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[timelysteward]

[Does this look like a harassed clock with a human face? Does it? Good, because it's Cogsworth, sitting in front of a window on the Marvisa and he looks like he just swallowed about a half a dozen lemons. In his tiny brass hands he is holding a piece of paper, and he keeps fiddling with it, shifting it between his two hands.

He puts one brass hand up to his mouth, clears his throat, and then fumbles with the paper for a moment. Could he be ... nervous? It's possible.

Lips pressed together, the time hands on his face twitching, he states flatly.]

Hello. My name is Cogsworth and I am a ... [now he has to look at the word.] Ho-mo-sexual. I realize that I am a ... clock, but I assure you that I am not a ho-mo-sex-ual clock, but a ho-mo-sex-ual man. I have been ... told. Rigorously.

[Here he is glowering.]

That I need to ... 'embrace' this. So. If there are any ... individual males who would not mind ... being complimented by a ... human clock, then, ah. Please! Come forward.

[Okay he'll try a smile but it's more of a sheepish grimace at this point. God help him.]

Comments

[maledictus_semper]

Finally embracing your sexuality, Cogsworth? I must say it's awfully brave of you to admit what you are over the public network. Now, I'm curious who wrote that piece of paper you are holding, unless you wrote it yourself?

[Don't mind this flamboyant eccentric who actually looks rather homosexual himself. In fact, he probably is but he won't tell anyone.]

[timelysteward]

I should say not - wait, wait. What does 'sexuality' mean? [It sounds like it might be something that happens in a brothel but he has to be sure.]

[And he puffs up.] I'll have you know that I wrote this myself - after I had found the appropriate ... term for what I am, thank you Sir.

[servantnotserving]

[If he had hands and a face, he would apply them to one another right now. Alas he doesn't, so he has to settle with muttering under his breath in French for a little while. Wow. He really should have coached him before he let Cogsworth do this. ]

That was...awkward.

[He's drowning in second-hand (candle???) embarrassment. Still, he doesn't want to...discourage Cogsworth being himself, God knows it might help him a little.]

But look at you, being open about it and everything. I'm proud of you, mon ami.

[timelysteward]

[Cogsworth does in fact, have the piece of paper and now he is going to put this to his clock face.]

... it was awful.

[Muttering into his paper, before he pulls it down.]

How can you be proud of me? That was terrible. Beyond that it was ... well I am simply waiting to be shunned now, now aren't I?

[Argh Lumiere.]

[maledictus_semper]

Oh, how embarrassing. Do you really want me to explain what it means?

[Don't mind this space dumpster troll having his little moment of ego stroking. He liked knowing things that others didn't, especially a talking clock. Sorry, Cogsworth.]

It's to do with who you find attractive. Men, women, other....clock people.

[Was that the right phrase?]

What made everything tick for you?

[timelysteward]

[Cogsworth's eyes just narrow, and narrow, and narrow a little more ... until they are small blue slits on the clock face and he grits out between his teeth.]

Yes. Thank you. I have the gist and - and

[Visible. Twitch.]

I ... suppose it was watching the other servant boys at play when I was a young man. I watched them as much as the young serving girls did, and then I realized I had been cursed - I mean. I ... knew what ... ticked.

[Ugh. He sort of hates you right now FancyPants Rudeperson.]

[servantnotserving]

It was terrible. Really, really terrible. Tres gênant. I think the Master would have been able to do it better.

[Look how helpful and supportive he is! ]

But, you are being honest about yourself, and that is what I am proud of.

...Please learn how to flirt properly, though. Please.

[dirtyredneck]

[He's still pretty sure he's hallucinating the talking clock, but if other people were, too, at least he wasn't alone in it. What confused him more, however, was the reason for the post.]

You're looking for a boyfriend? Here?

[Why would you do that to yourself?]

[maledictus_semper]

[Mr FancyPants Rudeperson. That about sums him up right now. Is he gloating at this? Maybe a little. Well, yes he is.]

