First Breath of October

[bi_otic]

Who: First Breath crew and visitors!
Broadcast: If desired
Action: SS First Breath
When: Month of October

[As the fleet leaves the Eyuzi system behind and drifts into increasingly deserted space, it's become obvious that two members of the fleet - Furiosa and Kaidan - never returned from their missions.

But, as Lyuku begins to heal so is the crew of the First Breath, and soon the two will return.

Otherwise...idk, spooky stuff.]

Comments

[scanninggaydis]

[There's something about that last statement that clearly affects Felix. It isn't shock, it isn't disgust. He understands. Maybe for different reasons, but he understands that very deeply. (It's also a little hard to forget the time he admitted something similar to someone - under duress - and got told it made him a waste of their time. Not that that's any sort of weight he's going to lay on Kaidan's shoulders. Not even a whiff of it.)

But.

He's quiet for a long moment, thoughts clearly somewhere else. Directed inward. His focus drifts away from Kaidan's face.

Finally, he nods.]

I think that's understandable. [Actually, you know what, that's not strong enough.] I know it is.

[Part of him wants to say that he absolutely believes that something like this, like death, should have this kind of price tag. That it should mean something, physically. He doesn't say that though. It's not going to be helpful.]

[bi_otic]

[He starts to reach aside for another blanket to counteract the oncoming chill but pauses part way through, his eyes cast to the side. He can sense the weight under those words, like something leaden sinking to the bottom of the ocean.]

You do?

[Carefully prodding. He shivers, visibly, and tugs the blanket over his shoulders]

[scanninggaydis]

...Yeah. Not for the exact same reason, but--

[Felix pauses, shifts a little where he's standing. This isn't supposed to be about him, and this is hard to admit, still. Hard to talk about.

...But if he expects to encourage Kaidan to talk, then this isn't something he can wiggle out of. And it's just a little. Just...a small admission. To explain how he understands.]

I...after I died-- [Because he knows Kaidan saw that much in his memories during those damn Calibrations, saw his execution.] -- when I was brought...back, in that other place...

I didn't want it. For a long time. [He's looking down at his hands which are folded in front of him. Felix doesn't think Kaidan's going to judge him but just in case...he can't really force himself to look up.] I just wanted...to be dead.

So. I get the feeling. Of not wanting...this.