[video] they say it's your birthday

[interstices]

Who: Asuka Shikinami Langley
Broadcast: Yes
Action: Yes, on the Iskaulit
When: December 4th

[See Asuka, all scowls and irritation, outside on a bench on the Iskaulit, with a pile of merrily-colored holiday cards messily stacked next to her. There's another sack, too, that looks as if it's similarly saturated with cards. She's digging through the sack diligently as she speaks, scrutinizing each card before adding it to her pile.]

Hey. I got these from a sponsor and I don't want them. They're all blank. If you want a couple of cards, just stop by.

[Digging... digging...]

[And then, after opening yet another red envelope (the glue on the inside hasn't even been licked, geez), she yanks out a large black sticker that she stares at and then tosses long before it's legible on the feed.]

I'm not peddling these around.

[OOC: It's Asuka's birthday, but also my yearly offer of holiday cards, either IC or OOC. Or both. Details in that post, if you're interested!]

Comments

Shinji → Asuka → Kaworu.

[astrobleme]

Okay, now just keep your eyes closed, [Shinji says, a smile in his voice.] You're not supposed to see it before everything's ready. [He squeezes Asuka's hand as he leads her over to this particular alcove on the Iskaulit. It features an empty, dusty storefront, but there's a sturdy steel table with a couple chairs nearby. The alcove would be relatively dim if not for the arrangement of candles on the table--red ones, naturally. They're adding some much-needed festivity to the atmosphere.

It looks like Kaworu's almost done with setting out the cake: it's two golden layers, thick white frosting, and a generous helping of fresh strawberries. Off to the side, at once inconspicuous and all-important, is a long jewelry box forged from hand-me-down black velveteen.]

And no peeking, got it?

[interstices]

[Asuka had been prepared to say it wasn't a big deal. Prepared to let today pass like any other day without a mention. It's not like she's had a party to speak of in years; it's probably not like Shinji'd even remember when her birthday was. It's not even like she's still young enough for a birthday to matter like it's supposed to. She's never growing up, just getting old.]

[But he does remember and Asuka still can't find it in her to tell him to forget about it. There's even the faintest, most awful flush right across her nose and cheeks. Her eyes are closed, even her bad one, as if she could really see through the cloth anyway, steps uncertain.]

Shinji, you didn't have to. [But there's not much protest in her tone. Not much at all. She has the stupid feeling she might be wrong anyway, that it's some sort of happy accident that he's picked today to get something ready for her. Her desires are always infinite; it's just her expectations that have sunk over time. She swallows, hearing some faint rustling, straining for more. If he decided to breed one of his pets and give it to her, well... that'll be unfortunate.] I won't peek.

[paraclete]

[Aside from the rustling, Asuka will also hear the click of porcelain as Kaworu arranges, examines, and rearranges the plate which holds the cake. He sets it and considers its angle, fingertips at his chin, before rotating it a few centimeters. He's been repeating this process for a couple of minutes, for once fastidious about the appearance of something—usually Kaworu appreciates what he sees as he sees it, but this occasion occurs to him differently. The point of the cake isn't for him to see. It's for her, and he's reminded, not for the first time since he started making an effort for her birthday, that he isn't sure what exactly pleases her.

But here they are, Shinji leading Asuka by the hand, and so Kaworu has no more time to fuss over the cake. The plastic cutlery is already set out, at least. He's just agonizing over the angles of strawberries. This is evident when he turns to face Shinji. Kaworu gestures with his hands, fingers flaring and then curling with an awkward edge: Is it all right? He didn't fret this much over Shinji's birthday celebration, but he knows Shinji much better than he knows Asuka, and so it's easier for him to anticipate Shinji's reactions. Besides, he was too busy being in love to be all that afraid. The way he feels toward Shinji is something that's been steeping for lifetimes; it has settled over everything else. But the light in which he has come to see Asuka is much newer, and it's a very bright light because of that, kind of hurting his eyes. He hasn't learned to coexist with it yet. Knowing her a little more now has just made it clearer how little he ever knew her before.

