driftfleet | ( #004 )

Who: Hermione Granger and you!
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Vanquish
When: Today!

[ The feed starts out with Hermione sitting on her bed, looking absolutely miserable. It's obvious that she hasn't slept, not really, and when she speaks her voice is quiet and, more than anything, sad. ]

Cisco isn't here anymore. [ She's lost people before, but she never gets used to it. It's never fair, and it's not right. It's not right that you get to be this close to people and then they get taken away from you. ] I don't think he's the only one that's gone this time, but it's - I don't think it's my place to talk about anyone else.

[ She's doing this because Cisco was her partner, after all. Her boyfriend. She'd been so happy.

I'm not sure what's left in his lab, but - I didn't want to touch anything. I'm sorry for anyone that knew him, but... He's probably happier at home, so it's okay in the end.

[ The feed cuts off, abruptly, because she didn't want to think about it anymore - it was easier to just turn it off and put the device to one side and pretend for a little while. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She never chooses text. Doesn't like text at all. It's so devoid of any kind of emotional clues to read. And usually she doesn't care if hers are being read. She tends to be honest to a fault. Almost aggressively honest in some cases. But she could use some of that pretending today too.]

You're not wrong. [She didn't know about Cisco and she doesn't know about the others yet, but she knows about Winn, and she's not making one of these posts. He deserves it. His friends deserve it. But she deserved a life with him so no one gets what they deserve today.]

[ Sometimes it's just easier. Sometimes text makes it... Better, just a little, because there's no facing the emotions or the hurt or - any of it, really. ]

It's not okay, but I'm sure he's happy. [ She hopes the same is true for the others - Hermione knows about Winn, too, and she's careful and uncertain. ] I wish it was easier for the people left behind, though.

He was happy with you too. [She's glad she didn't try voice or video. She's already not holding it together. She used to be so stoic and now it's like the tears don't stop. It may be healthier, but it goes through a lot of tissues and kind of sucks.]

There are messages on the network that Winn left for people. You probably know, but just in case. I'm sorry about Cisco.

I saw there was one for me. I'm not sure if I'm ready to look at it yet.

[ There's only so much you can take in a day, really, and facing Winn saying goodbye when she can't do anything in return isn't fair. ]

I'm sorry too. About Winn.

Thanks. It'll still be there when you are. [She didn't know if she could start, and now she can barely stop listening.]

Their fans must be a little sadistic. [Not that she has any shock to this concept. Of course they are if they are watching them trapped like this, but even worse to pull people away from their loved ones for some kind of ratings kick. Assuming that is the reason.]

It's good to know that there's something. I know we don't always get the chance, considering how random it all is. [ But... It doesn't make it easier.

The words inspire a bitter laugh, though, and Hermione flops back on her bed as she replies. ] I genuinely thought I was used to sadism, but I suppose the people in Atroma's world just like it too much.

I thought so too. [She'd seen horrors, but she had also numbed herself to it. She's been out of that environment long enough that she's learned to let things in again and it hurts in ways she doesn't know how to guard against anymore.]

Is there anything I can do? [She doesn't actually know if there is anything she can do. She's barely doing for herself, but helping people is a comfort zone even if it's more comfortable when she can hit things on their behalf. She's guessing Hermione probably doesn't need anyone hit except the Atroma and they could both use that.]

I'm glad he thought to leave us something. It's very like him. [ Always thinking of other people, always considering them - and it makes her miss him, even more, fiercely and desperately. All she can do is focus on that, on the fond memories rather than the hurt.

Still... There's not much to be done, and Hermione just tries her best to focus on the future. ] I don't think there's anything we can do other than try and keep going.

It is. I don't have notes to leave. I never have. [But she told him every day. Maybe she should make some for the others though. She's not alone just because Winn is gone.]

Persisting is my specialty. Keep walking. [Something a different Allen Walker told her once.]

I honestly didn't think about it, but now... [ Now she thinks that, maybe, she ought to try and pen some of her own letters, just in case. She knows how sad it is to be left behind, now, and...

At least they have people that understand one another. ] Keep walking. I think I can do that.

I might too. [But not now. Not yet. It's too fresh and painful. Then again taking to the ones she'd be leaving behind might remind her just how many people she still has here who care about her and who she cares about.]

Good luck with everything.

You too. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here, okay?

Same for you. Maybe even in voice or video or person one of these days. [Just not yet.]