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[feathery]

Who: A bird and you
Broadcast: Y
Action: Wonderduck, if you wanna
When: At ass o'clock in the AM

guess im just wondering
because its kind of hard to tell between abrupt disappearances and people lapsing into comas for days
or sometimes weeks
but how long has it been since you went back where you came from
or remembered something that you didnt before
and how long would it take before you get the feeling youre not gonna go back again

[Naval gazing at three in the morning in the Wonderduck kitchen is a go.]

Comments

[feathery]

im a bird actually

[robitussin]

whaaaaat

how are you typing

[feathery]

are you telling me youve never seen a bird use an iphone

[robitussin]

should i have??

[feathery]

yes
its totally preposterous that texting birds are not a cross dimensional constant
the very idea that no one makes talon friendly keyboards is offensive

[So basically he's full of shit.]

[robitussin]

idk i'm not convinced

switch to video

[feathery]

they didnt make the video function beak friendly

[robitussin]

if you can type you can turn on the video

[feathery]

you first

video

[robitussin]

i'm not the one saying i'm a bird but ok

[and, true to her word, she switches to the video function. it looks like she's at a table in the kitchen of her ship.]

Happy?

[feathery]

[And Davesprite begrudgingly replies in kind. He's even in a similar location, complete with a fridge covered in magnets spelling out a variety of swears behind him.

He's a lot less orange than his icons imply, but still feathery.]

Yeah, I'm one hundred percent reassured I didn't accidentally stumble my way into a conversation with a cat.

[robitussin]

—Oh my god, you were telling the truth. I mean, I've seen a lot of weirder stuff, but I definitely thought you were bullshitting me.

[feathery]

[That gets a soft snort from him.]

Eh, I was half bullshitting you. [He holds up his hands.] It's not like typing's much of a struggle.

[robitussin]

That is still 50% less bullshit than I was expecting.

...If I ask about the half bird thing, is that species...ist?

[feathery]

Nah, I'm kind of a freak by any standard. It's not every day you meet a guy who did a fusion dance with a fuckin' skewered bird thing.

[robitussin]

I don't know if I would say freak. Don't sweat it too much, I've seen weirder.

[feathery]

What's the weirdest shit you've seen.

[robitussin]

Do you actually want to know the answer to that question?

[feathery]

Sure. It'll be educational. And possibly make me regret asking, but that sounds about right for the hour.

[robitussin]

Okay, so before I start you have to understand that all of the people I'm about to describe were basically godlike beings with incredible power.

[feathery]

O...k? I can roll with that.

[He's just gonna wait for this to make sense. As much as anything makes sense in his life.]

[robitussin]

So like, one of them was a twelve year old princess who was trapped in a snowglobe who was chilling in our dorm because her mother was possessed and her arch nemesis was out to get her, and we had to, like, melee battle evil shadow minions who came to kidnap her.

Like, that's the starting point, so.

[feathery]

Are you sure this isn't the plot of a video game.

[robitussin]

Pretty sure it was real. I have a sick scar to prove it.

[feathery]

Oh. Didn't mean it like that.

[He shrugs a little.]

I'm a walking, talking video game mechanic, and that sounds like the dumb kind of quest I'd get suckered into sending my player on. For their character growth or whatever.