driftfleet | (no subject)

[ eh?

he's just confused at first, wondering what part of that was so funny... before he just relaxes, and smiles a little despite himself. well, at least he doesn't have that gloomy, anxious expression on anymore. that's a relief. ]

If you say so, captain. [ ... huh. wait. ] So there were Nine Kings... which one were you?

Oh... [he sniffs, finally relaxing... he hesitates before giving his answer, but only because he's trying to decide whether making him guess which one he is would be better or worse.] ...The scary-sounding one. I am Riem, the King of Suffering, with dominion over pain.

... oh.

[ ... he scratches his cheek. ]

That's weird. Why did you fix my wrist, then? Wouldn't you like pain?

[there's a definite pause where he does not say the words, "oh, it was delicious."

good job, Robin. you're really a pro. he swivels his captain's chair towards Riku instead, bringing his legs up to sit on them.]

Yes, kind of... But there's more to it than that. My realm isn't just pain, it's... the lack of it, too. Apathy, numbness. One can't understand pain until they have felt joy, and one doesn't know true comfort until they have suffered. Pain can make people strong, one's person's pain can benefit hundreds of others, but... Sometimes people suffer needlessly. That's what I'm alive for, to give and to take.

[he shrugs.] But if I'm being honest, I fixed your wrist because it was stupid and you should have seen someone about it ages ago. I'm Robin before I'm Riem, here.

[ what does robin probably not expect?

riku making an offended face. ]

There were more important things to do, like save worlds.

[ but! he calms. ]

But... I think I get it. It's balance.

[he raises an eyebrow, just a bit, to that first part... but he'll save the argument for another day. the... main point is that Riku is being very calm about something that usually freaks people out. a lot.]

That's right. It's hard to do out here... I don't even know if there's a place for a creature such as myself out here. The void doesn't call out for me like my world did...

[his gaze goes out the window, of course, out into the black of night...]

I understand.

[ he frowns at him, and then looks down. ]

As a Keyblade Master, I'm not really... like you--I'm not like a force of nature. I guess... I'm more like a counterweight. But I can't do that here, either. I guess you just have to look at details instead of the big picture for now, since you can't do much about it.

What does a "Keyblade Master" do, if I might ask?

[it sounds pretty cool... but it could be anything. he'd been meaning to ask since Riku first mentioned it to him months ago.]

[ his shoulders scrunch before he just sighs; brushing his hair back, he shakes his head.

he's not supposed to talk about it. he was supposed to protect world order!

... but...

at the same time. what world order is there to protect, he suddenly wonders. everyone knows they're from different worlds... so what can he really protect but the people themselves? and isn't knowledge the best form of protection? he muddles on this, curling into himself a little tighter.

robin's given his story. he should give his. ]

A Keyblade wielder protects all worlds.

[ he starts there, quiet. ]

We're supposed to keep the balance between Light and Darkness, keep the worlds safe, and make sure the people of all worlds can live in peace. Masters do that, too, but you're supposed to pass a special test. If you pass, you get the title of 'Master' and you can explore the world for yourself, or you can teach... I'm pretty sure you can do both if you want.

Right now, I'm trying to learn everything I can, so I can help stop a war before it starts. At least, I was, before I was pulled here.

[he considers all of this for a moment, in that quiet way of his... but, whatever he's thinking, only one conclusion leaves him:]

That's a lot of responsibility.

[ riku mulls on his response to that.

he hasn't even told sora yet that he didn't really want this. the whole purpose of taking the test was to find out if he was worthy of wielding, not worthy of mastership. he'd never intended to pass the test with flying colors! when he'd passed and sora hadn't, it'd been a big shock.

yet, it's childish. it's so childish, and of all things, riku is terrified of letting others down. so, he stares at his cup, keeps his posture, and mumbles; ]

I guess.

