Centennials Are A Nuissance

[reconstitution]

Who: Bucky Barnes & You!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Heron
When: 3/10


[Broadcast;;]

[ The feed opens up with a view of the Heron's cargo bay, set upon a surface and focused on a very plain, yet sizable crate set in the center. Bucky comes into view, absolutely suspicious of the box addressed to him. He circles the crate a few times before kneeling and pulling out a knife so he can shimmy the lid off. It's removed very carefully and set to the side, much like he's diffusing a bomb. It may as well be, he knows what day it is, and this is obviously some weird thing from the Atroma.

He lifts a piece of paper from the top, skims through it quickly and crumples it and tosses the offending thing across the cargo bay. Bucky takes out a package that looks harmless enough- the crate is filled to the brim with very questionably made bottle rockets? Fiddling with it ends in a very harmless but extremely unnecessary explosion of glitter and confetti.

Boy, those sure aren't very nice words are they? Bucky seems to realize that the communicator is broadcasting this catastrophe, so a very glitter and confetti-covered captain stomps over to the device to shut it off. Not long after, a text comes through the network. ]

I don't care who takes the damn things, just get them off my ship. There are 99 more...

[Action;;]

[ Throughout the day, Bucky can probably be found sulking around the Heron, or sitting in the kitchen trying to clean glitter out from between the plates of his arm. His mood would be so much better if there were cake. ]

Comments

[stabsbothways]

It's really easy, you just take liquor and pour it down your throat.

Even a child could do it.

[reconstitution]

I mean it doesn't have an effect on me.

[stabsbothways]

No effect at all?

Did you try the centaur booze awhile back? Maybe we just need to increase the dosage.

[ This is a very concerning problem to her. No one should be deprived of booze. ]

[reconstitution]

Tried that. Didn't work as well as you'd think it would.

[ Oh, he drinks it, but the satisfaction of getting shitfaced is lost for now. ]

[stabsbothways]

We might need something stronger than alcohol then.

Have you ever successfully been poisoned by something?

[ A mortal poison for her might be just the ticket for him. ]

[reconstitution]

It usually works through my system pretty fast..

[ Assassins are no good if they get taken down by poison, Summer. Gosh. ]

[stabsbothways]

[ What kind of terrible assassin are you that you're ever in a position to be poisoned? ]

Unfortunately most of my poison knowledge isn't when every planet we go to has entirely different flora, but I'll see what I can do.

[ Yes, she's unilaterally decided to try to poison him to get him drunk. ]

[reconstitution]

[ Look, shit happens, okay? ]

If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not be poisoned. Thanks for the offer, though?

[ ???? ]

[stabsbothways]

No, it's very not the same, I'm very invested in this now.

What about blunt force trauma, where are you on that?

[reconstitution]

Can't say I'm a fan.

[ Jeez, he's just no fun, is he? ]

[stabsbothways]

There might be a magical solution. I might need to make some inquiries...

[reconstitution]

I'm not sure how I feel about magical tampering.

[stabsbothways]

You make it sound so sinister. What I'm thinking of is just something to make the word 'knickers' sound inordinately hilarious.

[reconstitution]

Good luck, I guess? [ He's sure she's noticed that he's not really the laughing type. ]

[stabsbothways]

[ Oh, she's noticed. Why do you think she's so adamant about this? ]

I hear the implied question mark and choose to ignore it.

[reconstitution]

[ Atroma give him strength. No, don't do that. ]

I'm sure you do.

[ Really, if he were bothered, he would end the conversation. ]