mk.08 (text)

[paraclete]

Who: Kaworu Nagisa ... + you!
Broadcast: fleetwide, text
Action: not currently, could change
When: early evening, today.

I haven't taken the time to endure the exploits many of you have been. It doesn't suit me, I think. I'm being productive in other ways, although I'm not sure I can share the fruits of my labor. But bearing something is fulfillment, right? If you have given life to your work, it feels good, even if that life is mild and quiet. Sometimes, perhaps, even moreso then. Well, not everybody wants to be in history books.

Hey, what's some soap you really like? I've gotten myself blotted with ink, which is why I'm pausing to sit back and talk. I didn't want to mark my papers. Then again, it's dry by now, so maybe I can just leave it.

One more question. Does anyone want to make a small trade?

Comments

[paraclete]

If you do, we might share a similar scent. Nice, right? I'll wait for you.

[That's really what he's eager about—sharing soap with Shinji. Kaworu perceives it as an act of intimate familiarity, and while he never needs things to remind him of Shinji, reminders are treasured regardless.

And, of course, there are the ink stains on his hands and forearms, mostly washed away but laid onto his skin in blotchy grey. Maybe Shinji's soap will help, and maybe it won't. Either way, it's something for Kaworu to admire.

He's totally unsuspecting of Shinji's present desire to confront him in an effort to gain clarity.]

[astrobleme]

[On the way to the Vanquish, Shinji rehearses a hundred and one questions he wants to ask Kaworu, just the things that have built up in his mind over the last several months. None of them come out sounding the way he wants them to. Of course. Confrontation is still not something he knows how to handle...

Kaworu's door opens for him almost as soon as he knocks, with the same eagerness it always does. Shinji is chewing on his bottom lip, and he's holding up the bottle of hand soap, all clear plastic with a sparkling red liquid inside. The tangy smell is subtle, but present, even now. It reminds him of ponzu sauce.

Just looking at Kaworu makes him smile a little.]

The cleaning bugs haven't been able to cope with the humidity, or else I would've brought them over.

[Shinji, too, isn't all that thrilled about being surrounded by the unimaginable amount of water on this planet. Swimming through it is still a flailing futility at best, and he doesn't like how similar it is and how different it is to LCL. It just dredges up some bad feelings.]

[paraclete]

Hmmm, [Kaworu says at first, just this languid hum both sympathetic and relaxed. He reaches to take the bottle with grey fingers. By the time he's holding it near his chest, he's also leaning in to give Shinji's temple a fleeting kiss.

He's off and away after that, though not very far for the confines of the room. He's padding through only a very slight mess, this time. Kaworu really has tried hard to respect Shinji's efforts since all that organizing happened. Right now, all that's amiss is the jumble of notebooks and the little pile of clothing on the floor. Ink stained clothing...

Looks like he tried to clean up whatever inky mess was made with random t-shirts.]

You've always liked a tidy space, [he says suddenly. Still cradling the bottle of soap, he's facing his small shelves, perhaps examining them.] But I like seeing it in you. You know how to make cleanliness into a home.

[astrobleme]

[Shinji's eyes--a clarified shade of red, as they usually are--fall shut for the moment when Kaworu kisses him like that. It's a small, peaceful gesture, at least compared to some of the other stuff they've done. It still means everything in the world to Shinji.

Then he steps inside, closes the door, and gets a good look at the questionable state of Kaworu's room. Obviously, Kaworu has been trying to keep his belongings more orderly than before, but those shirts are definitely stained with ink and they're going to be doomed if he doesn't get them washed soon--

There's something about the sight of Kaworu with his back turned that gives him pause. And what Kaworu says next is even more provocative.]

It makes me feel better when everything is where it's supposed to be. [He stoops down to grab one of the ink-splotched shirts, then another.] I guess you could say it's part of my... [He can almost smell the fresh soil, the warn moisture in the air. Kaworu was watching him work in the greenhouse, not really helping out with the new seedlings, just openly admiring. And Kaworu said some interesting things to him, then, too.] My nurturing instinct. Or however you put it.

[paraclete]

[Yet another hum. Shinji's presence—his words—together, perhaps, a tuning fork, and here is Kaworu trying to find the perfect pitch. He'd like to tune everything to Shinji, but his fingers haven't been deft enough for that. Not yet.

He's still turned away when he does actually speak. His hands, while not visible, must be fiddling with something on the shelf.]

You're taught where a thing is supposed to be, and then you adhere to those confines. More comfortable that way, right? It helps to know what is expected of you, and then to measure your ability to meet those standards. You're good at being orderly. Therefore it's a standard you know you can meet. What a relief that must be. And meanwhile...

[He pauses where he is, then pulls something off the shelf, exchanging the soap bottle for it. When he turns back round to Shinji, he's holding a thin book. Actually, might be more of an album than a book. When he's close again, he's offering it; it's held loosely in his hands, so there will be no give when Shinji chooses to take it.

Inside, each page displays a different pressed flower or leafy plant.]

Meanwhile, because it gives you comfort, it also feels good for you to create a space of comfort for someone else. Yeah, your nurturing instinct. I think you'd like to give a person some things that weren't given to you. You had to get them for yourself.

[And that's that. He sounds much like he did the first time they watched the stars (and the first time he and Shinji waded into water at sunset) (and the first time Shinji lay awake and confessed his whole life) (and the first time Shinji offered his water bottle to share).

... He's been learning all these things for a very long time. Sometimes that realization hits him hard.]