So he doesn't speak at all, even with his hands fluttering in Shinji's direction. He feels like his voice shouldn't be the first part of the surprise. Shinji has indicated that Kaworu is welcome here, on this day, but now it's time to see whether Asuka is welcoming as well. Soon she'll open her eyes and see him, and when she does, he'll find out whether he's screwed up by stepping in on the occasion.]

[astrobleme]

[Shinji has seen many different emotions on Kaworu's face--up to and including lovesick despair--but this frenetic anxiety is something special. It's just plain adorable, that's what it is. It takes real effort on Shinji's part not to start laughing about it. They're both more than a little invested in making sure Asuka's birthday is a very good one. Equally silent, he nods encouragingly for Kaworu, and then mouths, "You're doing great." Asuka has high standards, yeah, and they're trying their best to meet them.]

I... [Shinji glances back at Asuka, his smile quirking with pride.] As a matter of fact, we wanted to do it. And you're almost there, so... [He guides Asuka to one of the chairs and helps her with carefully sitting down on it. This is a more formal setting than a picnic in the gardens, or surprising Kaworu on his ship, but being more formal has provided a good blueprint. Stepping backward, he conducts one final inspection of the table for any flaws--cake (check), plates (check), cutlery (check), jewelry box (check), candles (check). All that's left is the reveal...

With a nervous clap of his hands, he says,] Okay, you can open your eyes now!

[interstices]

[Asuka just stares. Cake, candles, plates. And Kaworu standing there. He's in on this. And what's obviously a jewelry box... her lip wobbles slightly, disbelief rampant on her face. She didn't expect half this. Especially not so nicely, so carefully done.]

[She looks from Shinji to Kaworu and then back to Shinji, looking like a bizarre cross between a caught possum and a too-pleased housecat. Her face is bright red.]

Really? You both...

[When she was a little girl, when she was really a little girl, she bought her own cake once. She was in university, shoving herself doggedly at her thesis, the date seeming to burn a hole in her gut. The cake had been expensive, the icing a sticky-sweet goop down her throat, but she'd ate it all alone, licking pink frosting off her fingers and feeling emptier with every insistent slice. Until now, she's never had a cake she wanted to share.]

The strawberries. Where did you get them? [She's standing up on automatic, hoping to ward off any birthday songs, reaching for the knife to start cutting the cake.] I've never seen that many.

[paraclete]

Shinji-kun put it together, [Kaworu says at once. He doesn't blurt it; Nagisa Kaworu doesn't blurt things anymore if he can help it. But he says it, hands sweeping down his own hips to find his pockets, a place of comfort to hide his curling fingers. Maybe what he says is its own sort of present in his own sort of way—he knows from experience that it's nice to have Shinji do things for you.

His hands are tense inside his pockets. He forces them to relax, loosens the tendons up his wrists and arms, and lets his shoulders settle. He doesn't want some youthful posture. Kaworu is determined to look undetermined, because it's something he's practiced for a very long time and he doesn't want to let go of it now. He's able to smile mildly. Usually he knows he looks pleasant, because he has learned what it is that Shinji finds pleasant; he hasn't hoped to look pleasant in some time. Now he hopes for it. But he pulls it off well, since he's spent so long emphasizing his own placidity, or at least the perception thereof.

He's able to keep smiling, to keep from looking knotted up, when he continues,] He put everything together. But he said I might help him, if I wanted to.

[Though that is, perhaps, a self-conscious justification of his presence, even as he continues with his pleasant smile.]

[astrobleme]

[Asuka's reddened face is probably the best reaction Shinji could have hoped for, all things considered. No one's a fan of embarrassment, but it's better than being disappointed or furious or downright disgusted. Shinji slowly exhales, knowing the bomb's been defused, before he finds another chair to sit on.] The strawberries... [He tugs at the cuffs of his shirt--an actual white dress shirt, the only one he owns. He wanted to dress nicely for today. His hair could use some more brushing, though.] I set up a little plot for them in the gardens. I think I'm lucky no one else got to them first. [He won't bore her with the details of specially fertilized soil and watering routines and whatever else...

