001; video

[wingedman]

Who: Sam Wilson
Broadcast: Fleetwide
Action: Marsiva
When: Today!

Well, now, this is real nice, isn't it? [Judging by the dry tone of Sam's voice, it isn't.] Not that I was doing anything important back home, but it sure as hell beats being scooped up and used to boost ratings on some sort of intergalactic Big Brother. [And, muttered to himself:] I don't even wanna know what happens if you get voted off.

[Back in a normal voice:] So, I'm Sam. Earth, twenty-first century. Guess I'm stuck here for a few days, huh? On the totally not creepy uninhabited giant spaceship. Yeah, I can see the ratings skyrocketing already. This sure better not be some kinda horror show, 'cause I know the black guy's always the first person to get killed by the out of control robots.

-nah, just kidding, they never even have black guys in space to begin with, I'm safe.

[sam what r u even on about]

Also, this food sucks big-time. Come on, can't they feed TV stars better than this? Why couldn't I get trapped on Food Network?

Comments

[wingedman]

I'll try to avoid ruining any good name you've made for yourself here. No promises, though.

[collegedropout]

Oh, don't worry. I'm the local weird guy best known for getting people drunk and suggesting people get spiritual tattoos. You've got nothing to worry about.

[wingedman]

I'm wanted in more than a hundred countries back home.

-spiritual tattoos?

[collegedropout]

... I mean, that's pretty bad. I've been on the FBI's wanted list myself, but I don't really leave the states, so. I guess you've got me beat there. [He's chill about it, because it's like... whatever. He hasn't even been arrested for attempting to get the devil out of the president yet, but we'll get there someday]

I usually save the weird supernatural stuff for the second date, Other Sam.

Uuuh. How open are you to demons?

[wingedman]

[To be fair, Sam sounds equally chill about being a wanted criminal, so.]

I've met gods? Well, a god. And he's really an alien, I guess. I do more comic books than weird supernatural shit. You know, superheroes, that sort of thing.

[collegedropout]

Oh, let me guess -- Thor, right?

Wanda'd told me about him, when I brought up finding his hammer at some god auction.

[wingedman]

...a god auction?

[Okay, that's just weird, even by Sam's standards.]

[collegedropout]

Oh yeah. I mean, Excalibur was there. And special Tablets written by God.

But also, Thor's hammer. Really awesome at smiting people, if you're in a pinch.