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[Zaveid's happiness thrums through their connection clear as the ring of a bell, so powerful that Sorey can feel it like his own. What could have happened while he was asleep for him to be greeted like this? But then Lailah had been much the same when she'd showed up, and when she spoke of home it was to tell him that Rose was passed. Old age.

So after a moment Sorey pushes a little against Zaveid's chest, pulls back and reaches up to hold his face, push his wild hair out of the way to get a good look at him.] Let me see you, let me- [There. Zaveid is always reaching out to comfort others without asking for any himself, but that's why it's important to pay attention. Why he needs to listen to those soft sounds, the edge of his exhale, the way his hands clutch for a moment too long, too tight.]

I'm home, [Sorey tells him softly; Elysia is his home, Glenwood is his home, but ever since he'd become Shepherd his home has become a transient thing, a state of being achieved only with the pulsing light of four other souls inside of his. He's home. I'm your home.]

[ Riding the waves of happiness is like a blissful kind of agony, and Zaveid embraces it with everything that he has. It's been a long time since he was this close to Sorey, decades going by where he had a faint connection with Rose and something missing, a gap in his chest where a young man ought to be. Humans don't last forever but the feeling, the memories? They're eternal for Seraphim, and Zaveid had clung to it with everything that he had. Even when he couldn't quite remember what had happened here he'd known; he needed Sorey, needed to feel him, to know that he was safe.

That warmth carries him now, even as he laughs and lets Sorey touch at his face, push at his hair, looking at him. He's making sure he's alright, Zaveid's sure about that, and all he can do is shake his head, expression gentling into something tender even as he lets his arms drop away. Sorey can look his fill, Sorey can check him over, but Zaveid knows he's okay. Sorey is back, and that means everything is going to be okay again. ]

Yeah. [ Zaveid lifts a hand and brushes his fingers through Sorey's hair, gentle and soft, before he leans close and puts his head on top of his. It's easy to wrap himself around Sorey again, to bask in the intensity of their bond after being without it for so long. It's wonderful, and he breathes out a quiet noise, smiling. ] It's good to see you again. [ I missed you.

Nothing was right without you.

I'm home. ]

[Sorey lets himself sink into Zaveid's arms, burying his face in his chest with a sigh as he holds him in return. Zaveid had always held this...aloofness about himself back home, something that said no matter what happened, he'd find a way to drift off with most of himself still intact. Maybe it was part of being a wind seraph, wild and untamable, or maybe it was because he was so old that he seemed a part of the world's tapestry itself. While it had been reassuring in battle (Zaveid would never, ever fall), sometimes it made it difficult to know him better. Edna didn't have as much trouble, and Lailah always seemed to see right through him, but as the three eldest that was to be expected.

What they've been through in here in the fleet doesn't allow for the same. Here, in Zaveid's arms, Sorey remembers armatizing with him to soar across the skies and above the ocean, marveling in the openness of a world untainted by malevolence. He remembers an arte parting around him, remembers a whispered promise from a hospital bed; he remembers a maelstrom, remembers quiet surrender, remembers locks of beautiful hair slipping through his fingers.

He remembers the darkness too, a rasped whisper of F-Filk that he'll never truly banish from his mind but somehow, here and now, it feels further than it ever has. Maybe he's come to understand the evils within humans a little better. Maybe it's easier to accept now.

Zaveid still looks to him as his home, as his first true Shepherd. And though it still hurts to think of Zaveid forced into something like this, chained to someone against his will, now more than ever it's fuel to be better, to be a safe haven for Zaveid; for the rest of his short days, he can be with him and offer him refuge, offer him all the kindness and hope and gentleness that the world won't, that Zaveid won't seek out for himself.

Sorey rubs his hands up and down Zaveid's back, cheek smushed against his chest, and he thinks that good to see you again, is perhaps the most honest thing he's ever heard Zaveid say, and his heart sings with the truth of it. He'd be their home forever, if he could.]

It's been a long time for you, hasn't it? Did you go home also?

[ Things are never going to be the same between them and Zaveid is more than aware of it; he's known it from the moment he sat in a bed trying to recover, the smell of burning thick in his nose and the familiar weight of his hair gone and disappeared. He's knew it as soon as he heard the whisper of his name from a hellion's mouth - there was no coming back, no going back to how they were. They had to push forward, and it was a tangled, messy web of emotions and thought, trying to scrape the pieces of their hearts into one so that they could come together and figure out how to make things work.

