driftfleet | 4. Note-Tina Books

Who: Tina Belcher and you
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: SS Paisley, if desired
When: April 6th

[There is a crate on the Paisley's cargo bay floor addressed to Tina Belcher, Warrior Of Love and Tina's hovering over it uncertainly.]

Look, sponsors, I appreciate that you seem to like me but after that thing with the unicorn meat, you can't expect me to want to open this, can you? Can you? Well, I refuse. Yep, this is just going to sit here unopened and you'll never get me to satsify my curiosity OKAY I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE, I'LL OPEN IT.

[And she does pry it open, revealing a stack of notebooks, a package of glitter pens, and... several unicorn candles. Thankfully, these are unmelted, and Tina seems pretty happy as she nods at the camera.]

Hey, looks like you all paid attention to me this time. This is a pretty good gift, in fact. I can start writing again! I'll do my best to live up to the rumor that I AM, in fact, Tina Belcher, Warrior of Love. ... though there's no truth to the rumors that I'm secretly vegan or prefer Jimmy Pesto's hamburgers to my dad's or just hate hamburgers in general. I found all 3 of those on the fridge this morning and I'm not sure how all 3 are supposed to be possible at once.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I had telephones back home, but never anything this fancy. ... and I didn't have that many people to call, come to think of it. My brother and sister are my best friends, so I could just talk to them while they were there...

[Oh, that's sweet. A little sad, too, but sweet.]

That's very lucky for you, to have your best friends always so close. Family, it is important.

We're close in age and all grew up helping in my dad's restaurant, so I don't really need anyone except them, anyway.

Well, there is always room in you life for more friends, mademoiselle. That is one thing that is never exhaustible.

That's true- and I've made some good ones here. Since my family isn't here, it was either that or isolate myself, and that's not very fun, is it?

It is not fun at all. No man is an island, after all! No young mademoiselle, either.

I'd much rather be a... not... island. Uh, a continent?

A continent works! Or an island chain, perhaps? Something a little less alone.

Yeah! A whole family of islands, with friend islands on the side, too. ... maybe a boyfriend island...

[Oh no she is precious. He lets out a soft chuckle. ]

Oh, I see. Do not worry, ma petit chou. I am sure romance will find you one day. You have plenty of time for that.

I've never really had a steady boyfriend yet, but, you're right... I'm only 13. I'll have plenty of boys to admire. And plenty of butts.

See? You're still so young.

[Okay so if she was royalty, she would have been married off to someone by now, but this is not the 18th century and that doesn't happen now. Thankfully.

...Wait, did she say butts?]

Ah- yes. Those too. Plenty of those.

Mmm, it would be nice to have one, though. Someone who liked to pay attention to me...

Butts are very important.

You seem like a charming young lady. I am sure someone will be perfect for you one day, mademoiselle.

[A long pause. He is not prepared for this conversation. ]

I would not disagree with you there. It is...good you have refined tastes?

Hopefully it will be Jimmy Jr. ... we're off again, on again. Mostly off. But he'll come around.

I know what I like, yep.

Ahhhhh I know that sort of romance. It is never boring.

[Lumiére, no, you're supposed to discourage this. ]

Well, so long as you know what you like. That is important. Not a lot of people have that.

Mmmm, definitely not. The chase is exciting. I mean, he does blow me off a lot, but when he does pay attention to me... wow.

[Oh. ]

...But you enjoy the chase too, no?

I feel like it'll make it all worth it when he decides to settle down.

[Well. That's a little depressing. ]

You must do what is enjoyable for you too, mademoiselle. Otherwise, it is a waste.

[He might be a dog, but at least he's not a neglectful one. ]

I enjoy it. Maybe there will be other guys in the future, but the one I want most is the one I'm after.

Then I wish you happy hunting, ma cherie.

Thank you, kind sir.

4. Note-Tina Books

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