposed to know? Not too long ago, he had wholeheartedly believed that he and Toni were lovers, confidants, not at all strangers, and certainly not one being a torturer. He had put so much faith in that hallucination — and it had felt so vivid — that there was a horrible shame and disgust and emptiness when he realizes he'd been played like a golden fiddle.
Toni had just smiled, proud of her savagery.
And here lies Sam's great dilemma: he doesn't trust any of this.
Sure, his foot is scarred, and he's got freshly pink and shiny marks where he'd been shot, sliced. But there's a strange emptiness he feels when he gets out of bed, showers, and redresses for the day. It's Halloween. Strange. He checks the roster on the ship. There's someone named Carl. He remembers noting their arrival before and making a note to meet with them properly; a kid, right? Right. He puts on a smile and goes to work at the bar aboard the Iskaulit, but everything feels robotic in gesture, like he's just going through the motions. He's a decent actor, but this augment shift is really making him misstep.
Dean's dead, Sam's alone, he's in a basement, she wants information.
Is he even really here?
Would he even remember the basement, if this were just another hallucination? His mind is working in circles, trying to figure it out. What's he told her? What does he not remember? What has she tricked out of him? He has to be careful. He has to keep his mouth shut about anything she'd want to know. Just... go through the motions. She'd said his brain'd melt, if she did the mind tricks too often. Maybe it will. Or maybe it already is. He sure has a headache.
It doesn't help that the echoes that plagued him before his update persist even still. Images full of glamour, wrapped around many people he's come to know. He hasn't felt this uneasy from his own mind since the expulsion of Gadreel. Swallowing hard, he turns on anonymity and tries to make sense of it all at last, days later, on the 2nd of November.
The day Mom and Jessica had died. Go figure, right?
[ANONYMOUS TEXT | ENCRYPTED 60%]
Has anyone woken up here and felt like — nothing's really... real?
Like you're going to wake up and find yourself somewhere worst, and that it's all just a cruel trick someone's playing on you?
I've just been having a hard time... accepting, I guess.
And if this is another trick and the person doing it is listening —
Go fuck yourself.
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Red Fish / Iskaulit Bar
When: November 2nd (or somewhere abouts, if you need a different day)
Warnings: post might deal with mental illness-related talk, potential darker themes like conversations regarding non-consensual icky hallucinations, memory/mention of torture, etc. It's possible that it'll be a pretty light post and none of this comes up depending on how threads go, but I wanted to put out a blanket warning in case I forget. This is a heavier post from Sam! No happy augment glitches today or alien chicks with pancakes, sorry buddies. :(
[ACTION]
Sometimes augment updates happen in pretty unextraordinary ways. Sam laid down to sleep on the 30th, and woke up the 31st to find that he had a vast array of new memories and scars — but not quite so simple. He remembers being bound by his ankles and wrists to the chair in a sodden, dark basement. He remembers the hallucinations, vivid and painful. He remembers the knife cutting skin, the smell of his own flesh seared by a blowtorch. When he wakes up on the ship, he does so disoriented and pale with shock, sweat drenching his pillow.
It almost all feels like a dream.
Almost.
The image of Toni Bevell feels impossible to scrub from his mind. But this... This place — the fleet... he hasn't seen it in many months. It's as he remembers, but with the augment update, there's a sensation of falseness. Is this even real? How is he supposed to know? Not too long ago, he had wholeheartedly believed that he and Toni were lovers, confidants, not at all strangers, and certainly not one being a torturer. He had put so much faith in that hallucination — and it had felt so vivid — that there was a horrible shame and disgust and emptiness when he realizes he'd been played like a golden fiddle.
Toni had just smiled, proud of her savagery.
And here lies Sam's great dilemma: he doesn't trust any of this.
Sure, his foot is scarred, and he's got freshly pink and shiny marks where he'd been shot, sliced. But there's a strange emptiness he feels when he gets out of bed, showers, and redresses for the day. It's Halloween. Strange. He checks the roster on the ship. There's someone named Carl. He remembers noting their arrival before and making a note to meet with them properly; a kid, right? Right. He puts on a smile and goes to work at the bar aboard the Iskaulit, but everything feels robotic in gesture, like he's just going through the motions. He's a decent actor, but this augment shift is really making him misstep.
Dean's dead, Sam's alone, he's in a basement, she wants information.
Is he even really here?
Would he even remember the basement, if this were just another hallucination? His mind is working in circles, trying to figure it out. What's he told her? What does he not remember? What has she tricked out of him? He has to be careful. He has to keep his mouth shut about anything she'd want to know. Just... go through the motions. She'd said his brain'd melt, if she did the mind tricks too often. Maybe it will. Or maybe it already is. He sure has a headache.