[ he knows it is. part of him doesn't even want this responsibility, but he can't reject it. he knows he can't. he has to do what's expected of him. ]

[he admits that he doesn't know an awful lot about Riku. his world (or worlds) seem very strange to him. he has magic, but he hasn't seen him use it. he keeps to himself, even when he's around other people. like him, he'd probably prefer to pass through life as a ghost. never hurt anyone, never be hurt. never miss anyone, never be missed.

and never dream, because good dreams are for people who have futures and potential.]

...You know, when I was your age, I was quite enamored with my older brother, Crow. He isn't--wasn't my real brother, but we all called each other brother and sisters back then, all nine of us. We were just starting to realize that we had a grand destiny ahead of us, and he was always so... Confident, and so cunning. Strong, too. He blew me away when it came to spell-casting, hunting, everything.

He acted like I didn't exist, of course. Liked to keep me at the bottom of the rank so that I'd do anything to win his favor... But I adored him. I wanted to be him, believe in him. I would have followed him to the end of the world, once.

[he sighs, looking down at the hands in his lap. it's funny how his knuckles are shaped against the rest of his hands, how veins seem to split right under them. he designed these hands himself, with another's hands in mind.]

Something was always wrong with him. I think I knew from the day I met him that one day, something terrible would happen. He killed the others, and would have killed me, too, if Finch hadn't gotten in the way of it. I still remember what it felt like, thousands of years ago, to reach out with magic and break all of his bones.

[he... hasn't realized how quiet he's gotten. but it's a quiet bridge. everyone else is still asleep.]

I have terrible nightmares about him, even still. He never grows any older, but I still cower before him like a child. It seems foolish, but I still think... Perhaps, if I had said something sooner, it never would have happened. If I'd gotten there earlier, my siblings would not be dead. If I'd stood up to him, then, my world would still be whole.

Perhaps it is good that I'm not there. [a beat.] I don't know.

[ he sounds like sora, and riku feels like he's too far away and robin's lost in a fog. he's too far away and his chest clenches hard out of guilt. ]

I know the feeling.

[ it's soft, but heavy, like knees dropping out from underneath you.

he parts his lips to speak, a secret ready to be divulged, and just as easily, he withers and pulls back. no. robin's the one who had a nightmare. sure, he had one too, but this isn't about him. it's about robin. he needs to stop being selfish.

what good is a heart when all it does is want to reach out to people, when you can't and know it? ]

But I think your world--any world, could benefit from you, you know? I saw how you were when we first met... and I know you've been changing, little by little. So, I believe in you.

[ and he smiles, gentle. ]

If you keep thinking of 'what if', though, you'll never get anywhere. You'll be stuck in the past. You've gotta move forward.

[...he's never really talked about this with anyone. he's never been close enough, or when he was, he was in no state to explain. his mind is free, here. Crow is far away, so long as he's awake. Riku's words have room to sink in, nestle deep in his chest.

it's comforting. he looks up at Riku. his posture is hunched, but not guarded. he looks a little like he did in his true form, bent over to stay small.]

Tell me about your dream. [he says it with a small smile himself.] I want to hear about it.

Wh--

[ riku stares at him with wide eyes, and then sharply shakes his head. ]

My nightmare, you mean? I... [ don't know how you'll react. and how can he come clean that it's three seperate nightmares that run altogether in his head, repeating themselves? which will he say? the one that's most frequent is his possession. ]

... I'm used to it, don't worry.

[he continues smiling. so much for the mutual rule of giving each other space...]

Dominion of pain, remember?

[ his shoulders slump, and he runs a hand through his hair again, making his bedhead all the worse. he's not sure he wants to share his dream about possession... not yet. it's too raw, and riku feels too vulnerable, like he's bleeding out even thinking of talking to someone about it. ]

... I dream that I'm fighting the man who started all of this--his name's Master Xehanort. He's the one that possessed me [ he'd like to explain the whole heartless-nobody nonsense but let's be real no one needs to go through that ] and did so much damage to all the worlds. I dream that Sora and Kairi and I, we're fighting him, but I can't get close enough to protect them. Them, or any of our other friends.