No one else on the Fleet, no one but the seraphim, can possibly understand. Sorey isn't just a friend or his Shepherd; he's his vessel, his protection his safety. He's where Zaveid goes when his heart is heavy and there's too much to bear, it's where he has to go when the malevolence is too much. It's the reason why he can be around Eizen and Velvet and not be afraid, the reason why he can laugh so loud and live so freely - because he has nothing to fear as long as he can turn his head and know that his Shepherd, his vessel, is there to pick him up if he falters and stumbles. Sorey is there, even if Zaveid might never voice it; he'll never admit to needing the support but takes comfort in knowing that Sorey is solid, unmoving and dedicated.

It's going to be easier from now on, he thinks. He has another lifetime behind him, years of standing at Rose's side and protecting Sorey, of knowing that their Shepherd would come back and that they'd be blissful when he did. He knows, feeling the other man in his arms, that they're going to be okay. No matter what happened before it's going to be alright. He believes that.

It's difficult to lean back, to pull his arms away from Sorey and look down at him just because he seeks the closeness after so long apart. Their pact is as strong as it ever was and he feels it like a lump in his throat, shivering through him and making him feel alert and alive in a way he hasn't for a long time. Things had been quiet after Sorey started on Maotelus, after all; he doesn't think things will be as quiet here. ]

Yeah. It's been a lifetime, Sorey.

[ He breathes out; a lifetime. One Shepherd's lifetime. ]

I guess I've just gotta stay ahead of the game.

[So it's true. Just as Lailah said, Rose lives a long life and passes away of old age...before Sorey even shows a hint of waking. Alisha, Sergei, Father Breunor, Lucas, they'll all be long gone by the time Sorey wakes. He'd realized the possibility, maybe even expected it, but hearing it confirmed is bittersweet.

Sorey allows himself a moment of sorrow for that, tucking himself into Zaveid's arms with a small tremble of his shoulders. He never properly said goodbye to Alisha or Sergei, he didn't go out with Lucas like he'd asked, he didn't even stop by to see Father Breunor or any of the Sparrowfeathers-

But there's no changing that. And maybe even if he could've done it all over again, he wouldn't have changed anything. Saying goodbye- it's too hard. How seraphim do it, time and time again, he'll never know.]

I see, [is all Sorey manages, voice thick. At least she lived long, and hopefully happy. If she had everyone with her he can't imagine she didn't.] I'm happy you were with her. You were, right?

[ Lots of people come and go, and that's what it means to be a seraph. It means knowing people and saying goodbye to them; some people last longer, some people hang around for centuries, but humans? They're a flicker of light, really, and some burn brighter than others. Sorey is one of the brightest he'd ever met.

It's nice, he thinks, to wrap Sorey in close and feel warm and happy with it, to feel the gentle rush of something warm in his heart. He tilts his head and leans close, gives himself a few moments to embrace the reality of having his Shepherd back in his arms -- but it's not going to last forever, and he's okay with that. There's going to be more time for him to hang around with him, after all. It's going to be good from here on out.

Leaning back, he watches Sorey before he rolls his eyes. ]

Do you think that I'd let her go running off on her own? The world wouldn't be able to handle it.

[ Right until the end. He never left her, not really. ]

Lailah had mentioned staying with her. [And that was all Lailah said until Sorey asked her not to divulge anything further. He was just satisfied knowing she went peacefully, even if he didn't remember it when he went back home.

Reluctantly he slides back out of Zaveid's arms, though he does hover closely a little bit, enjoying the way the air moves around them as if they were outside.] She fought until the very end, huh?

Yeah. We all stayed with her. [ There had been a bit where he'd been off with Mikleo, of course, but they were never really all that far apart. Their connection was something forged in fire, and they'd stood at her side, watching over her and, by extension, watching over Sorey as well.

Hesitating, Zaveid breathes out before he nods his head, once, allowing the Shepherd to have his freedom. ] Right to the end. She was a good kid - a great woman. [ He bows his head; it feels odd to be without the hat all over again but he doesn't want it. His heart knows that Dezel is here waiting - maybe not for him, but waiting. ] We missed you, though.

Mm. [Some of the regrets Sorey wouldn't allow himself back home are starting to surface, polluting what should be relief and joy at finishing the job, at the success of his plan to act as a vessel. He's happy of course; he's ecstatic that it worked as it should have, that Heldalf finally found rest even if he hadn't wanted it, that Maotelus accepted him and that future generations won't have to suffer as much, but at the same time...

At the same time, he wishes he'd gotten to tell them all a proper goodbye.] What about- what about Alisha? Is she okay too? And Sergei?

[ The problem was... They all knew. All the people that knew Sorey and knew he had gone, had done his duty and rested alongside Maotelus... They had all known that he would say goodbye if he could. They'd have done anything to see him, of course, just like Alisha did, but it wouldn't ever be the same. Sorey had touched so many lives, changes so many people, that the world of their lifetimes would never forget. It's only now, in the future, that the whisper of his name is beginning to fade into mythology.

