driftfleet | [open] august starstruck mingle

[Sam just stares for a long moment. This is a hell of a lot more serious than an engagement ring. He didn't even know Steve had the shield here, and now he wants to give it to him?]

Why?

[Which is actually more than one question. Why him, why is he giving it up (it's not something they've discussed much back home; he knows why he doesn't have it anymore, but not much beyond that), why...everything.]

It's not mine. Tony reminded me of that after.

[ he doesn't say after what. There's just no need. The fallout between him and Tony is well known to all. ]

His father made it back in the war. He let me carry it. Maybe he knew it'll be a symbol of something and ir was. It still is. [ but not steve, not anymore. ] Tony didn't want me to have it anymore and I think he was right. This has to be with someone else. I can't carry it anymore - but I think you can.

You know, I'm not really sure you should take what Tony Stark says in an emotionally charged moment as gospel truth, Steve.

[He doesn't have a grudge against Stark anymore - if he did in the first place - but honestly? It's the truth. Neither of them were in their right minds in Siberia. Sam had watched Steve fall apart over time, and-

And he's not sure if this isn't a continuation of that.]

So give me a better reason.

Maybe not but I gotta give him that. I owe him that.

[ and as for a better reason, well. He moves to sit, leans the shield on the side of the chair between them. ]

When I took that I knew what I wanted to do with it, what my purpose was. I'm not sure of it anymore. For a few years, I tried. But I can't. I can't keep running from it either. I need to figure it out and I can't do it. Not while carrying this

Steve. [Sam sits down on the bed, runs a hand over his head.] You've never done anything by halves, have you? Even a goddamn identity crisis. I'm not saying your reasoning doesn't make sense, and I'm not saying I won't take the shield.

[Though whether or not he's going to carry it is another thing entirely. Sam's not sure he deserves it.]

What I'm saying is that I've been worried about you for awhile now - since before the Accords. Hell, most of the time I've known you. And I agree that you need to figure out who you are, but you aren't starting from a healthy place. Maybe you'll never be able to, with all you've seen and done. But I don't know if this is the way to go about it.

Not that anyone can remember.

[ bucky complain over steve's tendency to go all out since they were children, after all. ]

You might be right. You probably are. But I gotta start somewhere and - sometime. We've got to try. It'll be easier here than back at the world, anyhow.

[ at their world. 2016. it's so much complicated. ]

[A little dryly, and with years of long-suffering patience behind it:] Trust me, I'm right.

But you're right, too. It'll be a hell of a lot easier here. And I'll take the shield if you really want me to. But I'm gonna ask you for something in return.

You got a lot of shit to unpack, and we both know that. [Probably everyone knows it.] Sometime, when you're feeling up to it, I want you to sit down and talk about it. To me. I just wanna help, Steve, that's all.

I know.

[ and it means a lot, always have. only steve had never once unpacked. not since a night spent in the wreck of a pub in london with one peggy carter. it's been a while since, a very long while.

he sighs, holds out the shield. go on, take it. ]

I'll try. I promise.

[ a bit of a smile. ]

Try not to practice it indoors.

[Sam carefully takes the shield from Steve. It's lighter than he'd expected - physically, at least. Emotionally, well, he can already feel the weight.]

Oh, yeah, there's a lot of not-indoors to practice it in.

[To be fair, his experience with the fleet thus far is more space than planets, so it's easy to see where he might get a little sarcastic about that.]

I'm not sure I could dent Peggy's ship if I tried, anyway.

[Yes, it's Peggy's ship. Sam knows exactly who he's answering to if he does any damage, thank you very much.]

Well if you do dent it you're on your own.

[ what. he loves her to death but she scares him. ]

I'm taking no responsibility for it.

Abandoning me to the mercy of your girlfriend. I see what kind of friend you are.

[Rude, Steve. Natasha is going to be his new best friend. She just doesn't know it yet.]

The kind who knows what's best for him?

[ have you seen the woman when she's mad? :| ]

Chicken.

[Sam just makes a face at him. Worst best friend.]

After everything we've been through together, and this is how you repay me.

All's fair in love and war.

[ he shrugs and not without a grin. good job, sam. look at this merry mood. ]

The former is very different from the latter.

[ sorry, bro. ]

Having met Peggy, I'm not so sure you're right about that.

[He answers with a grin of his own.]

And in the words of the immortal Pat Benatar, 'love is a battlefield'.

You know, that's how we've met. I could do with another metaphor.

[ no more love in the days of war, thank you. ]

Any other immortal words?

[A good-natured grumble under his breath:] Next time I meet a new best friend, I'm checking their sense of humor first.

Sorry, I'm fresh out of musical wisdom. All I'm coming up with is 'this shit is bananas'.

Edited 2017-08-12 19:57 (UTC)

You might try Bucky.

[ look it's important to him that you two will get along ok ]

he likes modern music.

[He doesn't not get along with Bucky, it's just that they kind of troll each other.

A lot.]

And by modern music, you mean like...anything that was released while you were frozen?

[Let it go, Steve.]

He said something about Taylor Swift.

[ so yeah, modern. ]

[Sam has to cover his mouth with a hand to hide a laugh. Thank you for this precious gift, Steve.]

Really? He doesn't seem like a "teardrops on my guitar" kinda guy.

Shows what you know.

[ what a shit. ]

He said her songs are pretty good.

[open] august starstruck mingle

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