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Who: Pavel Chekov
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: For the crew of the SS Wonderduck (and video for everyone else)
When: Now

[Chekov wishes he could be surprised or, at the very least, unsettled when he wakes up in a foreign place, but there's a point at which this sort of thing becomes a fairly routine--if always unpleasant--occurrence. Losing people is never easy, no matter the universe, no matter the number of times it happens.

But taking stock of the situation and establishing who is here has to come before mourning those who were left behind in MarinaNova. To that end, Chekov, somewhat familiarized with his new home and in clothes that are slightly more dignified than the pajamas that he initially woke up in on the Marsiva, begins a broadcast. Are you listening to this in Standard/English/Common? If so, enjoy the ridiculously thick Russian accent.]

This is Lieutenant Pavel Andreievich Chekov of the Federation starship Enterprise. If you have met me already or if you are affiliated with Starfleet, please respond to this message. [He smiles even though he's in no real mood to be cheerful.] I would also be happy with replies from you if we're strangers.

Thank you for your time.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He would hug her tighter, but bruising her would be very rude.] Yes, I was just there. All of them are fine. [Well, relatively.] So are you... you were still in the prison. It was Day 415.

[Maybe he could check out her expression to see what she thinks of that, but he'd have to stop hugging her to do that. He doesn't want to.]

I...what? [That was not what she was expecting. Sure, messing with time. Maybe Chekov could have been to another place between here and the prison. Any number of things, but hearing that she was still also in the prison long past the day she left on? That made no sense at all to her. Sure, that's what happens when people go home, but how can she be in the prison and this place? Then again, how can any of it happen?] No, I... I've been here since the day with the discs from home? It was day 3 something. 360. Maybe 361? [It's not that long to be missing time or maybe it is. Ever since she got here she's become increasingly skeptical at what a "day" is in Marina. She thinks she might have been there far longer than the 11 months she originally believed it to be. But for now the thing that bothers her most is what that means for her and reality. Does this mean she could suddenly remember things from the prison the way others do from home? Does it mean she's still in that virtual reality and they just duplicated her? How many places is she right now?]

No, you were there. [He's having a hard time wrapping his mind around this, but it makes some kind of sense. Or no less sense than these things ever make.] You were, it was you, not a replica. I would have known if it wasn't you.

Day 360. [It wasn't that long ago, but it feels like the distant past. So many things have happened.] Nathan has left. You--you and Reid broke up. We... [He isn't sure he can even say it. Kitty doesn't remember that mistletoe day when he realized that he was in love with her. She doesn't remember the awkward period of time after her official break up with Reid, getting the blue bands (and not making use of them, not outside of a glitch), sharing a bed more nights than not, or the happy marriage that they had in the wardens' interpretation of a future that was twenty years away.

That's lot. He can't say it.

He still doesn't have much of a poker face (did she notice that he looks a little older? maybe not in the rush to hug), so the dawning realization that none of these things that are crucially important to his memory of Kitty ever happened to her and the dismay that comes with it is clear if she looks. She doesn't have to look. Honestly, they can just keep hugging.]

[Hearing that Nathan has left hits her hard. That's not okay. That means he could be back home. He could be locked away. Sure, it will protect others and that's good, but is he getting real help? Affection? It's hard to talk about and hard to think about and so she says the thing that comes easier. Almost dismissive.]

Reid and I broke up a thousand years before that. [It may have been slightly under a thousand, but she knows they had been long broken up by the time she left even if she was still coping with the damage. She doesn't trust herself to get the actually amount of days right especially when she's fairly sure they were months, not days looking back on it now.

She slides back, keeping her arms around him, but more loosely so she can look at his face. You know, the thing he doesn't want her to do. She can hear the distress in his voice and it worries her. She was with Reid a long time and she learned a lot about profiling from him. She already had some instincts for it before that time. She should be piecing this together from the things he says and especially the things he doesn't say, but she's not. There's no part of her imagining the end of the sentence he barely started.] We?

[Hopefully Nathan is in stasis since he can't hurt himself or anyone else there. Not that his younger, stabbier facetwin is at the forefront of Chekov's mind.]

