driftfleet | video/action/glitches/FUN

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video/action/glitches/FUN

Who: Jaime Lannister and YOU
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: Siourew
When: during The Glitchening

A. Insomnia: It's What's For Breakfast | Video | in the Bloodsport's kitchen

[ He has no idea he's being recorded. He has no idea why he's here either. Here, in the larger sense of on this ship, in the fleet, floating through space or here in the simpler sense of in this bloody kitchen. Prior to his arrival here, he'd hardly set foot in a kitchen, and it certainly hadn't been to cook.

He has to assume that assigning him to such duty here was someone's idea of a joke. And not a very funny one, in his opinion.

Even with the technical knowledge of how to do the job right there, strangely, in his mind, he's not very good at it. Knowing how to do something and actually being able to do it well are totally different things. And cooking, like everything else, is made all the more difficult by having only one hand.

Still, he's never been one to concede defeat easily. So when he finds himself tossing and turning, unable to sleep, too restless even to sit still, all but aching with the need to do something, he ventures into the kitchen. It may be hours yet before anyone else is awake, but they'll be wanting breakfast, right?

Anyone watching will see a one-handed man fumbling around the kitchen, dropping things, cursing a lot, and probably making one hell of a mess. If you're lucky, you might even get to see him throw a spatula or punch a microwave. Whatever the case, it's bound to be entertaining. ]

B. Let's Go For A Walk (Around the Planet) | Action | Siourew Wilderness

[ He's bored. He's walked every inch of the ship, explored its every nook and cranny, practiced his way through the entire menu of available foodstuffs (not that it's done any good, mind), tossed and turned and touched himself. Hell, he even resorted to reading - briefly, before he got bored with that too.

The opportunity to explore a new world is more than welcome. And when he learns how much of it is vast, open wilderness, it's even better. He can't help but smile at the sight of trees and rocks and water. Real trees too. Maybe this is what he's been missing. Maybe this is what he needs.

He can't relax, though. Even hours later, when the muscles in his legs are screaming, he can't bring himself to stop. He has to keep going. And going and going and going. He only pauses when he finds himself atop a cliff, looking out over the... is it an ocean? a lake? Who cares? It's a beautiful, pristine, shimmering body of water, and suddenly he feels compelled to jump in. From right here. Maybe take a running leap...

Depending on your timing, you may encounter Jaime hiking feverishly through the mountains, compulsively picking wildflowers and chasing native animals across the fields, or contemplating quite literally taking a flying leap. ]

C. Haunted | Video | Bloodsport

[ He's not very good with this thing, so the video's slightly out of focus and he's slightly out of frame, and for a long moment, he just sits there, unsure where to begin. Addressing a large number of people while actually sitting alone, talking to a small box is a very odd concept, even knowing - intellectually - how it works. ]

I just think you all should know that there is someone very dangerous on board this ship. Someone who may want us all dead.

[ Someone who doesn't seem to like him making this broadcast...

The last thing the video shows is Jaime's stony expression as he looks at something just beyond the camera and slowly stands, reaching for something... ]

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[ Catelyn had little business to be up rambling about, it is true. But when she closes her eyes she is tormented by an endless barrage of memories, and they all hurt. So there is no respite in sleep, and she lets her feet carry her where they will, trusting that she will eventually find her way back where she belongs.

She does not initially recognize the scent she smells as food, exactly, but it is enough to catch her attention. Someone else cannot sleep, or perhaps simply does not need to. She does not expect to see Jaime Lannister, of all people, and such is her surprise that she speaks before she thinks. ]

What are you doing?

~~pssst this one's video, but nbd. It's being broadcast to everyone, so it still works :3~~

[ The voice startles him, and he drops his spoon again. He wasn't expecting to find anyone else on the other end of this stupid voice, which was apparently recording and broadcasting his ~~embarrassing~~ efforts. Splendid. ]

I'm cooking breakfast.

[ He bends to retrieve his spoon, shooting her a look, daring her to laugh at him. ]

[ ~~well, crap. I guess I'll try and tag you back then.~~ ]

What are you cooking? Or, should I say, trying to cook?

Eggs.

[ He pokes at the yellowish lump of stuff and frowns. ]

What are you doing up at this hour?

[ That stuff looks like no egg she has ever laid eyes on, but she is just too polite to say so. Barely. ]

I find I can't sleep in this place. What about you?

[ It's not out of the ordinary to find Theon Greyjoy awake at this hour. He doesn't sleep well, so he spends his time reading or perusing the network before the rest of his crew wakes up. Today, he finds a more hilarious display than he imagined, and he watches for a moment, both amused and interested in what's become of Jaime Lannister. ]

What's become of your hand, kingslayer?

