driftfleet | Look - up in the sky...!

Suddenly, the SS Pathstone and the SS Golden begin to move on their own... slowly, calmly, they drift to two different points, a certain distance apart, away from the other ships of the fleet. Then, just as slowly, they turn to face each other.

And that is all the warning there is before the engines engage -- full speed ahead.

Like a pair of rockets, the ships torpedo toward each other, perfectly lined up for a head-on collision, and there is nothing to stop them. No matter what buttons the crews press, no matter how much they might panic, nothing is going to stop the inevitable. Any other ships watching will not have time to attempt any sort of interception.

CRASH!!

As if to shield spectators' eyes from the horrors of ships colliding in space, there's a blinding light upon impact -- and once it gradually fades, the results can be clearly seen by all: There is no wreckage. Nothing is broken. But where there were once two ships... now there's only one.

One ship that is... very clearly made up of parts from the SS Pathstone and the SS Golden, but somehow seems well put together, at least!

-----------

On the bridge, the crews of the SS Golden and the SS Pathstone arrive, along with the usual pop! of Atroma confetti and ridiculous jingle music upon a successful shuffle. Sitting in the captain's chair is a round cake, just large enough for everyone to have one slice. There's a single candle, and the following message scribbled on top in yellow icing:

"Congratulations - SS Goldstone!
Happy Fusion!"

... What, did you think you were going to die? Sorry about that.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, you've got to admit it'd be tempting to just do away with my competition.

[l o l he'd be fished out immediately, no fear there.]

And I really can't discourage temptation, then I'd be going against my own nature and that's far too meta for even me.

You're all about temptation, huh. [Here she thought demons weren't so literal.] I guess that explains why you run a bar to begin with.

Well, yes, Serpent of Eden and all.

[He grins. ]

You know, that's only partly it. Mostly I run a bar because I like people-watching. What better place to enjoy observing the highs and lows of humanity than in a bar?

Serpent of Eden doesn't mean anything to me, sadly. But that second part I think we have in common.

A fact that is depressingly common in places like this. [His one claim to fame :( ]

Glad you see it that way, too. There's nothing quite like it. All the joys, sadness and moments of complete drunken insanity, all in one room. It's great.

Hey, you learn the most about people when they're at least halfway to being smashed. It's good for my line of work in general. [Bartender, thief, pirate. Whatever.]

You really do. In vino veritas and all that.

So what's the story of the Serpent of Eden?

[Nami you've made him so happy! ]

Okay. So when the Big Guy created the world, he made this beautiful Garden, called Eden. In it, he put the first two humans, Adam and Eve. They could have whatever they wanted there, never felt pain, never had to worry about anything.

But there was this apple tree in the Garden. The fruit carried Knowledge, and the Big Guy told Adam and Eve they could never, ever eat the apples from it.

...I have a vague inkling about where this story might be going.

Don't spoil it.

Anyway. The enemy of the Big Guy decided he wanted to ruin the human race for...complicated reasons. So he sent one of his agents up there to deal with the problem. Enter me: the Serpent. Now I didn't really want to destroy them, didn't even know that was the actual job. I was told to cause trouble so I did.

I pointed out to Eve that the Knowledge Fruit really should be eaten. That if He didn't really want it to be eaten, then He wouldn't have put it in plain sight.

...this is a line that would totally have worked on me.

Disobeying your Big Guy this one time was enough to ruin the human race? [Wow.]

It would be for most humans to be honest. Natural curiosity.

Unfortunately. Or perhaps, rather, it made you. Eve ate the Apple, shared it with Adam and the Big Guy kicked them out of Eden, naked, and Eve up the duff. He told her because she ate the Apple, pregnancy and birth would be painful and awful which was just rude and off they went into the world.

...okay, no offence but your Big Guy sounds like a complete asshole. [Talk about the punishment not fitting the crime.] It sounds like he dared them to do it in the first place, besides.

None taken, because that's exactly how I see it. I mean, seriously, why have it there at all if He doesn't plan for them to eat it? He's omnipotent, after all.

So he set the human race up to fail, basically. Or was it a whole obedience thing? Sounds pretty similar to the only God I've ever met anyway.

Hard to tell, really. He does have a tendency to fuck over...well, just about everyone. I'm not a fan.

[Fuck you, Dad :|]

So is that the sort of thing you did on a regular basis? Pop up next to human beings and say "Hey go on, you know you really want to?"

That's exactly what I did, right up until Paradisa scooped me up. Temptation is sort of my gig. Was.

Did you ever get anything for doing that apart from satisfaction?

A few commendations from Hell. A nice, fat paycheck.

Sounds like you get paid for having a lot of fun.

[Her kind of gig, tbh.]

Pretty much.

Unfortunately there was a lot of bureaucracy to go with it and less than savoury workmates, so-

Less than savoury workmates. I feel you there.

The more traditional kind of demon? [Mind you, she only has Sam's tales to go by on that. As far as she knows, there are no demons in her world.]

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