Chapter One

[mech_and_mutt]

Who: Red Savarin and special guest, you!
Broadcast: Live, coast to coast
Action: The grand entrance of a new cast member on the Marsiva
When: Half past April 28th

"Come onnn...!"

Oddly-hurried footsteps followed the frustrated muttering on the video feed; those who glanced up as the sounds grew louder might have caught a moment of that bipedal canine- one fairly well dressed for piloting work, at that- jogging right through and past the frame before those sounds of movement hesitated.

"There's gotta be-- ah, maybe...?"

A soft, dull mechanical noise came through the speakers... followed by a wet, sopping plop. To those more familiarized ears, it sounded a bit like one of the food dispensers issuing out some of its--

"Ughhh!!"

Oh yeah. It was a food dispenser. And soon, it was Red rushing past the camera once again, his expression looking all the more frustrated on the second pass.

"Where're they keepin' the real food?!"

Comments

Action

[nonono7]

Red is not alone on the Marsiva, of course. One of his fellow... captives? Is a tall pink-haired human-looking girl, who is watching Red curiously.

After that loud plop and annoyed question, that curiosity wins out, and Nono goes to take a look at that plate of food-

"What IS that!?"

[this_loser]

[A fellow occupant of the Marsiva stands by, carefully out of the way and curiously watching. He'd seen a lot of strange creatures since leaving Insomnia, but nothing like this guy.]

What kind of food were you hoping for?

[Dog food? Would it be rude to say that out loud? Probably.]

Video

[continuousgroaning]

[Tina just... stares for a while. OK, she's seen some strange folk since coming here, but still, a talking dog? This was new.]

Uhm, you mean the protein isn't real food? Just kidding, I know it's not... really... actual food...

[mech_and_mutt]

"Good question." An indignant scowl on his face, he cautiously prodded the cubed compound with his platter's accompanying All-Purpose Concave Protein Consumption Utensil.

Somehow, it managed to look even less appetizing when it collapsed into a misshapen mush in response.

"But apparently it's all they're servin'."

[mech_and_mutt]

You know, normal stuff!

[Okay, maybe that wasn't much of an answer. Another sample of that... substance was dropped aside, and quietly cleaned up moments later by a small, nonplussed cleaning 'bot.]

Eggs, bread... somethin' I'd find in the pantry instead of the plumbing.

[mech_and_mutt]

[Wait. Was one of those videos addressing him? That was a first. Was he on camera already?

Well, it was nice hearing a voice from the speakers that wasn't that annoyingly-gleeful one that gave him his welcome. Maybe this girl could even hold a conversation.]

I couldn't tell you what it is. Just tell me there's somewhere I can find a sandwich or somethin'.

[nonono7]

"What happened to real food! Miso soup? Sushi? Hamburgers!? Foie gras?!" Nono, most people don't eat foie gras.

"Mmmrrrrnnnn good thing I don't have to eat."

[mech_and_mutt]

"Omelettes, steak with-- uaagh, you're just makin' me hungry now!"

...Wait. Something seemed off about something she just said.

"...What do you mean you don't have to eat?"

[nonono7]

"Well of course I still like to eat. Real food! Not this. But I'm also a robot."

Look, Nono doesn't mince words. Also it's not that strange from the time she's from.

[mech_and_mutt]

Aaaand that went from 'odd' to 'downright confusing' in a hurry. Red was left standing, staring and ruminating over some words that were even harder to digest than the protein paste.

Not quite bearing in mind his more proper manners, he gave Nono a quick walk-around;.... nnnope, no angle really looked like anything he'd call a robot. And he'd piloted his share of them!

"...You sure about that?"

[nonono7]

Okay, so Nono's never been asked to prove her robotness before. How does she go about doing that? She doesn't know!

UM

UM

"Yes?"

She definitely looks human from all angles, though. Her skin is soft, no metal bits anywhere... her pupils are a weird starburst shape, but that's about it.

[this_loser]

[So... not dog food.]

Oh. Well, I haven't found anything like that around here, unless they have a very well hidden pantry with the good stuff.

[mech_and_mutt]

...On the other hand, would it even be the strangest thing that's happened to him today? Still, it wasn't like he could just let this go. What if she really was a robot?

"Can ya fire a missile or somethin'...?"

[mech_and_mutt]

Great.

[Well, if this guy hasn't found anything either...]

So have you tried it yet? S'it as bad as it looks?

1/2

[nonono7]

"I don't... I don't have any missiles...." She sounds ashamed. "I have beams, but it's probably not safe to use those aboard a ship."

2/4 I lied

[nonono7]

"WAIT I KNOW! I can use a rocket punch!"

She THRUSTS HER ARM FORWARD IN A PUNCH.

Nothing happens.

3/4

[nonono7]

She continues to stand there, arm extended....

[nonono7]

After a couple moments like that, she pulls her arm back. Starts examining her own wrist.

"Hm.... Do you have a screwdriver?"

[mech_and_mutt]

"I don't think I like where this is goin'."

...But nobody would embarrass themselves like that just for the heck of it, either. And it did give him something to think about other than his empty stomach.

He held up the All-Purpose Concave Protein Consumption Utensil. "Will this work?"

[this_loser]

It's... I mean, it's edible?

[He had grown rather accustomed to Ignis' cooking. Everything paled in comparison.]

[nonono7]

There's almost a full minute of laborious work, twisting and digging into her wrist that still seems fully human. Right up until her hand pops off. And falls onto the floor.

"Aha! I did it!"

To make her rocket punch come true, though, it requires more. And so she picks up her hand with her other hand, then throws it.

It's not just a normal throw, though. There does seem to be some thrust coming out of the back of her flying hand. It's just, flying really slow. And a little bit wobbly, like it's drunk.

"Rocket PAAAAAWNCH!" The hand strikes the nutrient machine, which spits out a random assortment of solid and semi-solid foodstuff.

[mech_and_mutt]

Really? That's surprising.

[He gave a prod to one such congealed cubic mass with a fingertip and watched flat-faced as it gave an unappetizing wiggle.

Maybe if he drowned in sauce or something... but that was probably made of the same stuff.]

Well, I'll probably have to get used to it sooner or later. ...So what did it taste like?

1/

[mech_and_mutt]

Seeing her jam that thing into her own wrist gave him some pause. And a wince. I mean, it wasn't like there was any blood--

[mech_and_mutt]

no, just her hand coming off--

3/3

[mech_and_mutt]

AND FLYING ROCKET PROPELLED ACROSS THE ROOM OH MY GOD

"THAT IS AMAZING"

For however nonplussed he was at her claim before, he was nearly starry-eyed at seeing her robotic... capability in the flesh. Or-- in the metal.

"You-- wh-- but you look so--"

His amazement seemed to have wrapped right around his tongue.