Calibration Post 1, "Daytime"

[thespaceopera]

[ Not long after the shuffle, there's a ripple of static over the network - loud, sudden, and seemingly with no origin. It's puzzling, but there's no indication that it's going to happen again...

Until a minute later. Another surge of static comes in over the speakers, and then a voice - one some may find familiar, though not necessarily welcome, after all of this time... It's Diamond. Long time no speak, hmm?

Clearly, not all is well. She sounds very far away, for one. For another, she sounds... skeptical, almost alarmed. There may actually be real concern in her voice. ]

Again? Twice in one c--

[ Her sentence is cut short with a strangled gasp, followed by a moment of silence. What follows may be the sound of metal dragged across metal, but it's hard to place. When she speaks again, it's uncharacteristically monotonous. ]

... Bring them in.

[ A blip of lost time passes right after those words, before every passenger mysteriously wakes alone in their own unfamiliar room. The style of decor resembles that of the Marsiva's Hospitality Deck, if any passengers should remember what that's like. It sounds and smells the same as the host ship as well, all clean and chrome, but this set of rooms has only been used once, and for the very same purpose that befalls the fleet contestants now.

As for their hosts, there is no immediate sign of them, though some may recall a series of hideous, half-electronic screams before their memories begin to blur upon arrival...

Welcome back to the Marsiva, dear passengers. It's time for round two of calibrations. ]

[ This mingle will cover all non-calibration room interactions. Please continue to come back to it for the duration of the plot! You are, of course, free to post any other mingles/posts/etc. that you'd like. ]

Comments

[ahappylie]

Other than having to leave Saizou behind... [Which honestly worries him more than being without a weapon right now.] No, not really.

[Not yet.]

Have you been alright? And your family?

[bythewaves]

I... dislike having my... issues so clearly on view. But my kinsfolk have not stumbled across me yet, which... I am grateful for. I do not wish to worry them further. I did find my cousin, but not yet my brother.

[ahappylie]

[Something he'd like to keep secret from his family? How interesting...]

Is there much they don't already know which they'd need to worry about?

[bythewaves]

Not really. [ Maglor sighs ] We don't hide much from each other. But they... don't know how bad it got. And Maedhros... will blame himself. I don't... need him to know, how delicate the line I walk truly is.

[ahappylie]

[He tilts his head, curious now at what Maglor might mean. There are several lines a person can walk, but the way he speaks and their past conversations make Okita wonder. Just what was it that Maglor did in the past to make him so...remorseful?]

Is it a line you still have trouble with from day to day?

[bythewaves]

Yes. No.

[ Maglor sighs softly ]

Soujirou, I am... not the most sane. I am... well aware of how tenous my hold on sanity is, some days. I hold now by the grace of the Valar and the love of my brother. He doesn't... need to know how badly his death broke me. He has so much guilt to carry already. He's aware that it hurt me. That's enough. I am alright. I have to be.

[ahappylie]

[To be honest, he'd been wondering about that, but hearing Maglor admit that his sanity wasn't complete and that his brother had died? It's any wonder that Maglor was having trouble with this place. He had vague inklings that something was very wrong here, but every morning they evaporated along with his dreams.]

The last time I heard someone say they "have to be" alright, it was when they were closest to not being so.

Would it not be better to talk with him about this? Before he finds out on his own?

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor laughs softly, the sound without joy ]

I know that feeling well. But I cannot tell him. If I have my way, he will never know. He broke, you see. Once before. It's how I lost him, in the end. We asked him for more than he could give, and Maedhros, he never refused us anything, even though he should have. I won't make that mistake again.

I will hold. I must.

[ahappylie]

[I will hold. I must.

Okita looks up at Maglor for a moment, his face unreadable as he regards the elf. For someone so old, sometimes he seems so fragile - like he's made of sand and held together only by the morning dew. Although elves cannot die in the traditional sense, they still feel grief as poignantly as any human, and the emotion is threaded through the strain Okita can feel in his voice.

Is this how she saw me that day?

The moment passes and Okita smiles again, tilting his head to one side.]

Then you must hold. No matter what you have to do, you must not break and you mustn't let him see.

[He's well practiced at it himself. He's been able to keep everywhere here at arm's length so far and no one seems to be that concerned with his well-being so far. It isn't so hard, Maglor. It can only kill you.]

[bythewaves]

[ Soujirou isn't wrong, of course. Age and guilt does things to minds, and immortal ones are no less susceptible to those ravages than mortal ones. More, maybe, because they can't forget, elven memory being evergreen. ]

Yes. [ He smiles sadly at him ]

Thank you for understanding, Soujirou. I'll be alright. I can wait until he's gone again.

