driftfleet | 06

Entry tags:

06 - video

Who: Winn Schott and you
Broadcast: Video
Action: Tourist
When: Friday

[ there's something off about winn when the feed turns on. something different from all his other broadcasts. it may take a second to spot it but once you realize what it is it becomes glaringly obvious: there's not a hint of happiness anywhere on his face. his eyes, his lips, his nose, it looks like every last bit of joy has been drained from his features, so even when his lips do stretch lightly upwards, despite his dry eyes it feels more like watching him sob than seeing him smile. ]

Margaery's gone home. [ he has no way of knowing that. she could have been kidnapped to another world, one where she would have no protective big brother to introduce her to superheroes and feminism, to embroider with her and teach her science. but he chooses to hang onto that thought, to believe that she's gone back to the family he knows she so desperately missed despite never letting her pain show. he clears his throat. ] If any of her friends wanna come by for a toast and some stories, I'll be on the Tourist all day.

[ he has been on the tourist since he realized she disappeared, curled up in his bed, shut down. this is the most he's said since, and it feels almost like an outer body experience. he clears his throat again, and nods at the camera before killing the feed. ]

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-- I am terribly sorry to hear it. [ what dreadful news. there's something tight in her throat. sansa promises herself she will not cry on camera. ]

[He could ask questions about how she got home or if it's really home where she went, but he manages to read the room and holds that back.] I talked to her a couple of times. She seemed really nice.

[ Kara lets herself into his room quietly. she floats over to his bed and, assuming he's curled up to one side, mirrors him face-to-face, over the covers. it's a platonically intimate act that communicates more nuance and care than any words would. Unless he resists at any step of the way, she just wants to show her solidarity to his emotions ]

[ he recognizes her - they've never spoken, they've never met, but he's seen her on the network and paid attention, because he knows how important she is to margaery. he's kept his distance because he assumed if margaery wanted them to meet she would introduce them, that's how things worked in her world, after all. but now she's gone, and sansa may be the one person who is as heartbroken about it as he is, and he wants to be there for her. for her sake, and for margaery's. ]

Sansa, right? [ he nods a little ] I'm Winn. She told me a lot about you.

[ good call on that, mon-el. while winn is usually all for satisfying curiosity, now is really not the time, not even for him. ]

She is.

And I you. [ her words are frosty and hard. not for any disdain of the man himself, but because cannot risk vulnerability. not before strangers; not before the wider public, neither. and yet margaery had only lovely things to say about winn. she's trusted him, and that affords the man a certain measure of sansa's patience.

but sansa knows better than to think that he will be a friend to her simply because he was a friend to margaery. ] She spoke of you with a great deal of fondness. True and honest fondness.

[ an important distinction because sansa knows how easily it is to say pretty things that are not meant. ]

[ he doesn't resist. he doesn't have it in him to resist, and he doesn't want to, anyway. this, he needs. he doesn't have words to express how much this hurts, besides kitty and kara margaery is probably the worst person he could have lost - he feels responsible for him. she's the first person he adopted - or did she adopt him? losing sascha had hurt, but sascha lived longer than he ever would, and sascha had tried to eat him, so things were loaded and awkward for a while.

it was never like that with margaery. he felt protective of her from day one. she was building him up, and he...he didn't do enough for her. he's not ready for her to be gone, ripped out of his life like that, never to be seen again. he's crushed.

he gives kara an almost unnoticeable nod as his only acknowledgment of her presence. ]

[She didn't know Margaery, but—]

Shit, Winn, I'm sorry... Do you want company?

[ she tries to find his hand, just to hold it and let him know that she's still there and the world is still real and solid. she's steadfast and, for once, not pressuring him to do anything in that moment (besides maybe let her hold his hand). she knows that in this moment, she can't fix it and she doesn't need to. if alex had been here and then left... she would be in the same state ]

[ he's not sure where the cold is coming from, if it's a defense mechanism or if he's actually done something wrong. he wants so desperately to ask margaery - but she's not there.

his heart hurts. ]

She's a sister to me. [ not like, not was. she is. he loves her truly and deeply and as far as he's concerned, any friend of hers is a friend of his. ]

She and I should have been. [ it's the most she feels capable of articulating. ] We were meant to be good-sisters, should Margaery have had her way.

[ in effect (and in the longer run) they were bound to each other by their marriages. she to the imp; margaery to the imp's nephew. but those ties were poison and pain. she's not prepared to discuss them. ]

I could come over for that toast if you're interested. [He doesn't need it for himself, but for Winn's sake sure.]

[ most people, he would refuse. but opal, she's family too and he can't help but feel a wave of horror at the thought of losing her next. if that's what's going to happen, he wants to treasure every moment he gets with her. what was the last thing he told margaery? when was the last time he's hugged her? it wasn't enough. it could never be enough. ]

Yeah, [ he nods, it's a testament to how heartbroken he is. when does he ever ask for anything for himself? ] please.

[ his eyes wander down to their hands and rest there. he gives her hand a little questioning squeeze, as if he's not entirely sure that it's really there, as if it might disappear if he holds too tight. ]

Blood may be thicker than water, but love is thicker than blood. If you feel like sisters, you're sisters.

[ he's heard about margaery's side of the marriage and it's really the last story he wants to be thinking about now - god he hopes she's safe, he hopes she finds someone better, someone worthy of her. he hates not knowing, and he fears the answer - not that he has any way of obtaining it. ]

[ he mostly made that offer for the sake of margaery's friends, he would rather wallow in his own misery alone right now. but he's done that, and he knows from experience it's not going to get him anywhere. and he does appreciate mon-el's intentions. ]

Bring the toast. [ because he does not have enough alcohol for the way he's feeling right now. ]

[ she squeezes his hand back gently. after a few moments, she begins to sing softly in Kryptonian ]

As you say.

[ sansa agrees out loud although she disagrees at heart. very little champions blood -- not for her, and not (she suspects) for margaery. but in the absence of any tyrells, she did what she had to do. she found a family and she cocooned herself in them. sansa can respect it even as it appears foreign to her. ]

Her absence will be felt.

[He nods.] I'll see you soon. [If he had readily accessible bread you can pretty much guarantee that would come with him too in the form of bread because that wording makes him wonder, but since he doesn't he'll just show up in about fifteen minutes with some liquor. Have a knock.]

[ he catches a word here and a word there from their lessons, but he would find it hard to focus on the words even if they were in english and his spoken kryptonian really isn't there yet. instead, he just lets himself feel the music and what it means to him - the support of his best friend when he needs it most.

unshed tears sparkle in his eyes, and he shuts them to keep them in. still, a few rogue drops escape down his cheeks, some pooling when they hit the impassable obstacle of his nose. ]

Every day.

[ he agrees, his own voice heavy with emotion. ]

If there's anything you need, call me up.

My mother used to sing that to me when I couldn't sleep.

[ she uses her sleeve to wipe his face. it's all very maternal ]

It's open.

[ superhearing sure would come in handy now because winn's voice is low, lacking any form of energy. he's lying in bed, curled up, the scarf margaery made him for his birthday wrapped around his neck. he's not crying, but he's not doing much of anything else, either. including getting up. ]

I'm sorry. [ for the intrusion, possibly. ] But...was anything left behind?

[ his voice is soft, low, and loaded with emotion. it's a good thing she doesn't struggle with hearing, because he would not have it in him to repeat himself. he barely has it in him to feel bad for what an inconveniencing wreck he's being. ]

What's it mean?

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