I know. It took both of you a very long time to admit it. [And it was an awful thing to watch. More awful than this slow-motion shipwreck that he's currently involved in since this won't hurt her. Hopefully, if he can do this right.

Since saying words is unavoidable now, he pauses to sort through the things he wants to say, looking for something that's true but unlikely to make her feel bad. Kitty made it abundantly clear that hurting him was the last thing that she wanted.]

We had blue bands, you and I. Not--ah, not that we've used them, not without a glitch. [This is hard. There are a lot of words that he wants to say right now and none of them are right.] You're a little in love with Reid still. Maybe you always will be, but...

[But I love you. It's still true right now, even though this Kitty is behind. She's still his, just as much as Kirk and McCoy and the rest of the crew are his no matter how many times they forget seeing him in these places.]

[It takes her a second to register what "blue bands" means. Of course they were a big part of life in Marina, but that was over a year ago now and how ridiculous and insulting is it that people have to get a wristband so they are approved to have sex with someone else? But once the concept processes the rest of it makes her head spin. She and Chekov? But... But... He looks so much like Nathan and she never... She's never felt that way about him. He was always so good to her. Such a good friend and she hopes he felt the same, but she doesn't remember any kind of attraction. Of course, all she could see back then was Reid. Okay, with the occasional interlude of Jack, but that was largely the wardens shoving them together and the future pheromones and, okay, regular chemistry.

She slides back further, but she does bring her hands down to hold his. It feels wrong to be too close right now, but she also needs to be here for him too. She jumps in before he can finish.]

I'm in love with Winn Schott. We've been together for almost a year and he's good to me. [It's so apologetic. She doesn't want to hurt him, but he's going to find out about Winn and maybe it's best to do that before he says anything he can't take back. Or maybe he needs to tell her to get it off his chest. She'll accept whatever he thinks is best.] I'm sorry. [She can't be sorry that she loves Winn, but she is sorry that she's hurting Chekov. She never imagined anything like this could be happening. That she could still be there. That they'd be together. Somewhat together. It sounds like she's not really ready to move on yet back there. So, maybe she's been hurting him for awhile.]

[Well. That's... this is fine. She's over Reid. She managed to get over Reid and now she loves someone else. Someone else helped her get over Reid more effectively than Chekov did (it doesn't matter that more time elapsed here), and now she loves him. She can even say that she loves him.

Here is Pavel Chekov, in love with Kitty Pryde (still) while she's in love with someone else (again). It should be fine. It will be, he's always fine, but it's different than it was after the mistletoe. Back then, Chekov loved Kitty with full knowledge that she was still hung up on Reid, and he had made peace with the idea that she wouldn't ever move on, even after they were together. Things have been changing, though. Sometimes, when she looks at him, he thinks that she's almost ready to love him back.

He didn't realize how hard he was holding on to that until now.

Chekov habitually prepares himself for the worst--it's the best way to be content with all outcomes--but this isn't a scenario that he has prepared himself for. She's here and she remembers him, but she doesn't remember everything. She doesn't remember almost loving him and now she never will. It hurts in spite of her efforts to be kind and he's horrified to find that he's tearing up. Russian men are emotionally hardy, everyone knows that. They only cry at extremely meaningful funerals and exceptionally lovely weddings.

Since he's obviously losing all semblance of dignity, he just says the thing that he knows she doesn't want to hear. If he's going to cry on her, he may as well.] I love you, Kitty.

[She's watching his expression and it's heartbreaking. She wants to comfort him and yet she's the one doing this to him. She's the one making him hurt. It's not her fault and she knows that. She couldn't have known or controlled what's happening now or when they were each brought here. Obviously the Atroma wanted maximum pain for the audience. Their bank accounts will be stuffed after this. But as much as it would be easier to let herself get mad at them, she doesn't have it in her. She feels tears pricking at her own eyes as he says the words she hoped he wouldn't say, and it startles her into action. Maybe hugging him is the worst thing she can do right now, but she can't cry in front of him—not when this is about him. What right does she have to cry for breaking his heart? She holds him close if only to hide her own eyes until it passes.]

Pavel...

I'm so sorry.

