001; video

[wingedman]

Who: Sam Wilson
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!

Well, now, this is real nice, isn't it? [Judging by the dry tone of Sam's voice, it isn't.] Not that I was doing anything important back home, but it sure as hell beats being scooped up and used to boost ratings on some sort of intergalactic Big Brother. [And, muttered to himself:] I don't even wanna know what happens if you get voted off.

[Back in a normal voice:] So, I'm Sam. Earth, twenty-first century. Guess I'm stuck here for a few days, huh? On the totally not creepy uninhabited giant spaceship. Yeah, I can see the ratings skyrocketing already. This sure better not be some kinda horror show, 'cause I know the black guy's always the first person to get killed by the out of control robots.

-nah, just kidding, they never even have black guys in space to begin with, I'm safe.

[sam what r u even on about]

Also, this food sucks big-time. Come on, can't they feed TV stars better than this? Why couldn't I get trapped on Food Network?

Comments

video

[directed]

You've likely gotten several warnings about the food being worse outside of the ship you're currently trapped on.

They're all entirely true. [And he's British, so according to every cliche, Rip should be an expert on bad food.] It would be to your benefit to stow as much as you can on your person now, so you'll have it with you when you're transported to whichever ship you've been assigned to.

Because unfortunately, your stay will last rather more than a few days, I'm afraid.

[wingedman]

So what's the best way to smuggle this stuff out? Shampoo bottles, toothpaste tubes, just straight up stealing it?

[You know. Just for reference.]

[directed]

No smuggling required. Just be wary of what you put down; when they're ready to place you, you'll get transported instantaneously and without warning.

But there will be confetti thrown into your face once you arrive.

[Such things you have to look forward to, Sam.]

[wingedman]

Confetti.

[Sam sounds a little incredulous.]

Sounds like a nice little welcoming party.

[directed]

Oh, and pudding.

[Rip is equally not a fan.]

It's utterly ridiculous and galling, but then, I'd dare you to find any aspect of this affair that somehow isn't.

[wingedman]

Does anyone on the ships actually show up to celebrate, or will I just be left alone with my confetti and pudding? 'Cause confetti by yourself is just sad.

[directed]

I suppose it rather depends on which ship you're assigned to.

[Rip had gone through one of those sad celebrations. Just as well; he'd rather not have had anyone present when he suddenly showed up, pockets stuffed full of whatever goods he could find on the Marsiva, confetti suddenly billowing up around him.]

There's a greater likelihood of company now that we've been in this system for a time, I'd wager. [And after the events of the Dreadhorse infiltration and what followed. Rip had certainly been spending more time on the ship in the aftermath.]