[ he curls in tighter to himself, bowing his head. ]

... he gets to them, and I can't help. He--

[ riku's voice catches in his throat and he inhales sharply, before closing his eyes and just shaking his head. he can't even speak it. ]

I'm... the only one left, so I try to fight him, because if I win--at least the worlds are safe. And if I lose, I don't really lose. At least I'd be with them, too.

[he's quiet, for a moment... out of respect for how traumatic it must be. he's a little amazed that Riku gave in and told him anything. you'd think this would be the time for kind words, or sympathy, or a moment of sorrowful reflection...

but instead, he says in a perfectly casual tone:] Okay, so if I... Gave you a hug, right now, would you freak out or anything?

[ a sigh. ]

I don't care if you touch me as long as you don't touch my back.

Oh. You sound so unenthused...

[this is not the time for his weird brand of humor, but still... after a moment of thought, he sits up straighter. his voice regains some of that softness from earlier, at least.]

May I show you something? A memory. I can give it to you.

[he touches his own forehead. implying the transfer.]

[ riku hesitates, before he nods and leans slightly forward. ]

Okay... sure.

[he smiles. he loves this, enough to push away his fear and his insecurity--he stands up, crossing the short way over to Riku. he leans over him, one hand braced on the back of the pilot's chair.

he cranes his neck forward so that he can touch their foreheads together and--there's a little breath from somewhere inside, a moment where it's the both of them, existing very quietly in the same empty, nebulous something. Robin is very open, here... it's something he does to not betray the trust of the one he's "speaking" with. it's polite. trusting. if Riku wanted to come into his thoughts, he could.

but first, Robin has a present for him... he slowly pours a flood of colors into Riku's awareness from his memories. he paints a picture that unfurls like a flag, spreads like wildflowers.

flowers... yes, that's it. a field of beautiful flowers. tall grass, green and lush and soft. warm air, soaking into his skin. it smells so alive, this late spring day, clean with the scent of the river to the east. he's very happy, laying still and calm on flowers in small white and large orange and bright blues and dark purples.

birds are singing, of course. darting around over his head, chasing each other.

he wanted to show him something nice, he tells him. or maybe Riku just knows--but sometimes thoughts like this, thoughts full of light and warmth and good memory, help keep the nightmares away.]

[ at first, riku hesitates. unlike robin, riku is closed off with mile-high walls. it's the price you pay once you've been possessed once--you take no chances.

but, robin isn't forcing himself in, he isn't intruding, so riku shyly starts to step out of his barrier, for scenery to paint itself around him.

this kind of lush landscape can't be found on destiny islands, and he's never stayed long enough in one world to relax and find this kind of place.

riku has a small amount of good memories, and most of them are tarnished with thoughts of darkness and jealousy and never measuring up, but this...

he just relaxes, even if he feels his throat close up. it's beautiful to watch, to feel... and nevertheless, it's calming. riku certainly isn't as tense as he was a minute ago. he reaches one hand up, to grasp at robin's shoulder, to keep himself steady. ]

[Robin is very steady, in the real world. he even manages to put a hand over that mug--which might have gone tipping elsewhere had he not been paying attention. it flickers through his awareness and then is gone, smoothed over by the sound of leaves rustling. children laughing, somewhere, far away.

but they can't stay there forever. he pulls the memory back, wrapping it up again. letting it fade away enough that it won't be too jarring when he pulls away--and they're both suddenly in two physical bodies again. very separate. just them and the constant hum of the ship.

he's looking down at Riku with a little smile on his face.]

You can borrow that one. It's probably better than a hug anyway.

[ when riku falls back into his own body, he blinks fast.

he's too out of it to notice that he held onto robin for balance, and when he notices he's still doing it... he blushes brightly and pulls back, bracing his cup with both hands again. ]

O-oh. Uh, okay. It is pretty nice...

... thanks.