[ They're no malice in his voice; just light amusement, curiosity, and that hint of a rasp that becomes a permanent presence in any weary man. Jaime is unlikely to recognize Theon as Balon Greyjoy's son upon first glance. They only met once, and Theon looked rather different then. Now, he's thinner, white-haired, with splinters for teeth and several missing fingers. It looks like they've both been through the ringer. ]

[ He glares at the man on-screen. He can't quite place him, but he's obviously someone else from home. Who else would call him that? ]

I seem to have misplaced it.

[ His response is dry, utterly devoid of any of Theon's amusement. He has not gotten off on the right foot here. ]

Of all the things to misplace.

[ He only smirks, unfazed by Jaime’s glare. There was a time when such a small thing would be enough to throw him into a downward spiral of self-hate, but what is a glare when you’ve already experienced the worst? ]

You don’t recognize me, do you? I was there at the Whispering Wood with Robb Stark. When he captured you.

[ You don’t need to know how much he boasted about almost crossing swords with the Kingslayer afterwards, buddy… ]

[ He gives the young man a closer look, trying to place him... And it's that smirk that doesn't. ]

Ah, yes. Now I remember.

[ He had urged Robb Stark to kill him and done it gleefully. He'd been having the time of his life. ]

Looks like things went a bit downhill after that.

[ For both of them. ]

[ If only Robb had listened, too. You wouldn’t have to worry about being down one hand now, Jaime. ]

For you? Clearly.

[ Again, he smirks. He knows how he looks, but it’s just easier to totally diss Jaime Lannister. ]

Tell me how you lost your hand and I’ll tell you how I lost my fingers.

[Kitty is sitting on the highest sturdy branch of a tall tree, just admiring the landscape as it spreads around here when she hears movement and then spots a man picking flowers not so far away. She watches for a moment before calling down.]

Leaving any for the rest of us?

[ He turns, somewhat startled, then smiles up at the girl in the tree. ]

I think there are plenty. [ He waves a hand, encompassing the vast, open field. Then he raises his good hand, with all the flowers he's collected. ]

You can have these, if you want them.

[She smiles at that reply.] That's sweet, but I didn't get you anything.

[ He frowns slightly. She seems to have misunderstood. ]

Well, I didn't pick them for you, specifically. I was just... [ shrug ] picking them.

I was kidding. I'm aware you don't know who I am or that I was here. Although if you didn't and you were still picking them for me that would be extremely impressive.

You're from the fleet, right? [They tend to stand out from the locals and even more so here.]

[ he's not exactly the sort of company margaery has been anticipating. she is picking flowers, herself. the day is warm and pleasant and she rather likes this planet, its vastness and wild beauty. overall, it has been peaceful as of late.

she should have known, it's never meant to last.

she recognizes him at once. her smile is brilliant and almost sincere. ]

You are very far from home, Ser.

[ He smiles in return. It's good to see her here, in this open field full of flowers, peaceful and radiant. It's a vast improvement over the last time he saw her. ]

So are you. But perhaps that's not such a bad thing.

I have been plucked from home for twelve moon cycles, Ser.

[ an entire year that has come and gone. she doesn't know if it's an advantage, however. she knows so little of the nature of the world. she can hardly explain this to him even after so much time has passed. ]

I would have greeted you sooner, had I known you are here. Freshly arrived?

Quite. [ He nods, wondering in the back of his mind if he'll wind up being here as long as she has. ]

I don't suppose in your time here you've learned anything about how we came to be here?

[ He can't even begin to imagine, himself. ]

[There's a horse trotting along through the meadows with (if anyone's an expert on equine expressions) a thoroughly foul look on its face. Maybe because it's not actually a horse, but a shapeshifter whose powers are currently malfunctioning thus trapping her in current horse form. Gemini's trying with all her might to force herself back into human shape but so far without success, so she's stuck as a thoroughbred stallion complete with reins and saddle.

She halts when another animal bolts from the undergrowth, baring her teeth (because while she might be trapped looking like a horse she refuses to act horse,) and glaring first at the animal and then at the man who shoots out after it.]

[ Jaime stops in his track, forgetting all about the strange, little bird-thing because a much more interesting creature has wandered into view.

He'd have been interested enough if it was just a horse, but it's not. It's a horse that's behaving very strangely. And rather than be off-put, he is concerned.

Frowning, he approaches the animal, slowly and carefully, treading softly. ]

It's all right. I won't hurt you...

Edited 2017-02-17 04:16 (UTC)

[One equine eye is open a bit wider than the other, because were she human Gemini would have an eyebrow raised and horses don't have eyebrows so that's the best she can currently do.

She's looking him up and down, and luckily for her she can still speak in this form, so a moment later a feminine voice rings out cool, clear and grumpy from the horse's mouth.]

Yeah, like hell you will.

_{[ The woods were meant to offer solace. For all that his soul felt most at home among the stars, his body needed the surety of gravity and the smell of something natural once in awhile. Metal and technology was well and good, but a body wasn't a machine, and to live inside one could grow tiresome. And so to the woods he had gone, seeking a recharge for body and spirit, especially after the raiding event.