It doesn't help that the echoes that plagued him before his update persist even still. Images full of glamour, wrapped around many people he's come to know. He hasn't felt this uneasy from his own mind since the expulsion of Gadreel. Swallowing hard, he turns on anonymity and tries to make sense of it all at last, days later, on the 2nd of November.
The day Mom and Jessica had died. Go figure, right?
[ANONYMOUS TEXT | ENCRYPTED 60%]
Has anyone woken up here and felt like — nothing's really... real?
Like you're going to wake up and find yourself somewhere worst, and that it's all just a cruel trick someone's playing on you?
I've just been having a hard time... accepting, I guess.
And if this is another trick and the person doing it is listening —
Go fuck yourself.
action, red fish;;
No, but Sam is startled only a bit from his near-collision with Carl. To be honest, he would have probably startled before his new memories, too — hunter instinct, and all — but it's a bit harder to mask when you're suspicious of the whole world around you.
He smiles apologetically, perhaps a bit strained, eyebrows furrowing.]
Ah, sorry, shouldn't be blocking the halls.
I'm Sam — communications here. [He offers Carl a hand to shake.] You're Carl, right? New guy here on the Red Fish? Sorry about getting stuck in space.
action, red fish;;
Carl looks quickly from Sam's hand to his face and back, taking his hand and giving it a shake. ]
Yeah, that's me. I'm maintenance. [ He shrugs a shoulder. There's not really anything anybody can do about being stuck in this place, right? If there were a way to get out, he'd want to hear about it. ]
I mean, you didn't do it. It's not the worst place I've been, at least?
action, red fish;;
[But he's hardly being serious. He smiles softly, and — god, he's still not sure what is even happening in his life right now. It's all kind of a blur, and his smile doesn't necessarily reach his eyes, because... is he even really here? Is any of this substantial? Does it matter? He couldn't afford to assume either way.]
I can relate. A little relief that this place isn't worse is a healthier outlook than being depressed about it, right?
action, red fish;;
[ At least there's no one outright attacking them, though Carl can't shake the feeling that it's going to happen. It always does.
Something about Sam's expression makes him uneasy, and he looks around to make sure nobody's about to get the jump on him. He really misses his knife. ]
action, red fish;; FIFTY MILLION YEARS LATER AFTER CONVENTIONS...
True.
Uhm... You doing okay?
[Because the pot asking the kettle if it's blackened is totally a thing for him.]
action, red fish;; IT'S COOL MAN
[ Why wouldn't he be fine stuck in space and separated from the one person he knows? Totally cool. All under control.
Carl's pretty good about bouncing back from crappy situations, at least. ]
action, red fish;;
Rough world?
[It's open to talking, but it's also spoken in a way that can be brushed off.]
action, red fish;;
[ Most things have to be taken in stride or dealt with. Nothing will be the same again, so there's no use lamenting about it. Especially to a stranger.
Well, guess he's not really a stranger. Can crew still be considered strangers in such close quarters? ]
action, red fish;;
Well... if you ever want to talk about it, there's not much I haven't dealt with yet.
... Except space ships. Haven't dealt with that yet back home. But that's what here's for, huh?
action, red fish;;
I'll keep that in mind.
..Yeah, space is new to me, too. [ Not a lot of call for a space program where walkers are concerned. ]
action, red fish;;
[He's very impressed, okay?]
Um... We have some pretty interesting characters around here, but they're not too bad. Our captain is a mute — I recommend learning a little sign language to make the transition smoother, if you'd like. Zhas and Asuka and Laura are kind of blunt and surly, but they're not too bad.
action, red fish;;
[ And depending on where they go, it could happen. ]
I met Coil. I think we figured it out until I get better at it. Met Zhas, too, but not the other two.
action, red fish;;
A little more social than the others.
[He smiles a bit more playfully.]
Sye's a bit of a hen, but you'll figure out how to get around her. Maybe.
action, red fish;;
[ Because what would the point be, really? The Red Fish doesn't seem to be a particularly social ship, anyway. ]
You make it sound like it's a lost cause trying to avoid her.
[ Not that he's actively trying to avoid people, he's just keeping to himself. Yep.. ]
action, red fish;;
It might be, yeah.
But you can dance around everyone on your own time and see how the ship runs; you see all the places on board? Got your room in order?
action, red fish;;
Yeah, I got it. Not a whole lot to figure out.