driftfleet | [video] looks don't count for much, there goes your proof

Who: Asuka Shikinami Langley and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Siourew, if you're brave
When: February 26

[Seriously, she just wanted to wade around in a lake. Carefully, this time, with no danger of a near-drowning experience. She still hasn't learned to swim, but she's not going to go in deep. The water's not even touching the hem of her knee-length dress.]

[Unfortunately, this time the water itself isn't the problem. The video feed is pretty bumpy, but there's a grumpy headshot of Asuka after a second, eyes narrowed into barely-there slits and teeth bared a little too ferociously for the scene at hand.]

[Or maybe not. Because as she holds the device out to arm's length, one thing's going to become patently obvious: every single fish-like creature and every single sandbird seems to be hopping up out of the water to try to get near her. Some of them even seem to be crowding up on each other in the bustle. Every step she takes back is another hop or flight up for them.]

What the hell is going on here?! Do you want me to eat you, or what? You aren't even-- ugh, that-- [she fidgets, then screams inelegantly, as another lake creature, maybe a minnow, swims about her ankles--] You have the whole damn lake! This happens every time I've been in water here!

[ooc: afflicted by pheromones! your choice if this effect goes for your character/non-water creatures or not.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...]

Hey, I do know a good lemon pepper recipe for fish.

[He's trying not to laugh. Really.]

This isn't funny, Shinji! They won't let me alone!

[Indeed, some have squirmed or flown their way out of the lake itself when she's gotten disgusted enough to get out of the water. Right now, though, Asuka's determined to stand her ground, muddy though it might be.]

[Yeah, that seems to be the case, but also:] If you use the bottom part of your dress, you can scoop up a couple fish for dinner, probably.

No way! You get a net if you want them that badly, moron!

[There's still the slapping noises of fish shooting out of the water in the background, as well as assorted German curses. Asuka's at least armed herself with some rocks at this point, so he might be able to hear the sound of her pelting the creatures, too.]

Where are you? I should be able to find a net around here...

[He's only half-joking. There is a part of him that's concerned about this apparent war she's waging against her piscine opposition.]

What'd you do to make them like you so much?

I'll send you the coordinates if you hurry up!

[Splat. Splat. Her aim is less precise with stones than it is with darts, but it doesn't seem to matter much. The creatures seem to almost relish being hit.]

I didn't do anything! I wasn't even wearing any perfume!

[It's really hard not to crack up about this. Compared to being invaded by hostile aliens, it's just... hilariously harmless. Fish. Of all things, Asuka is being mobbed with fish.]

I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying! Send me the coordinates.

[About ten minutes later, Shinji emerges from a thick tangle of trees at the edge of the lake, having followed the hiking trail that Asuka mentioned. He's wearing a blue windbreaker and carrying with him a telescopic fishing net that should be enough to deal with--]

Oh man.

[There are definitely some minnows glimmering in Asuka's hair.]

I think you're losing the battle, if not the war, Asuka.

[Minnows, tadpoles, and God only knows what else. She's been swarmed, and every effort on her part seems to make their attraction greater. A lesser (or smarter) (or less deluded) person would have given up by now and gotten out of the lake, but here Asuka is, in water up to her thighs, rocks in hand, tossing them at every creature who dares poke its head out-- or flies up-- to greet her.]

[One minnow is squirming around her cheek, and she shrieks, grabbing the poor creature and tossing him back into the water.]

Shut up and get in here! I'm making progress!

[Shinji laughs out loud, but he's still willing to come to Asuka's rescue, already slipping off his shoes and rolling up his pant legs so he can wade into the water. He wields the net with battle-tested reflexes; time and time again, he intercepts various fish as they come leaping up at Asuka. He tosses the hapless creatures so far ashore that they have no hope of wriggling back to their target... Judging by the sheer number of them, Shinji will be preparing authentic sushi rolls for literal weeks on end.

But somewhere along the way, in the middle of emptying out the net, Shinji stops. He squints at nothing, inhales once, then inhales deeper, audibly so, like he's noticed something unusual in the air. It isn't the water or the fish. It isn't the wind from afar. It's...]

Hey...

[...]

Are you sure you're not wearing any perfume?

[Asuka's never been more glad for a rescue-- or at least some help. It's way better with another set of hands and an actual net. She's helping toss those fish in with a disturbing amount of gusto, even and especially the ones nesting in her hair.]

[She raises her eyebrows when Shinji stops and starts to sniff. God, if he's sensing something other than the marine life they've been fighting off, something improbable like a shark in the water (who knew with this planet what any river held), she'll just scream. But no, that's not it.]

I stink! I've been fighting these things for over an hour!

[video] looks don't count for much, there goes your proof

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