[She feels like she should say more. She should tell him what a good friend he is. How much she missed him. How he helped keep her together back then. But how much can she reassure before she's leading him on? Would any of it sound good to him right now or is it all the weakest of consolation prizes?]

[It's a good thing Chekov isn't thinking about the possibility of being watched. Not even high ratings and decent monetary compensation would make having a public meltdown okay.

The hug is comforting and he holds on to her. Maybe he shouldn't since there's a boyfriend and this is a mess and it's probably inadvisable to cling to the person who just inadvertently broke his heart more thoroughly than he ever thought possible, but he wants to. He's a hug person and right now he needs this.]

It's okay. [It's not okay. He's not even trying to avoid crying now that she isn't looking at him and, while that obviously isn't preventing him from talking, he sounds abundantly not okay.] I know that this isn't something that you want. None of it is your fault.

[Nothing makes it okay. It's so far from okay. But she will hold him for as long as he wants to be held. Her hand gently strokes his hair. She was so excited to see him. She's still excited to see him. She cares about him a great deal. But now instead of a rare act of generosity from the Atroma it feels like an act of cruelty to make him watch her be in love with someone else. She tries not to let her mind wander to what this might mean for Winn. Does it make it less likely he'll wake up again? Do they want the audience to see Chekov comforting her through another heartbreak? An encore? Or does it mean he's more likely to wake up so there can be more drama?]

You still deserve better.

[At least she's here. He would rather have a Kitty who's down a few memories and with someone else than no Kitty at all. And he's still important to her, right? Technically he's doing about as well as he was in Marina Nova, just... without the hope of eventually doing better. Without the snuggling, too, and he supposes he'll have to meet this boyfriend who is probably brilliant and tall and handsome and good at dancing.

So yes, okay, this is not what he wanted out of Vacation Universe #3. He'd like to go back to MarinaNova now.]

Yes, I do. [He laughs a bit wetly. Maybe it would be better to deny it, but you know what? He's a decent person. He doesn't deserve to watch Kitty love someone else again.] Someday, maybe.

[Definitely brilliant, extremely handsome, decent at dancing and exactly Chekov's height. Great singer. Exceptionally thoughtful. Hot lov...er, this isn't helping.

She's glad he knows it too.] Definitely someday. [She's not saying with her, but he's too great not to be with someone who is good for him. Someone who won't be half in love with Reid. Someone who isn't fully in love with Winn.] I could introduce you to all the single girls I know here. [Too soon? She's not that emphatic about it. Somewhere between genuine offer and weak joke to ease the tension.]

[Yeah, no. Chekov doesn't need his self-esteem crushed right now by learning that the boyfriend is an upgrade.]

I think I should give up on falling in love for a little while, but thank you. [Going the weak joke route even though he doubts that he's going to get over Kitty quickly. It was so simple to box up his feelings for Tessa and Lucy because they went off to different universes, never to be seen again, but Kitty's right here.]

[That's part of how she got over Reid finally too. Just the separation and distance of being in an entirely new place without him. In the end the last few heart strings were broken through logistics. So simple and at times so impossible like now. Even if she did her best to stay out of his life in the fleet someone would mention her to him. They'd run into each other on the Iskaulit or they'd hear a non-filtered communication. You can avoid people for a long time with separate ships, but not forever. And she doesn't want to avoid him. She'll do whatever he needs her to, but she wants to be part of his life. He's one of her best friends. She just got him back. She doesn't want to lose him.]

I don't know if saying this helps or if it makes it worse, but I do love you as a friend. I want to do whatever you need, okay? Just...tell me what that is and I'll be here for you or...gone for you. Whatever it is.

[Being loved as a friend feels like a bandaid on a severed limb, but she's trying. She doesn't need to do even that much when he's the one who just crashed in on her happy relationship and told her that he loves her.]

Please don't be gone. [He takes her hands and backs off just enough to let her see that he means it. He was fine with being her friend and never anything else once, he should be capable of doing that again. What happened in MarinaNova after Day 360 just needs to be shoved in a box and put in the archive where Chekov keeps everything else that he wants to remember but not feel. No problem.

No problem at all.]

