Chapter One

[mech_and_mutt]

Who: Red Savarin and special guest, you!
Broadcast: Live, coast to coast
Action: The grand entrance of a new cast member on the Marsiva
When: Half past April 28th

"Come onnn...!"

Oddly-hurried footsteps followed the frustrated muttering on the video feed; those who glanced up as the sounds grew louder might have caught a moment of that bipedal canine- one fairly well dressed for piloting work, at that- jogging right through and past the frame before those sounds of movement hesitated.

"There's gotta be-- ah, maybe...?"

A soft, dull mechanical noise came through the speakers... followed by a wet, sopping plop. To those more familiarized ears, it sounded a bit like one of the food dispensers issuing out some of its--

"Ughhh!!"

Oh yeah. It was a food dispenser. And soon, it was Red rushing past the camera once again, his expression looking all the more frustrated on the second pass.

"Where're they keepin' the real food?!"

Comments

Action

[nonono7]

Red is not alone on the Marsiva, of course. One of his fellow... captives? Is a tall pink-haired human-looking girl, who is watching Red curiously.

After that loud plop and annoyed question, that curiosity wins out, and Nono goes to take a look at that plate of food-

"What IS that!?"

[mech_and_mutt]

"Good question." An indignant scowl on his face, he cautiously prodded the cubed compound with his platter's accompanying All-Purpose Concave Protein Consumption Utensil.

Somehow, it managed to look even less appetizing when it collapsed into a misshapen mush in response.

"But apparently it's all they're servin'."

[nonono7]

"What happened to real food! Miso soup? Sushi? Hamburgers!? Foie gras?!" Nono, most people don't eat foie gras.

"Mmmrrrrnnnn good thing I don't have to eat."

[mech_and_mutt]

"Omelettes, steak with-- uaagh, you're just makin' me hungry now!"

...Wait. Something seemed off about something she just said.

"...What do you mean you don't have to eat?"

[nonono7]

"Well of course I still like to eat. Real food! Not this. But I'm also a robot."

Look, Nono doesn't mince words. Also it's not that strange from the time she's from.

[mech_and_mutt]

Aaaand that went from 'odd' to 'downright confusing' in a hurry. Red was left standing, staring and ruminating over some words that were even harder to digest than the protein paste.

Not quite bearing in mind his more proper manners, he gave Nono a quick walk-around;.... nnnope, no angle really looked like anything he'd call a robot. And he'd piloted his share of them!

"...You sure about that?"

[nonono7]

Okay, so Nono's never been asked to prove her robotness before. How does she go about doing that? She doesn't know!

UM

UM

"Yes?"

She definitely looks human from all angles, though. Her skin is soft, no metal bits anywhere... her pupils are a weird starburst shape, but that's about it.

[mech_and_mutt]

...On the other hand, would it even be the strangest thing that's happened to him today? Still, it wasn't like he could just let this go. What if she really was a robot?

"Can ya fire a missile or somethin'...?"

[this_loser]

[A fellow occupant of the Marsiva stands by, carefully out of the way and curiously watching. He'd seen a lot of strange creatures since leaving Insomnia, but nothing like this guy.]

What kind of food were you hoping for?

[Dog food? Would it be rude to say that out loud? Probably.]

[mech_and_mutt]

You know, normal stuff!

[Okay, maybe that wasn't much of an answer. Another sample of that... substance was dropped aside, and quietly cleaned up moments later by a small, nonplussed cleaning 'bot.]

Eggs, bread... somethin' I'd find in the pantry instead of the plumbing.

[this_loser]

[So... not dog food.]

Oh. Well, I haven't found anything like that around here, unless they have a very well hidden pantry with the good stuff.

[mech_and_mutt]

Great.

[Well, if this guy hasn't found anything either...]

So have you tried it yet? S'it as bad as it looks?

[this_loser]

It's... I mean, it's edible?

[He had grown rather accustomed to Ignis' cooking. Everything paled in comparison.]

[mech_and_mutt]

Really? That's surprising.

[He gave a prod to one such congealed cubic mass with a fingertip and watched flat-faced as it gave an unappetizing wiggle.

Maybe if he drowned in sauce or something... but that was probably made of the same stuff.]

Well, I'll probably have to get used to it sooner or later. ...So what did it taste like?

[this_loser]

It's food. Kind of.

[It wouldn't do any good if it weren't edible.]

It was like vanilla, I guess. But luke warm. It might be okay if it were cold. You could almost pretend it's pudding.

1/2

[mech_and_mutt]

Pudding? ...Huh. Now that you mention it...

[It DID look a little bit like custard or something when it took the shape of those more dense, congealed-looking blocks. And if it was meant to be something like that, then maybe the delivery method was throwing him off a little bit.

Well. Had to try it sooner or later. That All-Purpose Concave Protein Consumption Utensil took a small scoop out from the gelatinous cube and he tried a bite...]

2/2

[mech_and_mutt]

[...Aaaand he almost chokes on it. It may have been a pale yellowish-tan color, but...]

...I think that was supposed to be chicken.

I think.

Video

[continuousgroaning]

[Tina just... stares for a while. OK, she's seen some strange folk since coming here, but still, a talking dog? This was new.]

Uhm, you mean the protein isn't real food? Just kidding, I know it's not... really... actual food...

[mech_and_mutt]

[Wait. Was one of those videos addressing him? That was a first. Was he on camera already?

Well, it was nice hearing a voice from the speakers that wasn't that annoyingly-gleeful one that gave him his welcome. Maybe this girl could even hold a conversation.]

I couldn't tell you what it is. Just tell me there's somewhere I can find a sandwich or somethin'.

[continuousgroaning]

Well, that's not likely to happen as long as you're on the Marsiva. I know the protein sucks, but it's better than nothing.

[mech_and_mutt]

Ohhh. Right.

So there's a restaurant ship out there? How do I get to it?

[continuousgroaning]

You're stuck on the Marsiva for now, 'til they decide to assign you someplace. Uhm, there's no restaurant ships, but the Iskaulit has a few bars... which I'm too young to go to... and sometimes individual ships have real food supplies they pick up when we stop on planets.

[mech_and_mutt]

[The words "sometimes" and "real food" were a bit too close together for his liking...]

So you're sayin' I get used to this or starve, huh?

[continuousgroaning]

Sadly. You can make it taste somewhat palatable, at least- as long as you combine flavors that go together well. I can make it taste pretty good, but I think that's my augment more than any natural skill.

[mech_and_mutt]

What flavors? So far I had one that tasted like a mouthful of grass and one that tasted like... chicken. I think. [Maybe whoever flavored it only had ever had it described to them.]

Which ones have you been usin'?