004. video + action.

[astrobleme]

Who: Shinji Ikari and you?!
Broadcast: Fleetwide.
Action: Any ship in the Fleet, beginning with the Heron.
When: Throughout the week.

[network.]

[Shinji has felt like total crap for weeks and weeks now, after that unexpected attack on the Fleet's ships... but the curtain of despair suddenly lifts one morning, for no apparent reason at all. He's a little bewildered about feeling okay, if not good, if not great, and he spends the first day catching up on the laundry that he's been neglecting.

But then it kind of maybe spirals out of control. He's filled with determination to clean--not just his own clothes or his own room, but every unwashed pile of clothes and every messy room he comes across. He doesn't really notice his own hyperactivity; he just wants to clean and clean and clean until not a speck of dust or engine grease remains. He sweeps through the Heron, to begin with, and then he branches out...]

Hey, [he says, coming into view on the feed. He's a little blurry at first, with softly glowing lights all around him, which soon resolve into... fireflies?] Have you seen these things yet? They're called cleaning bugs! And they're freaking awesome. The Co'kal made them--they can deep-clean anything, no problem, and... [Shinji is practically ranting and raving about these inventions he found in his quest to clean everything.]

If there's something you need me to clean, let me know, okay? I'll take care of it right away. Or my new friends will.


[action, aboard various ships in the Fleet.]

[Needless to say, Shinji can be found pretty much anywhere in the Fleet, on any crew's ship or the Iskaulit, waging war against uncleanliness. Don't mind him if he decides your kitchen needs a good scrub down, or your bunks, or your bathrooms, or even the engine room. He's constantly accompanied by a halo of cleaning bugs that change colors depending on the amount of dirt nearby.

They may even decide to target a person that they've deemed a little too dirty...]

Comments

[astrobleme]

[Shinji feels like he's more than a little short of breath. Naturally, he's hanging on to Kaworu's every word, but there's something especially enrapturing about this much. Maybe it's the doting touches that go along with the flattery, with those fingers on his chin, then his mouth, and Shinji having to resist the impulse to close his eyes. Maybe this is what it feels like to be hypnotized. Kaworu could tell him to do anything--anything--anything at all--and Shinji would follow through on it.]

I guess that means I shouldn't shave my head, [Shinji murmurs jokingly.] I wouldn't want to deprive you of all that... [His hair has gotten kind of long, though, falling past his ears, creeping closer to his shoulders. Any longer than that and he'll be able to pull it back into a real ponytail, just like Kaji-san used to have--he always thought that was cool-looking. Not to mention, it feels really good when Kaworu drags his fingers through his hair or else gets a good grip on it when they're in a clinch.

It makes him wonder if he could change his hair on a whim, too. Or his hands. Or the sound of his voice. If he were strong enough, maybe he could find a way around the Curse of Eva and actually grow up. The possibilities are overwhelming for how endless they are. As a human, Shinji didn't believe he had any potential whatsoever; as an Angel, he might have too damn much.

And Kaworu is still cradling his face with obvious delight...]

Kaworu-kun, I want you to teach me everything.

[That's a different plea from before, when he only wanted to learn how to protect Kaworu with his A.T. Field.]

[paraclete]

[Meanwhile, Kaworu's hair is unmanageable. That is, Kaworu himself can't manage it. It's undeniably similar to how he kept it (unkempt) in his youth—though even a little longer than that, it's wild in just the same way, sticking out or sweeping at different angles, cowlicks abound. Kaworu never tries to do anything with it. He doesn't want to look at it any more than he has to, because he doesn't want to find adolescence in the mirror. His hair, then, is perpetually messy, even if he manages to give it an artistic air.

Shinji's hair, in comparison, is beautiful in its novelty. Each centimeter it grows is a centimeter longer than Kaworu has ever seen it. He wonders if Shinji is going to let it grow forever; he wonders what Shinji's hair will look like in ten or twenty years. It's a thrilling question. He dares a little more each day to think about it, to commit to the idea that their togetherness is going to stay this way.

Right now, Kaworu is tucking some of that pretty brown hair behind Shinji's ear.] Whatever you do with your hair, Shinji-kun, I'll end up being swept up in its beauty. I already know that. [He thumbs along the start of Shinji's jaw, and then the softest part of his ear.

His next question has enough to do with Shinji's abilities to keep it from being entirely self-indulgent. But...]

Shinji-kun, when you're near me, can you recognize my soul? Does it feel like something?

[astrobleme]

[Shinji has tried--and largely failed, it looks like--to get Kaworu in the habit of brushing that unruly hair. He likes it, though, no matter how long or how messy it is. More and more, it reminds him of someone he can't quite put his finger on. Maybe a movie star or an idol from his early years. In any case, he's more focused on maintaining the color of his eyes and hoping for a positive reaction. He wouldn't know what to do without Kaworu being there to guide him forward.]

Your soul...

[His ear is tingling where Kaworu just touched it. He tries not to let that distract him--even though spending the rest of the day in bed, letting Kaworu touch him all over, would be less stressful than most things. He bites lightly at the corner of lips, wondering how to describe in words what he can sense innately. It started out as a faint funny feeling at the back of his mind, similar to intuition. He'd just know Kaworu was coming to visit him and Kaworu would turn up outside his door a minute later.]