Besides, he's more concerned with Kaworu's bold attempts to minimize himself. Not the most surprising thing in the world, but it's still in need of correction.]

Actually, Kaworu-kun did most of the work on your gift. It would have been a total mess without him. [Shinji pushes the jewelry box closer to Asuka, if only to give his hands more things to do. He's a bundle of nerves and nervous energy as he wonders if they should sing and then decides it's too childish for Asuka. She's so much more mature than he is. Compared to before, anyway.]

Do you want to see it now, or later?

[interstices]

[Asuka abandons the knife halfway into the cake. The smell's divine, sweet and fresh. Her cake. She's ten times more pleased now than she was when making Shinji's or helping with Kaworu's. Two people think she matters.]

[She's suddenly embarrassed about her attire. Just a plain red sundress and a pair of black leggings. Nothing special for her birthday. But Shinji's dressed up for the occasion as if she's still as important as she used to try and tell herself. She glances at Kaworu questioningly, then reaches for the jewelry box with fingers that are trembling slightly in excitement.]

[It's a charm bracelet. Silver. Every charm carefully placed and chosen. The letter A, a wrapped piece of candy... an anchor. (Shinji.) The tiny skull looks at odds with the charm of a sun smiling merrily from behind a cloud, but she doesn't mind. It suits her. It's...]

[She's barely done admiring every tiny piece before she's fiddling with the clasp. Half of her wants to ask Shinji to help her with it, though she doesn't need any help at all. The other half is still amazed that...]

You helped? [And then there's a smile, a sort of secretive smile, that bursts into something better, flashing at them both. She puts on the bracelet, fingering the charms as she manages--] You didn't have to. Neither of you. Really. I.... thank you. It's beautiful.

[paraclete]

[If Shinji's dressed too nicely, and Asuka too plain, Kaworu is closer to an eyesore, despite his handsome face. For today, he has chosen articles of colorful clothing, and he hasn't confronted the fact that he would have liked to wear something like this when he was younger. A chartreuse shirt, with a tangerine cardigan over it. Dark purple pants. Here he looks like some kind of bird. He even has the urge to wave his arms around, but he's skilled at keeping his hands in his pockets, and keeping his moods nice and temperate.

She's looking at the bracelet. The charms. She's even putting it on her wrist. Hey, what do you think? How does it feel to wear it? Do you like it? That piece Shinji-kun picked out, it's very pretty. The one next to it, I chose that one, I thought it was nice. Do you think it was nice, too? Shinji had called all of Kaworu's choices nice, and that's gratifying, but Kaworu never has to demand gratification from Shinji anymore. Being in Shinji's presence is already the ultimate relief, no matter what else is going on. With Asuka, though, Kaworu feels the way a human does when it holds its breath. He has to work harder for the breath of air, and the work and the denial feel good in a way that's separate from the goodness of actually breathing.

But she says it's beautiful, which means she must not hate it, and then she's saying thank you, too, which is exactly the oxygen Kaworu had been going without.

Throughout all of this, his heart's surrogacy of Lilin lungs, Kaworu continues to exude the weather of a tropical beach.]

It's good to have a beautiful thing. I think Shinji-kun and I both wanted that for you.

[astrobleme]

[Just as Asuka is opening up the jewelry box, Shinji is right in the middle of an impromptu internal meltdown. He could have chosen something else, something better, he thinks. He could have made something better with his own two hands. Maybe she would would have better liked another dress, or a handbag, or just anything that's actually practical and not from the bottom of a bargain bin on a waystation several thousand miles back. That doesn't mean Kaworu failed to make the best of it, of course not; it's just the overall idea came from Shinji and that wasn't any good at all. There's a gleam of silver, the flicker of candlelight, and Shinji is pretty sure he's going to cry if Asuka ends up hating--

She's draping the bracelet around her wrist. She's saying something--and the cotton quality of Shinji's hearing, thickened by anxiety, still lets him hear what it is. Didn't have to. And, Thank you. And finally, It's beautiful. Shinji just about deflates where he's sitting, that's how relieved he feels. Even presenting a gift for Kaworu's birthday was less harrowing than this. Kaworu, for better or worse, would love a pet rock if Shinji were to give him one. Asuka is much more discerning than that.]

