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Who: Peggy Carter and YOU
Broadcast: Audio + Text
Action: Aboard the Starstruck.
When: Evening

[ it's been a long day. long week. long bloody month. and tonight, in the rebuilt space of a bedroom now properly shared, peggy carter is reading a book. not just any book, really. but that's a story for another time. for now, she's prepared to proceed publicly as though nothing is amiss.

in the handful of hours before bed, she takes to the network with a brief puzzle. ]

VHOILVKQHVV PXVW DOZDBV EH IRUJLYHQ, BRX NQRZ, EHFDXVH WKHUH LV QR KRSH RI D FXUH

[ and attached to the text is an audio messsage. ]

I know it's been a little while since the last one -- and some of you lot who most enjoyed them have gone and left. So we'll ease back into it with something simple. Simple, but no less fundamental. Solving it is all well and good but, as always, there are bragging rights up for grabs for anyone who names the source. Fair warning -- English is the native tongue.

And while I've got your attention, I suppose I ought to do my due diligence [ however reluctantly ] and ask whether anyone else has purchased the upgrade which merges two rooms together. It may be worthwhile to swap notes on how those changes came into effect.

[ and that's that. although she'll be awake for a little while yet -- answering messages and putting on a brave face. truth is, things have gone pear-shaped and she's only just realizing how much recovery yet required. those aboard or visiting the starstruck can find her at her desk, hatch left open, in her and steve's newly merged room. ]

( ooc: and because not everyone has the out-of-character time or inclination for codebreaking, here is the quotation peggy's posted using a caesar shift. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, if you have to take some - all powerful council of corruption.

[ what. that's what it sounds like in a very...literal way. ]

that doesn't sound like a bad team to have.

[ he nudges her with an elbow. ]

[ he's not out of the hot water -- not completely, not yet -- as evidenced by a grimace and a glare. but the nudge is allowed. ]

The Los Angeles branch's chief is a good egg. [ she admits. ] And that helps. Lord knows, he's got more sense and integrity in his little finger than the current New York chief has ever known.

[ still, her head shakes. ]

No wonder we eventually take it apart and salt the earth. Christ.

[ the ssr, she means. to make way for shield. and what a great idea that was. ]

It's what good people do.

[ he reasons. steve had joined shield only because of his founder and he took it down for her sake, too. because he felt it's what she would have done if their places were reversed. ]

They try to make things better.

[ it's all they can do, in the end. ]

[ so optimistic. it's that same optimism -- that same dedication to goodness -- that she'd touted as a fine example while dressing down howard for his more selfish tendencies.

-- suddenly, jarringly, she changes gears. ]

I can't help wondering about his wife. [ maria stark. also a victim, it seems. peggy frowns and flops backward on the bed, her knees still bent over the edge. ] I wonder when he meets her. How he meets her.

[ a glance. ] You'd probably never tell me even if you knew.

I'd tell you but I really don't know. What I know about - home, is mostly what I've learned from some of the files and the Captain America exhibit down at the smithsonian.

[ he grimaces, as if he realizes how sad that is. both the fact that he learned a fair bit from the smithsonian exhibit and the fact that he still thinks of that time as home. ]

It was never mentioned there.

[ home.

it's noticed: the way he calls it his home. thing is, she thinks of it as his home too. she doesn't imagine him as settled and at peace in the 21st century -- and altogether too easily can she imagine him fitting in back in '47. ]

Is there anything else you haven't been saying?

[ of course there is. the vase. she remembers it. but notably, she doesn't ask what he hasn't been saying -- as though she may yet let him reserve the right to withhold some of it. ]

There's so much that happened in four years. It's -

[ it's hard to think about what to tell and what not. shield, hydra, other worlds, six infinity stones, thor's vision - ]

Nothing like that.

[ like death of close friends by the hand of other, brainwashed friends. ]

You can ask. Whatever it is, I'll tell you. SHIELD, Hydra, all of it.

