driftfleet | Y'All Need to Dream of Dancing Fish

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Y'All Need to Dream of Dancing Fish

Who: Katie McCoy & you
Broadcast: fleetwide
Action: Iskaulit or Vanquish
When: 27 September.

[Because it's a matter of survival for the fae, Katie learned to deal with her own nightmares very early on. It's one of those issues when your existence straddles the line between the mundane world and the dream one and you see both at once. It can be fun. It can be beautiful. It can also kind of suck ass.

What happened to the planet below is still a source of roiling nausea for her, but she is by far not the only one dreaming of it now.

In one sense, it's good that the scale of destruction is so vast that the human subconscious has difficulty replicating it as echoes in the confined space of the ships themselves, but it doesn't stop her from catching glimpses of horrified faces in the corner of her eye. Ghostly echoes of copper-skinned victims before their death. Corridors suddenly filling with flame and screams. See, that one's jarring as hell and she has difficulty pretending she can't see it. It's enough that she excuses herself from polite company and locks herself in the Vanquish's personnel room, a ball of wool in her hands and a twitchy cat slinking at her heels. Licorice can see it all, too. That's the problem with getting too close to the fae. She wonders idly if Sam is having issues.

She can't exactly make an announcement to demand everyone get over it already. You can't get over something like this. It's healthy to go through that grief. But if a corridor happens to fill with fire while she's in it, she'll burn. And it's her job to try and curb this kind of thing, the way she ... totally didn't do that in Bath. Oh, well.

She does what she can.]

[Video]

Would anyone like a dream catcher? [She holds up a contraption made from baby blue wool and shells, shaking it a little. It looks decidedly average.] Personally speaking, I've always found the ones I didn't make myself far more useful. But you could always try them out and see what happens. Might help with the nightmares none of you are having.

Speaking of non-issues, I suppose this is what being a personnel officer is all about. I really do need my Doctor Is In sign, don't I?

[Decidedly average-looking or not, the dream catchers will reek of magic to anyone who can detect that sort of thing. And they'll work on the nastier nightmares people have until the magic runs down.

She'll be mostly in her personnel room on the Vanquish because these things take time to make, though she'll visit the Iskaulit later to hang out in the fox park and recharge.]

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[ She nods. She's heard and read as much, figures there must be some truth to it. And not that it's worth mentioning right now, but given that death doesn't stick to Jayden period, she can believe it. But... it's true, it doesn't make it hurt less at all. And, in general, just... fuck Atroma. Basically. ]

Yeah, I read that somewhere on the network. Don't remember specifics, just that people tend to come back. I admit I find it a little harder to believe after a whole damn planet got turned to ash with him on it, but... we'll see.

[It's cheap, too, that they come back and there's a world down there with casualties that will never return. Death is meant to be part of the cycle.

...but you know. She can't let go of people easily, either. She loves too hard. So she takes what she can get.]

Doesn't help in the meantime, does it? What ship are you on?

[ Yeah. So much with Atroma and this damn fleet is just plain wrong in general, but that's definitely a large part of it. ]

Not really, unfortunately. But... I'll hang in there. [ Her voice is quiet, resigned. ] I'm on the Goldstone. Where are you? I don't mind coming to pick it up.

I wanted to stretch my legs. But going from ship to ship does sound a bit ridiculous after a while, doesn't it? What if we meet on the Iskaulit?

Works for me. I can be there shortly.

Shall I meet you at the fox park?

[Assuming that's okay, she will indeed wait there, two or three such 'catchers draped loosely over an arm.]

Sounds good. Thanks.

[ And it really isn't too long before she shows up! She probably looks even more tired in person. Doesn't help that she's rubbing at her eyes when she walks up. Damn headache... ]

[Yeah, that's not a good look. Katie frowns lightly.]

I certainly hope a dream catcher works for you. You look very much like you could stand to sleep for a day or three.

I... yeah. I hope so too. [ She rubs the back of her neck, a little embarrassed. ] Three days of sleep sounds real good right now.

And... thanks again. I'm Jayden, by the way.

Katie. I think we could all recharge with that much sleep.

[She hesitates.]