Y-Yeah, that's... [A low sigh. His smile slipped, but it's back now.] What Kaworu-kun said. That's what we wanted. [Then he's sitting forward again, studying how the silver interacts with her pale skin. Maybe bronze or gold would have been better, but he didn't have those to work with.] We picked out the charms together, so... it's one of my charms, then one of his, back and forth like that. [It's probably obvious which charm is which. Shinji can't say he's a fan of snails, but Kaworu's snail charm is very endearing.]

[interstices]

[She's so warm inside she feels as if she's about to bubble over. Her gaze keeps darting back to the charms, like she's a little girl again enamored by her present the way only children can be. She can pick out Shinji's charms from Kaworu's easily enough without any hints. The whimsical pieces (except for the piece of candy) are his. The rest are Shinji's, carefully-chosen. She can picture him struggling to pick the right charms, so painstaking, the way he is when a seam's not quite even on a sleeve, or a pastry's too heavy or too bland or too sweet. He didn't know she wasn't expecting anything.]

I can tell.

[They did it together. A joint present. The both of them. Asuka doesn't even envy the time they spent on it-- and that's a funny feeling, not envying. She pushes back her chair and stands up abruptly, utterly without warning. Her face is still pink when she leans over, wrapping her arms around Shinji in a tight, brief hug, and a quick kiss on the cheek.] It's perfect.

[It wasn't too long ago that Kaworu's presence seemed decorative at best and sabotaging at worst. Wasn't too long ago at all. But Asuka's going up to him next, all his mismatched clothes, downright garish given his paleness, his eternally pleasant demeanor... she's giving him a hug, too, pulse jittering. It feels weird, hugging him, because it doesn't feel weird. It doesn't feel reluctant because it isn't reluctant. It's just new.]

[New isn't so bad. Like gummy jawbreakers, everything has its placne.]

[paraclete]

[Though he's come a long way and learned a lot about people, Kaworu still lacks propriety in ways that confirm he is alien. He doesn't avert his eyes when Asuka kisses Shinji's cheek; he watches what he can of their faces. He wants to see what spurs Asuka. He wants to see the sort of kindling it is for Shinji. The consequences of watching are impossible to articulate. He cannot begin to describe or quantify what it does to his innermost parts. He only knows that it reaches all the way to his foundation.

Once Asuka and Shinji are apart again, she approaches Kaworu instead. Throughout all of this, Kaworu's face has been full of moderation—he looks closer to room temperature than he actually feels. Asuka reaches him, though, and he genuinely has no idea what to expect. He opens his mouth to speak, the accommodation of his pleasant smile ready to ask her something, but she reaches for him, and then she actually embraces him. He isn't good at guessing, but he wouldn't have guessed this. It's the first time anyone but Shinji has hugged him. He doesn't know if this is allowed, if it's something he ought to be able to experience. In this insecurity, his eyes whip to Shinji's face, and though Kaworu still smiles, there is a plea in the angle of his eyebrows.

He exhales, and his eyes lower from Shinji to an arbitrary spot. He lifts his hands up behind Asuka's back, arms hooking loosely, and touches the back of each shoulder. Still he has not stopped smiling in that very mild, mellow way. But as he hugs her back, his bottom lip pinches slightly for one brief second.]

Happy birthday, [he says quietly. He can feel her heartbeat, and he can feel the way Bardiel has lingered all this while, so he lets go of her before he gets too carried away.] You're an exceptional woman, Shikinami-san. Now, you should have some of Shinji-kun's cake.