[ what does she need to know about shield and hydra and all of that? arguably, she knows more than he does -- she's pieced together things he's yet to figure out. fenhoff, for one. although most of that is gut assumption rather than hard fact.

she stays where she is -- slumped on the bed -- and formulates her question with a modicum of care.

it's one she's danced around before. ]

You're certain there isn't anyone--? Back in 2016, I mean. [ ...it's not jealousy, exactly. but peggy'd been chewing on this thought since calibrations. something she'd seen in natasha's memories... ]

There's nothing serious in 2016.

[ that's the big question now, is it? he expected something more on the professional line. ]

I'm not a hermit but nothing -

[ awkwardly, he gestures between her and him. nothing like this, he wants to say but he has a sure feeling it'll come out weird. ]

You know.

[ clearing his throat, he shakes his head. ]

It's - I've been there for four years now and I'm fine, all in all but it's not. It doesn't feel like home and I'm not sure it ever will. It makes these things difficult. There's a lot that I still need to figure out.

[ nothing serious. and that's a fair enough assessment, she decides, because she could only ever answer in the same spirit. but the steve goes on to try and put a sharper point on his explanation -- and only manages to blunt it further.

peggy sits up, but only by halves. she's propped on her elbows. he gestures between them before offering him a look -- there would never be, she thinks, anything like this. that's not what she's worried about. not exactly.

so the vase must have been something else. ]

I imagine there's no rush. [ hell, she's not rushing. ] But if there had been -- if there was someone -- I wouldn't be upset. I'd understand.

[ just so long as it's not a blood relative, please. ]

Peggy - that's -

[ unnecessary, he'd like to say. it's absolutely unnecessary. but instead, he gives her a little look, well she asked. ]

I know. At the same time, you know, this isn't home either.

[ not for any of them and yet, unlike the 21st century, this is where steve rogers found something more valuable than anything else he ever had. ]

Waking up here wasn't that different than 2012, not at first. but it's the closest to home I've gotten and that's just because of you.

[ without her, the experience would have been much of the same. foreign, alien, distanced. ]

You know that, right? you've seen it.

[ though he would have preferred she wouldn't have. we can go home, imagine it. ]

[ it isn't as though she could justify any claim on him -- not before his arrival, at least. in truth, they hadn't had more than impossible plans and a last-ditch kiss. peggy hums her reluctant agreement.

reluctant only because it's so damned unfortunate. in moments like these, she feels the weight of lost opportunities. ]

I've seen it. Certainly. [ and what a maudlin show that had been. ] And so I can also understand why you might -- [ she huffs, not quite eyeing the book back on her desk. the ring's not in it any longer, mind. but it stands like a reminder. ] Why you might now find yourself in a rush.

Edited 2017-08-04 21:11 (UTC)

--- Peggy, it's been there since February.

[ he reasons, surely she must see the logic. ]

I'm not in a rush. This isn't about rushing. It's.

[ well. ]

-- are you sure you want to talk about this?

Not at all, actually.

[ not in the least bit sure about anything. except she's sure of him. always. she'd called it faith, once upon a time. and even living in close quarters with him she's maintained it. ]

But we can hardly continue on day-in and day-out with this particular elephant looming in the room, can we?

We could, if you really wanted it.

[ he imagine he would be able to. but she needs this said and done and steve tilts his head, considers and decides to go with the simplest version of the truth. ]

When you and I - met again those were the only times when things made sense to me. People were friendly, everyone wanted to help but nothing felt familiar and there were conversations that were just yours. Half of the time you've poked fun of me but - it felt right.

[ and he needed things to make sense, to be set right, more than he realized. ]

there wasn't a time, not at home and not after when I wasn't proud of you, when I didn't feel grateful for what you've meant. So many of the things that I knew were right and true were things you taught me. I chose that compass for a reason and that never changed. There's not a lot of things I'm sure of but I'm pretty sure it won't change either.