Do you want to talk about it? Talking to a near stranger can help be less awkward, sometimes.

Nice to meet you, Katie.

[ Talking to a near stranger... God. Usually, she hardly ever talks to people she knows. But... maybe. She sighs, presses the heels of her palms to her eyes for a second. ]

... Sure. Might help. If you're sure you don't mind. [ Still, she hesitates. ] Just... it's been a lot to take in.

It's sort of my job to talk to people. Both here and back home, I suppose. [She sits on one of the rocks at the park edge, folding her hands to rest on her knees.]

Most people don't really have to deal with a whole world being destroyed, let alone people they care about dying. Let alone other problems as icing on the cake.

[ It may be her job, but Jayden still wouldn't want to take advantage, or anything like that. But, well, if it's really all right... She takes a seat on another rock. ]

Yeah. And I wouldn't wish any of it on anyone. [ She shakes her head. ] Back home, I... actually died. Probably a few hundred years ago, or something. I don't know. I don't remember how I died. I don't really remember much of anything from that life, except my name.

But three years ago, I was brought back as a Guardian. A soldier. To protect people from the constant war, in the whole solar system. Which, it's fine. [ No it's not but it's not important, so pressing onward. ] That's all whatever.

Thing is... this evacuation stuff? Getting people to leave, helping people to safety, pulling people out of burning homes and putting them on shuttles at the last minute? It all felt way too familiar. Like I'd done it before - not as a Guardian, but... before. And I can't shake that feeling.

[...huh. Well, that's sort of something they have in common. Katie's eyes narrow at the description of why she was brought back because, well, rude. But it's offset by the chance of living again a little, maybe.]

In my experience, if you feel strongly that you may have done something before in another life, you should trust that instinct. We forget for all sorts of reasons, but it's hard to wipe it completely.

If you were brought back as a Guardian, does that mean it's likely you made enough of a name for yourself in history that they saw you'd make a good soldier?

[ Yeah no hella rude. She agrees. Just because she's come to terms with it, and she really does want to help push back the darkness and all that, doesn't mean she appreciates it not being much of a choice.

In her experience...? So past lives are something she's aware of, too? Interesting. And hey, she does have a point, and Jayden takes a second to let that sink in a bit before she nods. ]

You're right. I should. ... I just don't like that of all the things about my past I could hope to ever remember, that's what I get. Especially if might be how I died. [ Trusting her instincts, right? Well, she's got a gut feeling about that, too. Ugh. ]

And... not necessarily. Doesn't seem to be about making a name for yourself in history, more like... you have what it takes to be a Guardian. Don't know if they mean it in a sense of being some badass warrior of some sort, or just... wanting to protect people. But my friends and I feel like it's closer to the latter.

[She makes a face.] The bad stuff scars. I think that's why it's always what we get back first. I hope you'll get something kinder. Some day. If you want it.

What's being a Guardian like? Do you have an organisation?

[It's a simple question, though Katie is, for once, more interested in whether being hauled back to be one is actually something to be thankful for.]

[ yeah, she has no idea if she wants it. But the sentiment is appreciated, of course. ] Heh... thanks.

We do. The Vanguard. It's very militaristic - we're sent on missions, act as strike forces, or defend the Last City and take care of the civilians. It's... pretty much war all the time. But if it keeps the people who can't fight safe from invading forces, I'll do it.

Do you ever get time off? Hours to yourself? A chance to relax?

Not... often. [ She lets out a deep breath. ] I get time to myself when I get home after a mission, but there aren't like... scheduled breaks.

[She relaxes a little, then. "Resurrected to fight a war" sounds glorious but also sounds like slavery in the hands of the wrong people, but it seems there's a home to go back to and time to wind down.]

Are you the only one here from your world?

Yeah, I am. There was one other Guardian when I first got here, but she's been gone for a while now.

What about you? Got anyone from home?

My dad was here for a while, actually. I'd rather he was home, though, so I'm glad he left.

[She's...actually glad nobody she knows from home is here. She doesn't think people will be too happy with her.]

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Y'All Need to Dream of Dancing Fish

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gdit I think I deleted this by mistake SORRY

no worries!

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