[ahappylie]

[He wonders what it means that Okita can empathize with an old soul like Maglor. Although he likes to think that when he smiles, he can still keep the sorrow from his eyes. The weight Maglor carries with him might be too heavy for that though.

In time, would Okita look the same?]

Of course.

[He pauses.]

But if things become too heavy, you will seek help, won't you?

[bythewaves]

I...

[ He hesitates. It is reasonable to do so, argues Curufin's ghost. But to burden others with his pain is wrong, argues Caranthir's. He deserves to break, argues Celegorm's, but the memory of the Ambarussa lay insubstantial heads on his shoulders, and remind him that he worries people, when he hides. ]

I will try, Soujirou.

[ahappylie]

[He isn't sure if he completely believes Maglor will go for help. If it were him, he knows he wouldn't. He's still hiding the darkness in his chest and his real self from everyone here after all. But if nothing else, he can pretend to believe Maglor, and try to help him in a way he can't help himself.

Holding out one hand, he extends his pinky.]

Promise?

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor blinks at the finger and then laughs softly and fondly, old memories in his eyes ]

You have that tradition too? Alright Soujirou.

Pinky promise.

[ Maglor solemly offers his little finger to link with Soujirou's ]

[ahappylie]

[There we go. The lightening of the mood was instantaneously apparent and it makes Okita's smile a little more genuine.]

It's an old tradition in my country as well.

[He links their pinkies and gives it a little squeeze before letting go.]

What do they do in your land if you break a solemn vow like this? In ours, there's a saying:

"If I don't keep my promise, I will drink a thousand needles."

[bythewaves]

We used to say 'or Morgoth will find you'.

[ he grimaces ]

It was perhaps too grim for young ones, but it was also the reality we all lived with.

[ahappylie]

[Morgoth had to be like some sort of boogeyman then, because it certainly sounds ominous.]

Well, drinking a thousand needles isn't exactly lighthearted either. [And yet he still laughs at it.]

The punishment has to fit the crime after all.

So, you can't break your promise to me, Maglor-san. [His expression slips a little, showing his genuine concern for the older elf.]

If the burden becomes too great, you must seek help from someone.

[bythewaves]

[ Soujirou is closer than he knows! ]

True, and my fosterlings were well aware, even at that age, of how truly terrible the world could be.

[ He smiles at him, and it is firmer, far more determined ]

I promise I will. One thing that cannot be said of my family, that we were ever faithless on our promises!

[ahappylie]

[For better or for worse, most people in his world knew that same thing. He learned it the moment his mother died, followed shortly after by his father due to things his own hands set in motion.

Okita's smile hollows out at the corners for the barest of seconds as the memory comes unbidden, but he's able to push past it quick enough. The years of training himself to smile especially when sad came in handy.]

Good. Then perhaps I will see you soon? I should get back to my room.

[aka not here??? Please believe his lie.]

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor saw that ]

We will. But Soujirou... promise me you will do the same?

[ahappylie]

[He hesitates because he hates lying when it comes to promises. He promised Hijikata he'd never cry again. He was promised that he would be kept at his side as long as he was the strongest in Japan. He promised Tetsu he'd help him get his revenge.

So really when it comes to breaking them, he's old hat by now even if he hates doing it.]

Of course. I never like to let things fester for too long.

[bythewaves]

But you do let them lie for a while. [ Maglor looks at him, and for a moment his eyes are very clear ]

Don't hurt yourself for my sake - for any of our sakes. Please, Soujirou.

[ahappylie]

[His words are like a lance straight through him. He knows he's being seen right now. That is the peril of talking to people who share too many of his own traits.

But still he smiles faintly and shakes his head. He's spent his entire life pretending to be something he's not in one way or another, so what is the harm in doing it a little longer? Thankfully, he has a lot of practice in laughing when he feels no mirth, so he does so now - sounding like he heard a particularly cute joke as he snickers.]

You think too highly of me, Maglor-san. I'm hardly as altruistic as all that.

[Then he spins around once, tucking his hands behind his back as he starts to walk backwards away from the elf.]

If you keep worrying about all of us so much, you're going to start showing your age and get wrinkles. [He reaches up to point right between his own forehead, giving Maglor a wink.] I think I already see some right here.

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor laughs too, but there is something very sadly knowing in his eyes]

Perhaps. And I am old enough to not be vain about a few wrinkles, I should think!

[ahappylie]

You're never too old to care about your looks.

[He says with a smile and a twirl of his hair over his shoulder. It's something Hijikata would have scowled at him for, knowing it was a jab at him. But he's not here now, so there is no one here to scowl, only smile or laugh or dismiss him.]