[He does consider the cake Shinji's endeavor, since his own hand in it was mostly just the clumsy following of Shinji's instructions.]

[astrobleme]

[Shinji laughs a little, startled, still a touch anxious, when Asuka folds him into an affectionate hug. Now there's no question that Asuka approves of the gift. And now he's saying something soft and intimate to her, not meant for Kaworu to hear: you're welcome, I love you, have a happy birthday. His cheeks adopt a shade of pink that almost matches the surreality of his red eyes. He smiles to himself, inwardly pleased, and Asuka lets go of him and moves on over to Kaworu.

He didn't expect her to hug Kaworu, though. It looks like Kaworu didn't expect that, either, which only someone like Shinji can glean from the subtleties of Kaworu's facial expression. The tension is there in the angle of Kaworu's eyebrows; he looks like he's sending a distress signal, all hands on deck. Shinji blinks a few times, unsure of himself, before he realizes what Kaworu is asking: yes, yeah, of course it's okay if he hugs her back. Shinji even brings up his arms in some awkward approximation of a hug. Like this, he indicates silently. Jeez...

It's only natural to prepare himself for jealousy, for some hypocritical and territorial machismo that he hates a lot--but that isn't what happens. Kaworu and Asuka embrace each other, and Shinji can't put into words what he does feel. "You're an exceptional woman," Kaworu says, which Shinji never imagined hearing him say to anyone ever. Something clicks into place after that. It's the teeth of two gears finally catching and beginning to turn. If this is going to happen, then this is exactly how it has to happen, as confusing as that is. Shinji should allow whatever this is to grow and keep growing.

He looks away, albeit reluctantly. They're very beautiful together.]

Kaworu-kun helped me pick the strawberries, you know. He's pretty good at figuring out which ones are ripe, but not too ripe.

[Exhaling all at once, he pushes himself up and retrieves the carving knife. It won't be long before all three of them have plates laden with large slices of the cake. The frosting his especially sweet and thick, which might be Shinji's favorite part. Birthday cakes are still such a novelty for him. For everyone here, really.]

[interstices]

Oh... [Asuka nods, still just surveying her piece with no slight amount of wonder. Real strawberries. Not freeze-dried or imitation. And knowing Shinji, real butter and maybe eggs. She takes her first bite without hesitation. The strawberries, sweet and firm with a hint of give, are a sweet explosion of flavor, paired perfectly with the cake and frosting. She tries not to be a pig about her slice-- there's still plenty to go around, after all.]

[Kaworu's compliment is still taking her aback moments later, while she's basking in Shinji's. An exceptional woman. It's unbelievable that he'd say that about her. It's too kind and too inaccurate. But on her birthday, she can accept it. Even now, it's far too easy to accept the electric sort of (recognition) warmth that came around when she hugged Kaworu, and how it only differs from Shinji's in intensity. She's softening like a rock in a tumbler. She'll have to stop that or she'll wreck herself.]

It's really, really good. I didn't think... I didn't expect anything.

[paraclete]

[Kaworu, who often likes to eat things seemingly without a second thought, is slow when it comes to eating cake. He enjoys letting the frosting melt in his mouth, and the frosting Shinji makes is especially good for that. Granted, Kaworu doesn't really have any other frame of reference, but he doesn't think he needs one, either. A mouthful of frosting from anyone else, anywhere else, and with anyone else just wouldn't meet the standards these recent birthday cakes have set.

While he's been enjoying his frosting, and some strawberries along with it, Kaworu has had his eyes closed. But now he opens them, and—thankfully—swallows before making an announcement of great faith:]

I'm beginning to wonder if the unexpected isn't always so fraught.

[He prods his fork into some more frosting, this time even catching some cake along with it. Then he says, more decisive this time,] It's good to celebrate. I've had fun celebrating with the both of you, so I hope it's fun for you, too. It's nice to be... [He sticks the forkful of cake into his mouth, maybe ruining his ethereal image, as he says,] Together.