driftfleet | A Goldstone-y Mingle!

Oh, come on. You always knew it was a big deal or you wouldn't have lied in the first place.

Kara, I don't want to keep talking about the past. I can't change what family I was born into or the choices I made then. How do you feel about me now?

Right this second?

[ kara, don't be petty. she resets slightly with a sigh ]

The thing is... [ she scoffs a bit. all of this is haaard ] People did suggest breaking up, and I thought about it. Right when you told me I thought about it, but I felt really defensive when anyone else brought it up.

I like you, Mon-El. And it— I mean. More than I've liked anyone else. And it took me a few days to figure out if I just wanted to hang on because so many people left and I'm so tired of being alone but that's not it at all. I felt this way about you when everyone was here.

But I'm still upset. I'm upset because I like you and it kind of... scares me, honestly. I know it's possible to be your own person, out of the shadow of your parents. I'm not proud of everything my parents did, not by a long shot.

[ Kara you're rambling. what are you even saying ]

Right now, I want to make this work, but I'm scared of being proven wrong.

[It does not feel great to hear that she was crowd sourcing their relationship. But he is glad she still has people to turn to. He's mostly spent the last few days trying to be the sort of person she'd want to come back to while trying not to think about how much it would hurt to lose her after being with her.

He moves in closer to her. It's his favorite place to be. He keeps his hands to himself as much as he wants to just pull her in for a hug and protect her heart with all of his strength.]

Hurting you is the last thing I ever want to do. And I hate that I did. If it happens again I'm the first person who would want you to throw me out of an airlock.

But I want to move forward with you without any secrets. Just you and me and all this love and admiration I feel for you.

[ they can get closer. that can be a thing that happens. eye contact can also be a thing that happens ]

I believe you. And I believe you can be better than you were. And I can be better than I have been.

I'm sorry I took so long.

[His breathing hitches when she apologizes because it feels like the most definitive word on wanting to stay with him. At least he hopes it is. And it is nearly overwhelming. He doesn't lean in for a kiss. It feels like a moment where he needs the reassurance of a hug and maybe she does too. A nice tight one where they can both squeeze without anyone's ribs accidentally snapping.]

Does that mean what I think it means?

[ she does need a hug. one where she presses her face against his chest and breathe in his scent and feel like no one's going anywhere ]

I'm still in if you are.

Yes, yes, mark me down for in. Very in. Totally in. [He gives her a squeeze.] Gods, I missed you.

I missed you too. It wasn't fair of me to keep this going on for so long. I just needed to know for sure how I felt.

And good about me is the feeling of choice, right?

Yes. Yes it is.

[ they're still hugging, right? she wants to still be hugging ]

I just want to stay here for awhile.

[Always hugging. Forever hug.] In my room or in my arms? Because I vote yes.

I mean, your room is fine. But I'd be happy in your arms anywhere.

Even in public? [There's still a part of him that thinks she decided to settle for him. For which he is grateful of course. The self esteem is not high despite the appearance of confidence.]

Yes, even in public.

[That makes him smile. He kisses the top of her head.] Curl up on the bed?

Yes please.

[ she breaks away but keeps their fingers entwined ]

Also I want you to know—it wasn't in a gossipy way that I talked to people. I just needed to sort through some things out loud, and Winn just left, and Alex isn't here...

So, it wasn't a general announcement I just missed? [He didn't think it was that though "people" still sounds so plural.]

I didn't want to do it after Winn left, but I didn't want to keep not doing it either and he was encouraging me. He didn't know what it was, but he could tell something was bothering me.

[ ~~it was only four people~~ ]

He has a tendency to make us challenge ourselves sometimes, whether we like it or not.

[~~Practically a small army!~~]

He does. [He pulls her closer on the bed.] I miss him. Sometimes I still think about things I want to tell him, but I guess it's going to be awhile.

[ she flops ]

You could write them down? I don't know if we can bring stuff from here back home but it can't hurt.

Do you do that? For anyone? [Thinking maybe for Alex.]

Sometimes, yeah.

I write to my mother sometimes.

Eliza?

No.

I don't have the hologram room here, so I can't go talk to her. Not that it's ever been her but— there was comfort in it.

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