That was what he had gone seeking anyways.

It didn't happen often, but now and then he thought he heard it - screaming. He would turn and run towards it, pushed by his natural instinct to protect, wondering if they didn't sound familiar. He would hear them and they would stop, then come again what felt like hours later as he tromped up the gentle mountain slopes. It was one of these moments, hurrying towards the faint echoes of his past, that he came upon Jamie contemplating one of his leaps of faith.

He forgot the screams in an instant, changing course to charge towards the tall blond, reaching out to try and grab his shirt and try to tug him back. ]}

That's a cliff you know!

[ The tug at his shirt sends him stumbling backward, and he nearly falls on his ass. Once he's recovered, he shoots the man a look that very clearly says, "What the fuck, man?" ]

So it is. And that [ He points ] is a tree.

_{[ Kirk gave him a look in return, not quite at all sorry for nearly
toppling the man backward. ]}

You were just rather close to the edge and had an... expression.

_{[ He glanced around them briefly. ]}

Something just seemed off in this forest. I didn't want to risk it was affecting you too.

Well, I'm fine.

[ He smooths a wrinkle from his jumpsuit and frowns. What the fuck is he talking about? ]

I'm pretty sure nothing's... affecting me.

_{[ Well that's some thanks for... not saving your life. Okay, maybe he was acting a little strange, but there was something off here. He could feel it. He knew it. ]}

Well, either way, maybe keep your distance. Never can tell if the edges are stable or not - and that kind of luck tends to follow people in the Fleet it feels like.

In all of her imaginings of Jamie Lannister, she never would believe that he would be capable of picking flowers, as though he were some maiden in the valley. He had always been riding proudly, glimmering in the sunlight like the gold that filled his family's pockets. When she was a girl, it had thrilled her heart to look at him. He had been everything young girls dreamed of, handsome and seemingly chiseled by the gods.

Older now, and having been touched by real love, it was easy to see that her early infatuation had been nothing more than the sweet imaginings of childhood. Comparing Jamie to Robb, he did not quite match up to her expectations. All she felt now when she saw him was fear, fear for what he might know and what might be said.

She didn't even notice his missing hand, not yet. "My lord?" Would he even know who she was? Tyrion had, but he was a rare lord. He even remembered her brother, something that showed how considerate he was.

To be fair, he wouldn't normally be picking flowers in the meadow like some maiden. It was just that they happened to be here and he felt... compelled, for some reason. He doesn't really even think about it until he hears her voice and realizes he's not alone.

Then he turns, somewhat embarrassed, caving to the stupid impulse to hide the flowers behind his back. Like that will fool her. Idiot.

"Yes?" he says, as casually as possible. He's not doing anything odd. Not at all.

He frowns slightly as he considers her plainly pretty face. "Do I know you?" He's sure he does, but he can't quite place her...

It was a strange sight to see the son of Tywin Lannister picking flowers as though he were a maiden. Winning garlands in jousts seemed more appropriate for him, yet here he was picking beautiful wildflowers. How long until he hummed or sang to himself while he gathered bouquets.

She smiled at him in amusement. "It is a rather nice day for exploring the meadows." a nicer way to point out what he was doing. Subtle, meant to spare his pride.

She didn't know how to feel at the question. While she hadn't expected him to recognize her, it was still a bit disappointing to know that she and her family had made little of an impression. She had been fully aware of him growing up, giggling and gossiping with her friends. It was strange to think of herself that way. Not much time had passed, but she had changed greatly.

"I am of House Westerling, my lord."

[Okay, that's a creepy video.

Being a glitchy narcoleptic of late means she hasn't really had time to touch base with her newest crew member, so she's really not sure how to take this. Either he's glitching (because everyone is) or he's delusional to begin with or... there actually is something on board the ship. Who knows.

Any which way, it doesn't really matter. She gets to her feet and goes padding through the ship until she finds him.]

[ When she finds him, he's stalking through the halls with a kitchen knife in his good hand and a look of murderous determination on his face. He starts to raise the knife before he realizes who it is he's run into. ]

Oh, good. It's you. [ He's obviously relieved. ]

You know everyone on this ship, right? Have you seen anyone who doesn't belong here?

[She'll take half a second to get her hackles up over meeting him carrying a knife, but luckily the relieved look that follows is enough to quash her paranoia. All the same, she blinks at him for a few moments before she shakes her head.]

...no. Not so far, anyway. Who is it you think is on board?

Is it your lord father, Kingslayer?

[ He frowns, perplexed. ]

Of course not.

[ Why in the world would he think that? ]

Truly? We have your sister, and now you as well. It would only be logic that the lords of Atroma would send him here.

[Robb can truly be a bitter young man and it absolutely shows.]

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video/action/glitches/FUN

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A, video;

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C - voice

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