[ much as she is sure of him, he's sure of her. ]

That's what that ring means to me. It was true back in February, it was true before that and it'll stay true. That's what it is. It has nothing to do with rushing, it's simply something that I was always very sure of.

[ always, he says. and isn't that the rub? the ring might as well be synonymous with the word. it's not an always that she's afraid of -- quite the contrary, she'd love to spend an always with him.

problem is, they likely won't be so lucky. and although there's an argument to be made for seizing the day -- the opportunity -- there's another one to be made about overreaching. about giving themselves a taste of something they'll never have in earnest.

even so, his words leave quite an impression. they're as true for her as they are for him -- she may not have ever imbued those feelings into a literal compass, but peggy had tried to live her life by his example. after the war. no matter how hard she tried, her integrity never felt capable of matching his heights.

(others might disagree.)

peggy frowns -- but only, it seems, to keep from smiling. an odd tactic, but nothing new for her. ]

I know. [ maybe she'd always known. ] And, likewise, there's nothing and no one that harbours more of my faith than you do. Steve. But it hardly requires a ring.

You know, if we follow that logic, few things ever really require one.

[ another way to say, if this doesn't justify one, what does? but hell, he's smiling. almost as if her objections are somehow charming or endearing or god help him, cute. for a start, this isn't a bad one.

so that in mind, he shakes his head and decides that it's quite enough for one evening. ]

Alright, now with that out of the way, I'll make you some tea and then we can figure out the rest. can you not move anything else anymore? I still want you surprised come Christmas.

[ he's so serious about it. but surely there isn't a christmas present somewhere in the room.

right? ]

Out of the way? [ she sits up. properly, now, without a slouch in sight. ] Just like that?

[ truthfully, peggy had expected a bit more of a fight. might have welcomed it, maybe. she certainly hadn't anticipated her non-answer to his non-question being met with a smile and an offer to prepare a cuppa. and perhaps that bothers her more than the ring itself. ]

That's remarkably not stubborn of you, darling.

[ darling. so, she can't be that uneasy. surely. ]

Just like that.

[ he affirms, nodding a little. there's a surge of something light and happy bouncing beneath his ribs at her tone of surprise but he tries to keep it quiet, to busy himself with going through the little box where he knows she hides tea bags. ]

Well you know what they say, you're never too old to learn.

[ could be a pod person, really, who knows. ]

[ maybe she's spoiling for a fight -- even now. because as he gets his fingers into the tea bags, she pushes back onto her feet. ]

I won't stop moving things around, you know. It's my room as well as yours. I have a right to shift things about.

[ he turns back to look at her, considers for a moment and - ]

Okay then.

[ and then a firm nod, because after all. ]

You're right.

[ wait. she's right? she doesn't really know what to do with his concession. it makes her bluster (just a little) and causes her brow to crease.

what is this fresh strategy? peggy watches him -- and takes a step toward the door because, in the end, she's rather eager for a cup of tea. especially if he's making it. ]

-- You'll have to find a better spot to hide it, I suppose.

[ because she assumes he'll hide it. again. why wouldn't he? ]

I was just kidding about the Christmas gift, it's safe to poke around.

[ he says with a rather easy smile. apparently, he thinks she's talking about the fake christmas gift he mentioned and not about the ring. ]

You can move as many of my stuff as you want.

[ oh, be careful. now he'll end up coming home some day and finding his art supplies rearranged more to her liking. or his wardrobe organized. or god knows what.

peggy shakes her head -- ] I don't mean Christmas presents. [ ... ] You'll have to find a better place for the ring.

[ she's baiting him. probably. she wants to know what his intentions are with it -- will he keep it? save it? try again? ]

Well, not really.

[ he shrugs as an answer before clarifying: ]

You already know about it. No point in hiding it anymore. It's a bit of a relief, really.

[ trying to find a place she won't stumble across has been difficult the first time and look how that turned out. ]

I'll just have it on my table.

[ openly, that is. ]

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