Yeah. Yeah, it's, uhm... I don't know if I'm doing it right...

[Then came the motes of light. They practically leaked out of Kaworu's pores, bathing him in a radiance that no one else seemed to notice. As Shinji's senses sharpened, the lights merged together, vast and brilliant, while still being contained inside Kaworu somehow. Nowadays it's like being face-to-face with the surface of Sirius A.]

It feels like--sunlight. But it feels like your arms around me, too. And it feels like sitting down with a really old book and reading it for the first time...

[His cheeks are getting warm. Predictable.]

But mostly it feels good.

[paraclete]

[It's better to be warm in a capacity of necessity, like the sun, instead of the catastrophic wrath of the apocalypse. It's better to be warm than to be lukewarm, too. Tabris spent much of his life in sterilized rooms and tanks of LCL, both of which were perfectly neutral in temperature. When he was exposed to earnest warmth, he was amazed, and he didn't want to leave it at all. He never wants to leave whatever measure of warmth he finds. If Shinji is at all similar, then...

Kaworu cups both of Shinji's warm cheeks in his hands. He smiles across the short distance between them. His face is like deceptively still water; he is pacific, an undisturbed surface, but careful inspection will reveal the rushing, churning current just underneath. If Shinji looks at the right angle, with the right amount of insight, he will see that Kaworu is only barely keeping himself mild-mannered in this place.

Of course, looking calm like this is something Kaworu's worked very hard for, so he expects the wellspring of desire inside him isn't going to be evident. All he does is lean forward enough to kiss the apple of Shinji's cheek.]

Yours feels good to me, too, Shinji-kun. The night you came back down to Earth... [His chin tilts up; his shoulders hitch up. It's each just a fraction, but it's like his exuberance near any piano.] I was so excited. Knowing you were drawing near felt like wading into clean water.

[astrobleme]

[Shinji could stand here all day, really, just letting Kaworu buoy him with both hands and a raft of good will. It would be wonderful. More than he ever expected to have--or deserved to have, for that matter. He doesn't deserve anything so invaluable and freely given. Naturally, he isn't aware of the quality of his own soul, but to Kaworu's eyes it must be shimmering right now. It must be like sunlight across the facets of a diamond.]

Kaworu-kun...

[Which doesn't quite complement the sudden, impatient wrenching of his viscera. Shinji loathes himself with the force of a thousand suns for being so unreasonable, already nudging Kaworu backward, then pushing him backward, right up to the edge of the freshly made bed. As soon as Shinji shoves Kaworu onto his back, Shinji climbs on top of him, more or less straddling him, with a very intent look on his face. His eyes couldn't be more like the expanse of an ancient ocean: depthless, full of promise.]

Hey, can I tell you something else? Just... [And he reveals this with the sort of courage borne of knowing he'll never be able to say it unless he says it right now:] I feel like you were made for me. Just for me. [His fingers find their way into Kaworu's hair, appreciating the length.] And I don't know if that's an Angel thing or if--if--if it's a Shinji and Kaworu-kun thing. I don't know. [The cleaning bugs seem content to patrol above them, ready and waiting for the next speck of dust.] Do you know, Kaworu-kun? [he asks, and any answer will be at odds with how he kisses him soundly.]

[paraclete]

[This time, at last, there's nothing coy, no kid gloves. Not from Kaworu. At first he's watching Shinji with shining eyes and an open mouth; and now, as Shinji kisses him, Kaworu's hands go directly to Shinji's hips. If Kaworu's soul were anything like a star before, the heat of it is even greater now. Kaworu has kissed Shinji with thorough and weighty passion before, but this particular kiss, reciprocated and then perhaps overtaken, has a novel amount of freedom to it. When Kaworu kisses Shinji in this way, with an arc and approval of his whole body, it becomes apparent that other kisses were measured with restraint. With just his hands and mouth, Kaworu behaves as though he's chasing after Shinji, even if Shinji isn't running away.

Kaworu breaks not for air, but because he will lose his words completely if he doesn't use them now. Still, although he doesn't expressly need to breathe, what air he does intake is shallow. Just moments inside that kiss, and Kaworu is reduced to the appearance of a human being in the middle of a run. His explanation barely counts as one:]

You're exactly right.

[But it's the code which Kaworu has lived by, the concept which has delivered him as far as he has come. Hearing Shinji begin to understand it might be considered Kaworu's greatest triumph.]

I was. I actually was, Shinji-kun. I'm glad that you know it now. You, Shinji-kun, you are— [His hands search for a better grip; he doesn't want to idle, wants to be moving here and there, in tandem with Shinji. His eyes are galactic in age and vivid light when he tilts up to kiss Shinji again. It's fierce, like the need to be fed air. He does pull back again to try and finish his thought, though.] I was born just so I could be with you. I know it. This is... [His eyelashes flutter until he closes his eyes completely, and he slips in his breaths slow and small. His hands run down from Shinji's hips to his thighs, smoothing over every curve.] This is how things are meant to be. Myself and yourself. Angels don't matter, and other things don't, either. If I am with you, things are as they should be. That's all I've ever needed to know.

[But if things are as they should be, Kaworu must be meant for this, too, the markedly redder face, the arch of his back he finally doesn't suppress.]

[astrobleme]

(continued here.)