I want to be a good friend to you again. [Except his feelings aren't the only things to consider here.] What distance will you need so that I don't... ah. [Make everyone hideously uncomfortable? That was a real trial when Reid was involved.] Interfere?

No being gone. I hated that plan a lot. [She looks at him fondly. There's still such apology in her eyes. She hates causing him pain and having no way to really soothe it.]

You never stopped being a good friend. [And here it is. The part she doesn't know how to say because it's hard to say without it hurting and she doesn't want to be the one breaking down right now. She wants to be the one strong for Chekov. So it starts with a smile, but it's a sad one.] That ... that will be a conversation I'll have with Winn...[Voice falling softer.] when he wakes up. [It's pretty clear from her voice and the expression that this isn't some nap she's talking about, but she won't make him ask she just needs a moment.] He's been in a coma for nine days.

It was a terrible plan. [The fondness is nice, but the apology hurts. It shouldn't be necessary. Things like this shouldn't happen and he really hopes that the someday when he's okay with this comes soon because just looking at her is making him tear up again.

He almost appreciates it when the distress shifts to her and he has incentive to get out of his own head. Not that he wants her to hurt! He never ever wants that, and he doesn't want her handsome and brilliant boyfriend to be in a coma either.]

I'm sorry. [He pulls her in for another hug. It figures that Kitty's boyfriend would be in a coma just when the boyfriend who, as far as she remembers, was never her boyfriend comes along. This is ridiculous.] What happened to him? If you can tell me. You don't need to.

[The most ridiculous. Reality shows have too much producer manipulation to seem genuine!] Nothing. It's part of what happens here sometimes. It's the second time for him. Usually people wake up in a month or less without a problem. [She hugs back, grateful for it.]

Kurt fell into one yesterday too. He's...[A hybrid of a laugh and a sob come out.] He's from home. My teammate. And my crewmate now.

[The showrunner needs some strongly-worded hate mail. Seriously.]

This happened to both of them at once? Your luck is remarkable. [He pats her back and doesn't say sorry again even though he is.] You were given a very poor consolation prize for that.

[So much hate mail.]

I love having you back. I'm sorry it... I'm just sorry it's like this for you. [He probably wishes he was back in the prison. And maybe he never left. She didn't.]

[It seems likely enough that he is in the prison. Infinite universes, infinite Pavel Chekovs. He hopes that the Chekov who stayed in MarinaNova will be happy.]

Please don't be sorry. [He can't echo her first sentiment because he does wish he was back in prison. That feels selfish after what Kitty just told him; this Kitty undoubtedly has friends here, but... maybe she needs another.]

You said that these comas are temporary, usually? Both of them will come back. This is going to be fine.

[She nods.] It's just... There were others here shortly after I arrived. More X-Men. Not from home, but they knew a version of me. And a couple of them went into comas and they just disappeared at the end. Or sometimes people wake up with new memories. [And as someone who was there for most of her heartbreak he'd know how things fell apart with Reid. Whatever other problems they may have had, they all started with him disappearing and returning with new memories that included a new love. She doesn't mention that particular fear to Chekov now since, well, that's kind of what's happening in reverse to him. And it's something Winn will have to deal with if he wakes up.]

It will be fine, whatever happens. [He'll take back the part where he said they'd wake up since that might not be true and he doesn't want to be a liar, but things being fine someday is absolutely something he believes in all situations. It's safe to promise that much.

It'll even be fine if they wake up with new memories, although he hopes for Kitty's sake that that won't be the case. He'd rather be alone forever than watch a repeat of what happened with Reid.]

If they wake up and they have new memories, just remind them of their memories from here and they'll realize that those are better memories to have anyway.

[It definitely doesn't feel like it will be fine if she loses Winn, but she's not putting that on Pavel. No more than she already has.] Thanks. [She knows she'll survive it. Maybe that's something. Also, how heartbreaking is it to hear him say this when it's happening to him right now? She holds him a little tighter.] Don't. You don't have to comfort me.

I want to. [It's much harder for him to feel sorry for himself when he's trying to make Kitty feel better, so he's not being entirely selfless here. And he does love her; he doesn't want to see her hurting.]