Servant boys? Ah, I see. Quite attractive were they, hm? I'm assuming this was before you were turned into a clock? Unless, clocks have libidos too and that makes for interesting thoughts indeed.

[The question was, why was he cursed in the first place?]

I have to ask, why were you cursed again?

[timelysteward]

[All right and now he is lost again.]

Pardon me, monsieur, but what is a ... boyfriend?

[timelysteward]

[That is what Cogsworth is going to call you now. Fancypants Rude person. Who does this remind him of ...]

Well I was a servant boy as well - had to start off somewhere. You do not simply become a palace steward over night. [Puff of Professional Pride, then an irritated.] Yes of course became a clock! And I am not ... a clock, I am a clock person and yes I have my own ...what is a libido?

[Narrowed eyes for ever.]

Because someone was inexcusably rude to the Wrong Person.

[timelysteward]

As usual you are a fountain of tact, Lumiere. [Now his face is back into the paper.] Oh, the utter humilation.

[The paper is pulled away with an angry huff.]

And what am I? A ... a homosexual piece of furniture! As much GOOD as it does me, now I am ... outed as myself and I am ... no happier than I was five minutes ago.

[Harrupmph.]

Oh, all apologies. I forgot I was talking to the Greatest Flirt In The Region. Please forgive my Bad Form.

[dirtyredneck]

[...not a response he was expecting.]

Uh... yanno... someone you date. And stuff.

[timelysteward]

[Cogsworth took a moment to process.]

Oh. OH. You mean ... court? Why am I looking to court someone? Well, I'm not. I'm just. Trying to. Be more ... open about who I am and God Forgive this is utterly humiliating.]

[Face. Paper. Again.]

[dirtyredneck]

Then why do you want people to compliment? Ain't that courtin' 'em?

[Back to being confused about the whole point of the announcement.]

[timelysteward]

[Deep sigh from the paper.]

...because Lumiere told me I needed to embrace liking men and try to ... flirt with them and I am just Ruddy Awful at it.

[dirtyredneck]

Oh.

[Well, that... actually made sense.]


Good luck, I guess.

[timelysteward]

Yes thank you very much, kind sir.

[He lifts his head from the paper, and looks at Daryl for a moment.]

You have ... interesting hair.

[See, a compliment. He managed it!]

[dirtyredneck]

[Interesting hair?]

Uh... thanks. [Maybe?]

You got a uh... shiny pendulum?

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[iattractmushi]

[Holy shit there's more than one person who's also a piece of furniture.

He manages to school his expression into something not terribly shocked before he replies.]

I've heard the word 'gay' is also slang for that, if you want something shorter to call yourself.

I guess I wouldn't mind, if you need the practice.

[servantnotserving]

Would you believe me if I lied about it?

[He gives out such an epic eyeroll. ]

You need to give these things time, it will settle, and you will feel better for being honest with yourself. Trust me on this, would I steer you wrong?

[...Probably. ]

A rather foolish thing to forget. Still, this is good for practise. Remember, pick a feature, compliment on it. It is simple.

[unbridles]

[What. That's a talking clock. He's going to ignore the other part of that -- he'll get back to it, but that's a talking clock.]

...Yo, what, so you're a human and a clock? What the hell?

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[touchallthebooks]

[Romance is foreign to the teen but he can at least appreciate how brave this is. So Khadgar picks up his communicator and gives Cogsworth a little smile. He has a scar running down from his left eye to his jaw.]

That was brave. Best of luck.

[spacebro]

[A talking homosexual man clock is one of the more unique forms of life Mon-El has encountered and he thought he was well traveled before the fleet.]

Well, who doesn't like being complimented?

[timelysteward]

I am not entirely certain I believe you now.

[Get an epic glower in turn.]

Oh enough with the clock metaphors! And yes you absolutely would if it would amuse you! Does this amuse you?


[Haaaaaaaaaaaaaarumph.]

Fine. Your waxy head looks delightful.