Shaking his head, Zaveid crosses his arms. ] They're all fine. Old and boring, y'know, like humans get.

I can't even picture either of them old... [Probably because he's never seen someone grow old before.] Does Alisha still wear her armor? And Sergei? Are they both retired from knighthood now?

They're humans. They were gonna get there. [ Zaveid is trying his best to shrug it off, but he's not sure about his level of success. ] She did, for a while... They kept on going for as long as they could.

[There's a hint of tired sadness in that; Zaveid has seen his human companions come and go over hundreds and hundreds of years, and now Sorey's left him just the same as Rose had, and as Alisha and Sergei eventually will. That knowledge is more than enough for Sorey to put aside his own homesickness to reach out and grip Zaveid's arm, squeezing.]

Yeah...I thought they might. [He smiles, quiet and understanding.]

[ It's not a relief, exactly, that Sorey is so understanding, but... It's something. It helps nudge the edge of panic away from Zaveid and helps him relax, nodding his head even as he lifts his hand, ruffling up his Shepherd's hair all over again. It's so good to see him that Zaveid is completely overwhelmed for a moment, just basking in the knowledge that Sorey is back. ]

We're all okay, Sorey. Really.

[Reaches up to fix his hair, smiling crookedly at Zaveid. He taps his chest invitingly.] Well. Wanna go to the gardens with me? For a little bit.

Just a little bit, huh? [ Zaveid grins, but he's soon moving close, letting himself move to dwell back inside Sorey - and that? That feels like coming home, and there's a moment of pure happiness that swells over him. ] Like I never left.

I aired the place out for you. Dusted, swept the floors... [That's much better, that's how it should be. It feels a little weird to say it, but ever since making the pact Sorey never quite feels like himself unless he has someone with him. Zaveid is an old, strong presence; it's almost like having Gr-

...like having a guardian along with him.]

[ It makes Zaveid laughs and he shakes his head, as comfortable as ever as he settles into the familiarity of his vessel. ]

You wanna explain to me how you dusted in here from out there?

That's a special vessel technique that I'm not allowed to share. [Though he probably feels a lot better than he did the last time he was in the Fleet. The terror of becoming a hellion feels further away, his stress and doubts less immediate. They aren't gone entirely but those few weeks back home- well, they worked wonders.]

[ Is he supposed to stop laughing? Maybe, but it doesn't happen. Instead, all he does is laugh more. ] Jeez, Sorey. You're just gonna make me even more curious!

[Zaveid's always so big with his emotions. It's really nice actually, after facing Heldalf empty and alone.] A lot of things happened, is all. It helped me clear my head a little.

[And because they'll have to face it at some point, Sorey might as well do it now while he has Zaveid with him. So he leans back against the wall, hands folded behind his back as he closes his eyes.] I...I remember using your name. Back home. ...we armatized and nothing bad happened to you.

[ He's always felt a lot, let his emotions explode inside of him - anger, happiness, pain, all of it there as loud and intense as a thunderstorm - but he tries his best to manage them. He wants control, even if it hurts him to think about it. ] You don't have to tell me. It's not been easy, has it?

[ He breathes out, though, hesitating for a moment before he relaxes. He lets his emotions - soft, gentle, trusting - thrum through their connection before he dares to speak. ] Yeah. I remember doing it too. We were fine. [ We'll be fine here, too, is what he means. ]

[It hasn't been easy, but Zaveid doesn't need to be told that. No, more importantly, they both remember what it was like to be together without that gut-wrenching fear. It's a step in the right direction and Sorey can feel the change as if it were a tangible thing; the same change that preceded his armatizing again with Mikleo.] Yeah. It was...just like normal. [He doesn't make a move to try it here though. Not just yet. Maybe- maybe after the memories settle.]

[ There's no point pretending as though this has been an easy journey for any of them; it's taken a long time for them to get to where they are. Zaveid's had sixty more years, too, to help ease the tension in his heart, and settling here with Sorey again... He doesn't feel that same discomfort, that same uncertainty. He doesn't feel like it might end badly for them all. ] We can be normal again. [ Zaveid's voice is airy, light. ] We just gotta try.

I want to, [Sorey says honestly, because he does.] But my head's all jumbled right now...remembering a whole year all of a sudden is kind of jarring. [It might sound like a flimsy excuse but it's there nonetheless. He doesn't want to just leap feet first into this, not this. They both deserve more careful consideration than that, while they have the space and time for it.]

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airily - 2017-05-21 02:16 (UTC) - Expand